Winning Attributes

I've observed thousands of people over the years, as part of my work and as part of my natural interest in learning and observing behavior. I've come to identify limiting as well as successful attributes and behaviors in people. I examine and refine this list to benefit my clients as well as myself. I'll share a few examples with you today- as we prepare for our new year and to be our best selves.

Be Social- in a good and balanced way- and you'll be rewarded with great relationships
Believe it or not I was a shy child in many respects. At the age of 12 I realized that to build relationships with others you need to be social. As an only child that didn't come naturally to me. I had to work at it. And, I had to work hard to discover how to do it well and in a balanced way. I remember at one point getting it very wrong- and believing that I had to give people my toys to have them like me. There were a lot of growing pains.

Be a Great Networker to promote yourself, your business and help others
I had a friend who seemed to know everyone. She could solve any problem by picking up the phone. She was a giver. A helper. I admired her. I was in my early 20's when I met her in Philadelphia. I knew then that she was on to something with her incredible social skills. I later came to see that it was networking at its best. I mirrored her in the things she did and began to harness my own abilities as a networker.

Observe Others to be Your Best
Look to other people to see how you can improve. I'm not suggesting that you compete and compare yourself with others to the point of losing who you are- however, I am advocating that you step away from yourself to examine attributes of others that could enhance who you are. You can teach an old dog new tricks! You can become and do things that you haven't before. You can live your life the way you want to. It truly is a personal choice that you have to become the person you want to be- free of any limitations that have been set at your doorstep in days before. One small example of this is public speaking. If you would like to be better at it there are groups you can join, books you can read, coaches you can hire, etc.... Thousands of people harness this skill every year. You are no different. You can become a great speaker if you want to.

I wish you health, happiness and prosperity in 2009!

A Life Coach's Contribution to Wellness Programs

How can a life coach help my company and our employees?

As health care costs rise companies are reaching out to employees to take a greater hand in their health and related costs. Costs are expected to rise 6.8% this year and 40% of employers surveyed reported that they’ll ask employees to do more cost-sharing.1 Alternative avenues to increase health and wellness are being sought at the company level to lower health care costs while increasing employee heath and education.

Top-tier companies recognize the benefits of healthy and happy employees therefore they are inviting nutritionists, personal trainers, smoking cessation coaches and others into the workplace for the benefit of both the employee and company. These experts are being packaged in Wellness Programs and other benefits packages offered by the company for free or at a significantly reduced cost to employees. And, it’s working. The Pittsburgh Business Times reported that for every $1 that a company invested in wellness programs they received $1.65 in benefits returned.[1] Wellness programs not only save companies and individuals money (an estimated $1,476 per person), they yield additional benefits such as lower rates of absenteeism, improved morale and increased productivity.[2] When employees thrive and take ownership of their health, well being and overall success, everyone wins- including the companies employing them.

Life coaching is ideal for wellness programs and other benefits packages because it covers multiple facets of an employee’s life. Life coaches work with people on areas such as wellness and health, decision-making and relationships, workplace development, home-life balance and overall achievement in various areas of their life. Coaches have been used by leaders and executives for many years but are becoming more popular with the mainstream as they become more affordable and services are more widespread across the country.

As a life coach, I have personally helped people and businesses do the following[3]:
Organize space and tasks to be more productive – thus increasing revenue
Build better relationships with coworkers, managers and clients- strengthening reputation, increasing repeat business, optimizing working relationships and increasing revenue
Examine and identify areas lacking optimal productivity- thus increasing productivity
Increase confidence, decision-making and leadership abilities- to better serve the company, product or service and/or career elevation
Ensure that employees are thriving in both home and work arenas- a holistic approach to health and wellness achievement
Become more healthful (specifically losing weight and quitting smoking)- longevity and strengthening quality of life

Life coaching options for your company and employees may include:
A resident life coach for employee accessibility one or two days a week (in-house)
On-call coaching (by appointment) for employees during or after work hours
Monthly life coaching seminars at the office (30-60 minutes)

Financial options may include:
Company pays 100% of coaching
Company and employee share in the cost of coaching
Employees pay 100% of coaching (company provides the introduction, resource materials and perhaps meeting space)

[1] Pittsburgh Business Times. With heath care costs on rise, workers will have to shell out. February 22-28, 2008.
[2] Pittsburgh Business Times. Focus on wellness saves medical claim costs, survey finds. October 19-25, 2007.
[3] Please see my testimonials for more information as to my work with individuals and companies.

Pick One Project... any project

As 2008 winds down, I encourage you to enter 2009 with your best foot forward.

I believe it was my mother who told me that they way you start 2009 is the way it will progress. Therefore, she encouraged me to start it with a clean house!

Well, I'd like the clean house to symbolize your life. Clean it up. Organize it. Feel good about what you have and what you want. Know what direction you will pursue in 2009.

Choose one project that has been on your mind, or to-do list, for months (i.e., getting a picture framed, organizing photos, planning an event, etc...) and do it BEFORE 12/30/08. You'll feel accomplished AND you'll be stepping in the right direction for 2009.

Oh, and clean your house too. :)

Happy Holidays!

Don't Forget Your Favorite Charities...

Pic: Louie B (a shelter dog) pretending to earn his kibble.

I'm a huge animal lover! I always have been. I remember getting bit on the face as a child by a dog and telling my mom it was my fault for sneaking up on him. I still have the scar from that incident. But, I never once stopped supporting animal related causes. I suppose I'm a die-hard.

Each year at Christmastime, my dear friend Tara and I contribute money in each other's names to animal-centered organizations. I do the same for my mother at Mother's Day and on her birthday.

No matter what cause you feel close to, don't forget about them during times like these. We all seem to be a little more generous around the holidays. This year is slightly less-so due to economic concerns, but it shouldn't mean that our most loved charities have to bear the brunt of it. I'd rather pick up one less "gift" and contribute more in times like this.

Please consider making a donation in your loved ones honor or memory this holiday. It will make a greater difference that you know.

Happiest of holidays,
Lisa

176.2

Luckily, I'm not one to discourage easily. In three weeks since my last post not one ounce has budged. I am thankful to not have added one however.

Why has my weight stayed the same?
I haven't worked as hard as I should have on the food front. I only made better choices a handful of times and allowed my cravings to dictate my eating schedule and menu.

What have I done well these last three weeks?
I have hit the gym 5 days each week for at least an hour. Its a habit I'm enjoying. I enjoy it most because it represent my taking ownership of my choices and my body. It feels good to work out. And, it feels great to turn off the phone to do so. No one interrupts my gym time. Not even me.

What do I have to focus on in the next three weeks?
1. Consistently hitting the gym
2. Adding an online training partner and coach to do the best I can with my fitness routine
3. Dedicate myself to eating well (healthful) each day for this next three week period to prove the power of doing so

I'm feeling better already. Although the weight hasn't budged I am seeing benefits of taking the control for my figure and health back.

And, I have another incentive. I'll be at the Inaugural Ball on January 20th. I'll be seeing all of my friends from the DC area. I want to look good for that event too.

Here's to your health!

Lisa

2009 Resolutions

Its just a few weeks away. 2009. Tell it what you expect of it now. Don't enter it blindly.

What do you want to accomplish in 2009?

What are your personal goals? Financial goals? Spiritual goals? Career or business goals? Heck, I even have goals for home projects. I work them into the budget and give them time lines.

What is the benefit of having goals?

It helps give structure to your life. And, most of us need and thrive on good structure. It gives us purpose and direction.

How do I stay on track?

Have all of your goals written down and review them weekly at first, then when you are on the right path, monthly. Share them with others in your life and have discussions about them. Invite others to share their goals with you. Recognize that your goals were made because they were important to you so stick with them. Don't let another year go by to find them on the list with little progress. You control the success of your goals.

Happy Goal Setting. I hope that 2009 is your best year ever!

Trim the Fat.... its long overdue

I try to navigate around all of the negative talk- recession, lost jobs, no money.... yadda yadda yadda. It does little good to hear it. And, even worse, to hear it frequently is enough to make sure your will is up to date and check your supplemental insurance fine lines.

Make no mistake, I'm far from the "safe zone" as I have 2 of 4 family members being laid off this year (in manufacturing and labor positions). But, I don't think that surrounding yourself with this type of discussion does anything positive to move you and your family forward.

Winners don't wallow. They assess, pick up, and move on.

Now, on to the point of my blog. Get your firing gloves out. Not the ones for pottery. The ones that you wear when you have to let people go. Its unpleasant but necessary. Especially necessary now, if you ask me. You should have done it long ago but you thought you'd let them slide. Slide no more.

Take a hard look around and fire the people who shouldn't have been on the payroll to begin with. They don't do their work well. Their position is obsolete. They have no productive place in your shop.

Recognize your responsibility. You have a responsibility to keep your business profitable or afloat during hard times. You have a responsibility to your employees to give them a decent, safe, and positive work environment. Now, they have a responsibility to you. They have the responsibility to show up, do well, and take their job seriously. If they don't do that- get rid of them. If out of 8 hours you can only see 2 hours of production- you have a responsibility to investigate that. How can that be positive and productive for your business- and for your harder working employees?

Now, I'm not advocating firing from the hip or haphazardly. There is a right way to do it and many wrong ways. You also have the responsibility to ensure people know what gets them fired- and what keeps them on. And, you have a responsibility, in my opinion, to train or retrain them to see if you can keep them on. But, if not, let them go and show your respect for your business and your harder working employees.

We can all cut the fat- in our work and home lives. Its a necessary element to growth and productivity.

Get firing. If you can't do it, hire someone who can and will.

Happy Holidays. (insert tongue in cheek here)

Massage Get One.

A quick note today.

How often do you get a massage? Never. Oh, you are missing out.

Massage is good for the body, mind and soul. I go every 4 weeks. I'd like to go every week.

If you've never had one and are hesitant- have a foot or hand massage. Or, have a chair massage fully clothed.

There are all different types of massages and they focus on different parts of the body. For instance, a great hair shop normally gives clients a good scalp massage when washing their hair. If you've ever had one of these you know it! It feels great.

Try a massage today. Book a long-overdue massage. Your body, mind and soul will thank you for it.

Perhaps a great gift idea for you and your loved ones.

Phone Etiquette

In a conversation at a networking meeting last week someone brought this subject up, again. Phone etiquette. Do you realize how important it is?

How many times do you have to ask, "what?" when someone speaks to you on the phone? Sometimes the way they answer allows you to see their messy desk and dash across the office with their phone in hand. They are speaking so quickly you have to ask what language they are speaking in. Or, you are tuned in to the fact that they hate their job. You can hear that in their voice too.

Have a training for your staff on communications. Include telephone etiquette and express why its important.

Basic tips:

• Speak slowly and clearly
• Repeat and confirm critical information (phone numbers, credit card details, dates and times of appointments, ...)
• Be pleasant and polite
• Don't allow your personal life in your phone voice or conversation with a client or potential client
• Follow the Golden Rule

Why is phone etiquette important?

• You and your company will be judged by how someone answers and is treated on the telephone
• Clients call you. Clients are revenue. Upset clients. Upset revenue.
• You have an opportunity to promote you, your business, your product and your philosophy when you interact with someone on the telephone- use it to your advantage
• You have a responsibility to be a good steward in the community and here is one of many chances to do that. Treat people well and they will do the same for you.

Schedule that training today. Get company input. Reward great phone etiquette. Make 2009 your year to shine.

Foodie Fundraising - Women's Initiative

I am blogging today instead of Friday as I'll be too full of Turkey to do anything (not really, it just sounded good).

I'd like to remain on my thankful thoughts this week by sharing with you an extraordinary new initiative that I'm honored to be a part of... Foodie Fundraising. Foodie Fundraising features my book World War II Radio Heroes: Letters of Compassion (2008).

Foodie Fundraising is a new site and project by Debra Dion Krischke. She is passionate about supporting women worldwide- as am I. She has created Foodie Fundraising to feature several gift items that can be purchased with the goal of giving some of the purchase price to women's initiatives worldwide.

I encourage you to visit Foodie Fundraising at http://www.foodiefundraising.com/ and shop for the holidays. Also, pause for a moment to imagine the lives that so many women are living - often without the necessities and luxuries that we've become accustomed to. Imagine living one day without clean water. Imagine living without electricity. Or worse, imagine dreaming about a life free of violence toward you or your children.

What are you most thankful for?

176.2

"What on earth is 176.2," you ask? My weight.

I am doing something wild and brazen- as is often the case with me in case you don't know. I am planning to blog every third Monday about my battle with weight- which I intend to win (another thing about me you might not know- I hate to lose).

So, here is our starting point. I say "our" because I am often asked by people how I managed weight loss in the past. So many people, women and men, are on that journey to better health and self-esteem. I encourage you to join me. Comment on your own journey as we go or just check in and use me as your partner on the journey. I'm here to win. I'm also here to help you win.

First, a little history. I was always a fat little girl. My mom was always the slender gal she is today. People often commented on how we didn't appear to share the same genes even though our faces look the same. She put me on diet after diet during my pre-teen years. Nothing worked. Maybe it was the candy she'd give me as she found it hard to deny her only child the sweets other children were getting. (Ironically, I don't like desserts. I'm not a chocolate fan. And, sweets are far from my caloric problem areas.) I recall many a day crying at home on my bed after school because of people making fun of me at school. But, those days are far over. Let's move on.

At the age of 12 I lost 50 pounds in 3 months. I played tennis everyday, however badly. I ate junk (you can do that at 12) and took up other bad habits (which I won't mention here). I entered high school with high self-esteem (although I still felt fat at 130) and tons of positive attention (not sure that was what I needed, but it was the case nonetheless).

As I grew into my 20's the weight slowly came back. In college I was probably 180 or so- but I still felt great and didn't have any self-esteem issues.

It wasn't until 32 my weight became a crisis again. My new doctor alerted me that I had high blood pressure. What? Me? No! My weight was now at 213 (according to his scale) and 209 according to mine. :) I had a big problem, pardon the pun.

So, over the next two years I dropped 62 pounds. I was down to 151 and felt fabulous. Blood pressure was no longer an issue.

Since that time, the pounds have snuck back on. I dropped the ball. I started to eat badly, often. I ignored the gym pass I pay a fortune for. And, I was convinced my fiance was just washing our clothes in hot water. :)

Today's Renewed Determination. I have toyed with renewing my determination to loose weight for a few weeks now - probably more like a few months. But, the kick in the pants you need sometimes comes at odd times that do or do not correspond with your desires. It's here now.

My clothes don't fit the way I want them to. I am feeling bad about my body (which hasn't been the case since I was 12). And, I have a wedding in almost 6 months. So, here goes....

Goal: I will lose 30 pounds (146.2) in 6 months (May 24, 2008).

I will chart my progress on this blog.

I will achieve this goal by hitting the gym 5 days per week for at least 45 minutes per workout (not counting arriving, parking, changing, chatting....). I will make better food and beverage choices starting today: nothing fried, more fish, more veggies, more raw food, less sugar, less bread.....

Join me friends. Let's make this holiday season about our health and well being. Its not going to be easy but its going to be one of the most rewarding things we can do for ourselves.

Yours truly at 176.2
Lisa

Creating Your Plan for 2009

Now is the time to lay out your life map for 2009. Here's an quick step version of how to do that.

1. Spend some time in thought- what do you want to accomplish in 2009, why, and what are the small steps to get you there
2. Write down your goals, rationales for those goals, and timelines for the small steps
3. Tell everyone about your goals. Share your written plan with them so they can support you. Encourage them to have a plan and encourage each other.
4. You must hold yourself accountable to the steps and timelines- or find someone who will hold you accountable (remember, this is your life- don't cheat yourself out of another year)
5. Review your goals daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly and annually (depending upon how they are written)
6. Forgive yourself for minor missteps and get back on the plan immediately (we all eat a little chocolate while on a diet)
7. Reward yourself for the milestones you achieve
8. Repeat as necessary

My plan also includes data on my status; what did I accomplish this year; what attributes do I have that allow me to achieve my goals; what am I thankful for; what are my 5 year and life's goals; etc..... This is more like a report or guide versus a single piece of paper. I run my life rather than let life run me. This guide helps me do that.

Happy 2009!

When to Call it Quits

So often people continue down a path only because its familiar and comfortable. The path is often ineffective.

Are you on any paths that are not producing the results you need. Mind you, I didn't say the results you wanted. I said need.

Are you challenging yourself in life? Are you building your life (working on it, making it stronger and better) or just living it?

One example I run into frequently is in the therapeutic domain. So many people have gone to the same therapist for years- with minimal results. The most significant result is that they've built a relationship with their therapist that is comfortable. They know what to expect each time they go. They know how the conversation will go. I wholeheartedly believe in the relationship building and need for comfort in this relationship, however, I see it often prove ineffective if the goal is true therapy. The trouble rests in that most people can choose their therapist and they choose one that is easy- one that doesn't challenge them too much. One that agrees with them. It allows them to feel as though they are trying. "Hey, I go to therapy." But, is the therapy effective or is it just a routine? Very few people will continue to go down a difficult path if they can switch to one that is easier.

As a life coach, I often see people who say they want to make some changes but they really don't want to put the effort in. Or, they don't want to put forth the resources that is required to make the changes they want. Its just lip service. They are not ready. But, the only one they let down is themself. Don't be one of these peole. Take control of your life today. Take responsibility for the way that its turning out. Make tomorrow what you want of it. You don't have to do it alone but it may not always be a path of roses either. Grab the rope and hang on- let go when I tell you.

Keep in mind that you have ~85 years in this life to make it worthwhile. Some of those years are already spent. So, what do you plan to do with what is left? Challenge yourself- in all domains. Show us what you are made of.

Some ways to challenge yourself:

• Take a trip by yourself for at least 5 days- ideally in another country
• Take a weekend or week long workshop on something totally new to you
• Discover a new hobby (one that you have dreamed of but thought was impossible for you)
• Revisit what you do for a living and consider a significant change for the better
• Go get the degree you've always wanted
• Write your own memoir in 60 days

Gain Some Perspective

I'm going to share a story with you that unfolded just yesterday.

I had a business lunch on my calendar for a few weeks. My lunch date was a woman who I adore as both a friend and a master business leader in our area. I love the time we spend together. Its often filled with wild ideas- neither of us put limits on each other- and bright visions of the future and the work we can do together. We don't spend time ho humming about the economy or in the doom and gloom conversation I often hear others engaged in.

So, there I waited at our scheduled destination. I somehow knew I would remain by myself.

I tried to remember if I had confirmed. I thought I had but yet couldn't find the message on my blackberry.

I had recalled getting an email from her to the masses a few days earlier about her daughter- but she often sends them so I didn't rush to open it. It would have to wait, along with a few hundred others, that came in and were not a top priority (or so I thought).

I know something is wrong as 10 minutes have passed, pass the time we were scheduled to meet. She is not one to be late. I emailed her.

She emailed me promptly back from her iPhone and told me that she was in the hospital with her daughter- who had been there for 4 days and is expected to be there another 8 or 21 more.

We talked at some length. I offered to pull an overnight duty if she needed a break. It was the least that I could do.

I felt terrible. I was so caught up in every day business that I failed to take 30 seconds to open an email from a friend.

Life sometimes gets the best of us. It had got the best of me this week. I had 12 speaking engagements, client meetings and the usual business events to attend. And, I was wildly enthusiastic about my business brainstorming with a dear girlfriend. But business isn't the be-all-end-all in life. Life is more than that.

I think about my superstar business girlfriend overseeing her daughter in the hospital and am reminded that THAT is what life is about. Being there for those we love.

Thank a Veteran Tomorrow

Tomorrow, Tuesday November 11, 2008, is Veteran's Day.

As most of you know Veterans are very close to my heart. I recently wrote a book that features my favorite veteran, my grandfather, Robert May Spahr. (www.powletters.com)

I hope that you'll take a minute to thank a Veteran (or dozens of them) and his or her family for their contributions to our country, health and well being. We owe them greatly.

Thank you for recognizing the need to be thankful. Its an attractive virtue.

Only the best to each of you.

Lisa Spahr

Reading to Guide You

Clients and friends often ask my advice on reading materials for various outcomes. Here are my general thoughts.

I highly encourage you to be a active member of any national or international groups in your profession. Pick only one and become a part of it. Make sure they deliver at least monthly news from the field (peer reviewed ideally)- what is working, what's not, and what is on the cutting edge. Remember that your education shouldn't stop at any point in your successful career. You should be at the height of up-to-date knowledge in your field, know the key players well, and contribute to the information sharing.

As a business person I subscribe to Inc., Fast Company, Entrepreneur, and Forbes Magazines. I subscribe to a few others but have to confess that they don't excite me very much. Forbes, is in fact on the lower side of enjoyment for me, but I love the Executive Women issues that come out seasonally.

Read for education, inspiration, enjoyment for the field and to break away from the normal day-to-day stuff. Your brain needs it. Your business needs it.

Oh, and for pleasure, I subscribe to Cooking Light and Real Simple. They just make my life better.

I encourage you to comment on your own reading lists (books, blogs, magazines, etc...).

Happy Reading!

Vote Because You Can!

I can't think of one person that should not be heading to the polls tomorrow, November 4th. Further, I cannot think of one person who should not be engaged in conversation about the election. It has been lively... and at times passionately negative. Some conflict is good for the soul. Its a great time to get your brain flowing with thought, creativity, and excitement.

I believe you have a responsibility to yourself and your community to vote. I believe that if you fail to cast your ballot you should not speak one word about the state of affairs- and your associated grumblings to go along with it. You have no voice with me if you don't show up at the polls.

I have changed my mind in this election. My decision-making process has been filled with challenges. However, I organized my priorities and then looked to each candidate (presidential and vice presidential, and local) to see who best mirrored what mattered to me most. The decision wasn't as clear as most others I make in my life. Some of my priorities rested with one candidate and others with another. But, I had to make peace with my choice - which considering overall character of each candidate.

I have daily conversations with my partner on our opposing views. It helps us understand each other and reaffirm what is most important to us. The fact we can have these issues on the table- even while sitting at opposite ends- makes me respect our relationship even more.

I look forward to making my voice heard tomorrow. I look forward to seeing you do the same.

Vote. Vote with confidence that you've done your homework and you've chosen the best choice for you and your community.

What is Your Formula?

I hear it often. "Lisa, how did you do that?" That question is one of the pivotal keys to my becoming a life coach. I wanted to help others "do that"- whatever that was for them.

People are often disappointed with me when I can't answer them the way they want. They are looking for a course that I took, a book I read, an experience I had- that they can replicate to do the same thing. It just doesn't work that way.

Its like asking a painter how they paint or how they become inspired. Its a really hard question to answer.

Or, asking the engineer to explain how they are doing their work- it would take hours, days and maybe weeks. If they give you the broad answer you might be unhappy- you want more- yet you don't want to spend the 4+ years in education that they did learning their trade.

I often say, "that's just who I am and what I do". That isn't good enough for them. They want more. I understand that.

The truth is it comes naturally for me- because of my formula.

I get paid to give advice. And, I'd like to say that I think my advice is spot on at least 90% of the time. How do I derive at such advice- that is successful? Well, the answer is in my formula. We all have one.

The formula includes my 18 years of formal education, the dozens of various courses I took outside of that; my 23 years work experience (yes, I've been working since the age of 12) for small shops and large corporations; my upbringing and background; my voracious learning, observation and reading; my methodology for decision making and processing; the company I keep; my beliefs; my values; my creativity; ..... you see where this is going. Who I am is how I work. A simple answer doesn't exist to "how I do it".

What's your formula? How do you do what you do?

Are You a Champion?

Spahr Consulting has launched the Champions Series!

For the price of dinner you can invest in yourself and your business- with other Champions! Finally -a flavor of coaching that fits your needs.

The Champions Series and Champions Membership is open to those who are interested in personal and business growth. A Champion is one who invests in him/herself and recognizes the potential for improvement in all areas.

The Champions Series:
- will introduce you to other Champions;
- welcome you to a HOT topic meeting each month; and
- foster you in identifying and achieving your goals in a positive and productive setting.

The Champions Series Meeting will be held Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Topic: Cultivating the Leader in You!

The program takes place in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, however Champions who do not live here or are unable to attend receive an MP3 version for convenient download.

There are more than 295,000 books on leadership at Amazon.com. Wow. Where do you begin?

Are you born a leader or do you learn and practice leadership? What are the top 5 qualities that a leader must possess to be effective? Who determines your effectiveness? This seminar will give you the formula for cultivating the leader in you- in an hour! Beat that!

Join the Champions Series today.
Membership Includes:
Ø Weekly Electronic Coaching Moments
Ø Monthly Champions Meeting
Ø Invitation to 1 Guest Per Month to Champions Meeting for $10
Ø 15-Minute Personal Coaching Each Month (via telephone)
Ø Exclusive Options to Upgrade Coaching in the Future

If you do not have a Membership Application please email Lspahr@spahrconsulting.com and request one or visit www.spahrconsulting.com for more information.

We look forward to working with the Champion in you!

Choosing the Best Life for Yourself: 5 Tips

What are 5 things I can do today to improve my life?

(I'm glad you asked.)

1. Get a library card and go- each week
Read. Read. Read. And, hang out with people who do.

2. Turn off the TV with very few exceptions
Watch what really matters to you- and limit the time you do so to no more than 30 minutes a day.

3. Spend time each day evaluating who you are and where you want to go
Meditate. Give thanks. Reach far. Dare to dream. Inspire others. Find your inspiration.

4. Take pride in what you look and feel like
Fix yourself. Clean yourself up. Stop smoking. Walk daily. Wear only what fits and looks good. Allow your appearance and self care to open doors for you.

5. Choose your associates carefully
We are who we keep. Rid yourself of drama and negative filled people. Choose those you want to spend time with and love. Make sure they contribute to your life in a good way - and you do the same for them.

Live well. Live better.

If you like this blog, join my electronic monthly newsletter- Living Better Newsletter. Each month we have offers for members (membership is free), tips on living better, and other good things for your life. Enjoy.

Thank you for making my blog a part of your week. I blog every Monday and Friday- unless I'm on travel.

Lisa

For 10 Minutes Do What You Want

I'd like you to close your door. Turn off all sounds. And, think.

Think of what you'd do today if you had 10 million in the bank.

What would your day look like?

Really think about this for 10 minutes. How would you live?

Now, ask 4 friends or colleagues the same question- today.

Email me your answers at lspahr@spahrconsulting.com

Bank Tellers Can't Add- A warning to business owners

An unnerving incident occurred this week that highlighted the decisions we make in business- and how those decisions may be adversely effecting our favorite clients.

I was at my trusty bank, where I have several accounts, and the teller asks if she could assist me with anything else (good move). I said, yes, there was a pesky charge on one of my accounts for a service fee I didn't recognize.

Problem 1: The teller could view the service fee line item but it was not a description of the fee itself- she had to go to a list of fees and match up the amount to see what it could possibly be

Problem 2: Together we deduced that it was a service fee for a deposit, some time ago, where I added the slip wrong- and the teller didn't catch it. So, the incorrect amount was posted to my account only to be later remedied by corporate. Aren't tellers supposed to check your deposits? Isn't that one of the primary responsibilities they have?

Activities like this make me question the business leaders at work. The bank is supposed to be my advisor and manager of my money. I pay them to do so. I trust them to do so. So, when they fail to do so- why and how are they charging me? Outrageous! I told the lovely teller that this error has me reevaluating my banking options. I further thought it was underhanded of them not to have a description in the line item for the service fee- why not be 100% transparent?

Businesses this is a lesson for you. Don't allow someone to tell you that you should charge your clients, additionally, for things that should be staples in your business. Be mindful that your best clients are finicky and will walk if they feel undervalued. Be smart about your fee structures. Be honest and fair in how you treat your clients. But, above all else, do your job and do it with the utmost of integrity!

Blinkers are Good Indicators

Part rant. Part lesson.

I am not surprised but still disheartened when I witness bad driving habits. I am angered when those habits border on causing serious injury to someone.

This happens often but is still somewhat humorous to me:
I'm driving along on a 4-lane street. I can tell from my neighbor driver (parallel to me) that they want over, not because their blinker (turn signal) is on, but by the way they are aggressively looking at me and feverishly braking or speeding up (they change their mind and speed every 3 seconds)! I like to think that I am many things to many people. But, a mind reader, sir or madam, I am not! Nor, should I have to read your other signals to know what it is you intend to do. That is in fact, what the great blinker was made for. Use it!

Another day. Another experience.
I was driving somewhere at 6 AM. The only other fool on the road happened to be on my back bumper as though we were in a demolition derby. They were in such a rush I thought they were literally going to run me over. The only person who has a right to drive that way, in my opinion, is someone with emergency lights on their vehicle. Where was he so anxious to go? The gas station. No joke. He pulled into the gas station as I sat at the light. Rather than chance an accident- how about getting up 10 minutes earlier and making the world a little safer? I know I sometimes come up with wild ideas. Just try me.

I think that blinkers are good indicators as to your personality. I believe that people who don't use them believe they are better than everyone else. They think they are better drivers and don't need to use them. They also speed more than those who use their blinkers. The aggression and arrogance seep out in other arenas too. They are in a hurry (yes, their time is more valuable than ours- didn't you know) and they have no problem angering or frightening you to help them move along at a more acceptable pace. (I know, now I sound like I'm 100 years old.)

Do you want to hire these people? Do you want to have them watch your children or coach them? Is one your boss?

I'm a blinker user (full disclosure: 98% of the time). And, I'm proud of it. I'm honest, respectful, cautious and mindful of others, and I don't believe my journey should seriously impact another person. I am NOT in emergency services. I shouldn't drive like I am.

I welcome blinkers in my life. I encourage non-blinkers to anger management and true leadership training. They have a lot of great qualities we can harness once we get them under control.

Thanks for allowing the rant and lesson within. Don't be a non-blinker. Its ugly.

The Nuts to Networking

If you are new to networking, don't worry. It gets easier.

Here are some of the essentials to networking:

1. Identify your business in 60 seconds. This is called your "commercial". You should be able to effectively engage another business owner with what you say. The key is to be (a) interesting and (b) helpful in conveying what you do. You want them to ask you questions about your business. The commercial shouldn't be so vague they don't know what to ask- or worse, they don't want to ask anything. You can talk about a perfect client or a special you are featuring. You can tell a very short story about who would need your services. Have fun with it and try out different commercials or "60 seconds".
2. Identify three great networking events per month to attend (or more). A great networking event will attract other business owners that you want to get to know. They may have a similar client base as you do. If you sell office supplies to large companies you don't want to go to a networking group with all home-based businesses. Do some investigative work so that you make the best use of your time. Some networking groups meet weekly and others meet monthly. The more frequently you meet the more you are likely to get to know each other- which is where business will start to happen. So, don't be afraid to go more often.
3. If the thought of going into a room of people frightens you to death, take a partner. Introduce each other. Be bold. Be friendly. Networking is part of business. Get out there!
4. Each month identify 4 people you want to get to know better. Meet them for coffee and learn about each others businesses.
5. Repeat

Networking is easier for some than it is for others. Don't worry. It gets easier as you do it. And, the rewards to doing it well are endless.

Fight the Blues Anyway You Can

Don't lose sight of what is important. Don't fall off track.

The easiest way to stay focused is to use your time and spend your time remaining positive about yourself and your goals. Don't allow negativity (about the economy, conflict between others, etc...) to alter your plan.

Remind yourself of your goals daily. First thing in the morning, spend a few minutes saying what matters most to you on this day. Reaffirm your dedication to your goals by saying them one by one. Remember how wealthy you are (richness is not measured in dollars but the quality of our fabric- and those we have in our circles).

Ignore the negative stimuli that seems to surround us on a daily basis in the paper, on the television, in the idle chat our our colleagues, etc.... Avoid it.

You can easily be consumed with negativity IF you allow yourself to be. Equally as easy, is blocking that stimuli from consuming you.

You choose.

Hygiene in the Workplace: It Matters

Last week I was shopping at a major retailer for business supplies. What I witnessed prompted this weeks blog.

I'm far from a germophobe- you can ask my friends and family. However, I realize that the world is getting more health conscious. People are paying attention to illness origin and germs more than they ever have before. Companies have moved to the motto- if you are sick, stay home. That has become an order to promote faster healing as well as keeping the healthy workforce healthy.

The cashier at this major chain had a chronic cough- every 5 seconds she was coughing. Sometimes she'd cover her mouth, other times she wouldn't. She then began picking at her lips with her fingers- a nervous habit or one out of boredom. She was using these same fingers to punch details into the cash register, take my credit card, and touch my purchases. Yuck. Even I was offended. She told me to have a great day. I told her that I hoped she would feel better. And, she looked at me as though I was crazy. Maybe she felt great.

Business owners beware. Part of your training needs to include hygiene and illness. What are employees to do when they are sick? How sick? What behaviors are acceptable in the workplace and not so. We are all familiar with hygiene and behaviors in the food industry. Let's set many of those same standards in other workplaces to foster better business, happier employees and customers, and a healthier environment.

Here's to your health.

"I'll do that later." The Procrastinator's Theme

This week I was at a corporation delivering a talk on stress reduction. An employee approached me and asked what advice I have for the chronic procrastinator.

If you have trouble "doing something now" and always seem to "put off til tomorrow.... or tomorrow's tomorrow..." here are a few simple suggestions to getting it done.

List those things you are putting off.
List those things you'll do right away (scheduling a spa day, grabbing lunch, hitting the happy hour circuit, etc...)
Assign a pairing of something you put off and something you have no problem doing such as... I will make 5 calls and THEN I can go to lunch.
Or, make it a string of things to do before enjoying a pleasurable item or event ... I will do three things (list them specifically) on my list before I get to schedule my weekend.

Be disciplined. Be on top of all of the things on your list- including those you don't like.

Don't put off til tomorrow those things you've been doing so for a month. Drop it completely or get it done.

Put on Your Consumer Vision

I often speak to groups about networking and building a successful business.

It often surprises me that people fail to try to see things from a consumer aspect.

To build a successful business you need to offer three things:

1. Be there (in person, on mind, and at their fingertips) and ready to deliver
2. Make a favorable and lasting impression
3. Provide value (not the cheapest price!)

To do the above you have to look at your business from a consumer standpoint. You already think you do all three. But, do they? Why don't more think that of you and your business?

I challenge you to partner up with a fellow business professional (not your best friend) and offer to review each others businesses with your consumer vision or consumer goggles. It would go something like this:

• We each agree to spend 3 hours reviewing each others businesses over the next 30 days
• We will review the following materials or items: (examples) storefront, business cards, marketing materials, philosophy, presence in the community, etc...
• We will deliver a written report to each other on such a date when we meet for coffee. The report will include our impressions of the materials, recommendations and/or feedback on how to improve them and our overall impression of your business (in the three key aspects stated above in this blog).

Now, just because your business partner doesn't accept each recommendation doesn't mean the exercise was not valuable. Remember, business is not personal! You learned about your business from another persons perspective- and you offered your valuable insight to them on theirs. You've already won by doing the exercise.

Have You Overstayed Your Welcome?

Have you reached a plateau in your career with your current employer?
Have you found the last year to be unstimulating and/or sterile?
Do the years look the same?

Many people find themselves in the comfort of the "same old same old". Only, it really isn't comfortable we just convince ourselves that it is. And, given that change can sometimes be difficult- we make excuses to stay where we are even though we are no longer challenged at work.

Our work, our employment, is a significant piece of our lives. It should be empowering, stimulating, positive, life-fulfilling, and rewarding. It is essential that you recognize the signs when this is no longer the case. When that happens you have to be prepared to make a move.

Some of the things you can do:
Speak with your supervisor to see if there is a special project you can take on.
Evaluate your own performance- maybe the lack of stimulation is with you.
Look at the company offerings. Is there something you want?
Survey the industry in which you work. What is out there that excites you?
Evaluate your desire to switch industries. Are you ready? Where do you see yourself?
Update your resume for those opportunities you may want.


Don't stay in a dead end job. Don't let talk of a bad economy hold you back. Stop allowing excuses to rule your years.

Your current job may have served its role in your life. Now, its time to find your next adventure. That adventure may be as simple as a new project at work. Or, it could mean a life-changing switch in your career.

Save Yourself. Turn the TV Off. ... at least more often

One of the things I notice, changing about myself as I age, is my distaste for television and for people who spend hours watching it.

I've been there. I was the little kid who watched a lot of TV. I was the adult that would eat in front of the TV, as a single person living in an apartment. I would occasionally get caught up in sitcoms and drama series and watch as though it was a scheduled part of my day.

Then I realized that year after year the plots changed ever so slightly but I was in the same place. My growth and development, personally and/or professionally, was not enhanced one ounce by spending so much time watching television.

In my Dan Kennedy education I've learned about a quote that I've come to embody, "Poor people have big TVs; Rich people have big libraries." I believe it.

I advocate more reading, more socializing, more walks- less TV. When you do watch TV make it educational or TRUE entertainment once in a while. Don't allow it to take up more time than a part-time job with zero yield.

Advice to Calm the Nerves of a Chair

A business woman emailed me recently. Her email can be summed up as follows, "Help! I’m nervous about an upcoming event I am chairing."

Here was my response:

Without knowing the Chair's responsibilities (for this event) here are my general suggestions:

1. Speak to last years Chair about his/her experiences
2. Have all of the things prepared that you can well before hand (so they don't add worry as the day arrives)
- outfit, makeup, shoes (knowing you'll look fabulous will help you feel great)
- schedule leading up to event (including a wonderful relaxation or celebration period afterwards)
-try to get a hold of event agendas, speeches, names of others involved, etc...
3. Rehearse, Rehearse, Rehearse
4. Build yourself up to the moment/event by reading positive comments about you from others (clients, groups, etc...); listen to music that pumps you up or relaxes you (depending upon what you need); remind yourself that you've been chosen because of who you are (they really appreciate you and your work in the business community)

I believe most nervousness can be relieved by preparing and rehearsing.

You'll be and do great!

Think Ahead.... Planing to Age is Smart

Last year I consulted an attorney to design my will, health care directive and other important life and death documents. I also hired my first financial planner to coach me on the road to financial success. I'm 34.

Some of you may say I'm too young to be concerned with wills and such. I have no children, no husband, etc... However, I do have things that mean the world to me that I want to ensure follow my wishes after I die. And, I care about those who may be here well beyond me- and want this process to be easier on them. What would happen to my house? My book and the rights to it? My family linens? My dogs (aka children)?

And, yes, I know how to do a budget. I understand basic math. However, the financial planner if far more than that. He took the long and short view of my goals, my income, my debt. He created a plan that had multiple variables to consider and far better outcomes than I could have designed on my own. I feel better just having that plan to refer back to as I make financial decisions. And, he holds me accountable as we meet frequently. Something a good coach always does.

These thoughts entered my mind this morning after sharing last evening with a retirement community discussing my book, World War II Radio Heroes. I've been to dozens such communities over the last few months. Some higher quality than the others. As I imagine that one day I might be in one of them I realize how important it is to plan carefully. Its never too early to look decades ahead. But, its often too late when we get around to it.

Plan with confidence. Build your team of supporters (attorneys, financial planners, coaches, doctors, etc...) now for a better future.

Diet and Exercise.... repeat

Humans are typically smart creatures. Why then do we have the knowledge and power to change so many things but we don't. We ignore the prevailing information to stay in our current unhappy and unhealthy state.

Change is sometimes hard work. And, there is always tomorrow right?

I live this everyday myself. I go through moments of great change and then periods where little changes.

How many times do we hear "diet and exercise" are the key to loosing weight and staying healthy? We hear it often. We know its true. But, we still (many of us) fail to put in the work and dedication required to do better in both areas- consistently.

That is where a partner comes in. Having a partner elevates our efforts and helps to keep us motivated (and honest).

A dear friend was gearing up for her nuptials a year ago. She wanted to lose weight. So, we started a friendly little wager- for a nice gift- to see who could loose the most in 2 months. We have the same weaknesses and the same knowledge about what it takes (and neither of us will go extreme routes to win this battle)- so let the game begin. We sent daily logs of what we were eating- and how much. We had weekly weigh-in's. It was great. We connected more than usual. We helped each other tweak our diet and exercise routines. We motivated each other. It proved that having an ally in achieving your goal goes a lot further than doing it alone.

Find a partner in your path to achievement. Challenge a colleague who wants something similar to you. Become a team in making great things happen. And, never stop being smart about what it takes. For health.... its diet and exercise.

Revising the Plans of Life

I can recall being a teenager and laying out some of my future plans. Ironically, college wasn't one of them for this small-town south central PA girl. Falling in love was- to a gorgeous and hard working perfect man. I was also planning to have two children by the time I was 28.

"Wow," is all that I can say when I think back to that plan. Maybe a little "what was I thinking?" too.

Fast forward almost 20 years. I'm 34 (35 next month). I've completed both college and graduate school and have a resume that is 2 pages, condensed. The children never came along. And the perfect man hasn't either. I've realized perfection was a bit far fetched. (smile)

I've watched dear friend realize my original plan. And, I've had the pleasure to live vicariously through them- as they have through me on my very different journey.

I believe planning is great. I think goals drive us to live better. I also believe we can be headed down a path that isn't right for us at times. A wise person will analyze their plan for appropriateness at regular intervals. Is is still the right way to go? Why or why not? Revise when and if necessary.

Don't fail to realize when your path needs readjustments. Don't get caught up in "oh, but for 10 years I've wanted this, so it HAS to happen....". Be smarter than that. Stubbornness and laziness will lead you to fail every time. Don't confuse being driven, goal oriented and focused with being resistant to diversions. A great person who is all of those things also has the ability to revisit the plan, revise and reset the path.

At 34 I dedicated myself to revisiting the more social aspects of my life (versus academic and professional). I'm delighted each day I get to walk in my new path- that came a few decades behind my original plan.

Have fun with your path. Don't take it too seriously that you fail to see the larger pictures.

Email Overload?

"Would you like to join my mailing list?" How often do you hear this?

Worse is when merchants and vendors invite you to join a contest to disguise them adding you to their mailing list. I really hate this. I'd rather you just ask me.

I have two mailing lists- one for my coaching clients and others interested in coaching topics and another for my book fans, World War II Radio Heroes: Letters of Compassion (www.powletters.com). People choose to join them.

Occasionally someone will say, "oh, another list- I can't. I'm overwhelmed with lists and emails and the phone calls...."

Here's my recommendation to clean up your lists:

1. Look at each list that lands in your email for 30 days.
2. Do you even look at the email? If not, opt out (there is opt out instructions within the email, usually at the bottom).
3. What do you gain from the email? If nothing or little, opt out.


When considering joining a new list:

1. Find out if its email, postal mail or telephone calls that you'll receive from being on the list.
2. Is the list shared with like-merchants, vendors?
3. How often will you expect to receive correspondence?
4. What is your goal for being on the list? What do you hope to get out of it? (write it down)
5. When you get it- will you read it? If not, don't join on the assumption that you'll find time to read it someday.

The same guidance above goes for telephone calls that you receive from merchants. If you don't want to receive them anymore, request to be taken off their list (document that call) and ask how you got on their list to begin with (to follow up with other merchants/vendors).

Opting out can be the best thing you do to decrease your overload. Only opt in when you see the benefit to a list- and will take the time to read or enjoy it when it comes out.

A Story of Heartbreak and Dedication

I hope that you got to see the Olympics last evening. In the men’s relay they dropped the baton on one of the passes, thus disqualifying team USA. The heartbreak was written all over Tyson Gay’s face when he realized the pass didn’t happen.

The women’s relay then experienced the same devastation. Lauryn Williams, who failed to accept a pass in the previous Olympics, dropped the baton on the pass. Everyone knew she and the Americans were again disqualified. But, Williams returned to pick it up and then ran to the finish anyway. In her interview she twice said, “I HAD to finish.”

I encourage you to accept and overcome the disappointments that come along with working hard towards your goals. Don’t stop just because it can’t be perfect. Finish what you started. You’ll be glad you did.

Turning Trouble Into Gold

You can't hide from Michael Phelps mania. And, you shouldn't want to. He's a star!

The lesser known story of how he got into swimming, however, is equally fascinating. As a youth, Michael's mom found him to have far more energy than other youth. She couldn't fill his time with the right activities to keep him engaged and satisfied. He was diagnosed with a hyperactivity disorder.

She enrolled him in swim class. Soon after his coach came to her and said he has Olympic potential and he'd (coach) like to work with him more. And, here we are 8 gold medals later.

What I love about this story is not only the hope he gives to all of us for achieving our dreams- but the hope his story gives to us for turning difficulties into vehicles to shine.

What are your challenges? How can you turn them into success?

Do You Believe in the Possibilities?

I hope you all have heard of Dana Torres. She’s won 10 Olympic medals and is participating in her fifth Olympics this year in China. She’s 41. She won one of her gold medals 15 months after giving birth to her first child. At the age of 40 she beat her own American record (twice) for 50 m freestyle, set at the age of 15.

To think she has competed against and beat out swimmers half her age is simply awesome. To see that she has gotten better with age and is able to accomplish feats at 40 she couldn’t do at 15 is extraordinary.

She’s my hero this week. How about yours?

Purging is Sexy!

Whether its clothes, china, office supplies or data- inventory it, clean it up, and throw it out!

You'll feel lighter, more organized and productive moving forward.

How much stuff is in your home or office that you haven't touched in more than 2 years? Get rid of it! Think of it this way, would you pay to have those items stored at $40 a month? If not, get it out of there and into the hands of someone else who will use it or allow it to squat in their space- not yours!

When I assist people in reorganizing their spaces they often are amazed at what we find- they say, "that's where that went!" or "I forgot I had that!". Good. Keep forgetting. Its going in the bin.

Purge different spaces in your home often.

I purge clothing several times a year- if it hasn't been worn it gets a few more weeks of reprieve. If I still don't wear it- it goes in the bin (rubbish bin or donation bin).

I purge office materials twice per year.

Get the family involved. Ask each family member to donate 20% of their clothing or other goods by looking at what they don't use/wear. Its a nice way to be reminded of how much you have and how much you can assist others who have less. And, bonus- you reclaim your space!

Purging is sexy. Now get in there and just do it!

Women and Internships. Stop the madness.

This blog has nothing to do with women taking part in their own internships. Rather, it is about the dozens of women I have known and worked with who take on the nurturing relationships in their firms (running the internship program) without any benefit.

Stop it.

Stop doing things that yield no additional pay, no mention on your performance review (other than a sentence that is NEVER tied to your salary increase or promotion potential).

I work with clients who want to be on top. They want to be the #1 in their company. Guess what? You need to be a little selfish for that position.

I advise them to become a little selfish- for ONE year- and NOT take on their pet projects in the office that don't DIRECTLY relate to their placement on the totem pole.

Focus on you. Focus on your performance in the role you've been hired for and the role/s you WANT.

Ladies, don't become the nurturer, helper, sitter, g0-to for non-essentials, etc.... Unless it is your primary role and the way that you make money. Its a thankless position (most of the time). Its not a top-performer role. It won't get you to #1 in the company.

Stop taking on the internship program because you are a good person- and "somebody has to". Let that somebody be somebody else.

Where is Your Gold Medal?

Will you be watching the 2008 Olympics staring 08/08/2008?

If so, you'll see men and women who are at the peak of their careers going for the gold. They are the best of the best. They've worked many years to get to where they are. The world will be watching them to see if they succeed or miss the mark.

I enjoy the Olympics for that very reason. I love to support others (even if only from my couch in my living room) and cheer them on. I also love the Olympics because of the way it related to my own life. I'm far from being in top physical condition. I've never won physical challenges in my life. However, I have worked ever so hard on things - for years at a time - and had my work culminate in a win or loss in a matter of minutes. I've desperately wanted for things to happen in my life. I've known both success and failure at things that seemed to mean the world to me (at the time).

What would your gold medal be for? What is it that you strive for? What does a win look and feel like for you at this point in your life?

Do you want to have a baby more than anything? Do you want to be more valued at work? Are you struggling to finish a 10-year task?

Make this Olympic period be yours. Decide what gold you are going for. Train for it. Work at it. Develop your cheering section. Make it happen. These sorts of achievements can be once in a lifetime. Go for it!

Do You Take Responsibility for Other People's Actions?

Recently, I've been disturbed by the level of irresponsibility that exists. However, I'm not talking about on an individual level. I hope that we all accept individuals should be responsible for their actions (well, most individuals there are a few exceptions depending upon age and mental capacity). My upset has been more with the powers that oversee individuals, whether it be a company, a governmental agency, etc...

Your employees/contractors/volunteers... represent you. Your employees/contractors/volunteers... represent your company/city/board... Across all pay ranges and all titles you need to make sure these individuals are acting in a manner that you can be proud of (and bank on). YOU are at risk if they are not. Your company/city/board...is at risk if they are not.

You MUST have strong training programs in place (again, at all levels for everyone). You MUST have frequent examinations (by an outside or unknown party) to test that this training has been implemented. And, you MUST take immediate action when you identify an individual that is not upholding the mission, vision, and values of your work. There are no exceptions.

Remember, the smallest most insignificant interaction to you (or your employee) can turn a potential life-long customer/fan to your competitor. And, they will take all of their friends with them.

Is your "house" in order? Make it a priority for the next 90 days. You'll thank me for it.

Let Gas Prices Inspire You

Much of my life is spent in the car. I work from home two days a week but the majority of my work week is zooming around town meeting with clients.

The rising price of gas has inspired me in several ways.

It has spurred me into reviewing how I drive. The result is that now I plan my travel more carefully to include all my errands and meetings in one area on the same day.

It has also shaken me to take a better look at my own wastefulness in all other resource areas. The result is that I am trying to decrease my use of natural resources to only those I need when I need them.

Thirdly, it has fostered me in revisiting my price points for my business. The result is that some prices that include travel have gone up. While pricing for telephone coaching and office visits have gone done (a great benefit to cost conscious clients).

How have gas prices affected your business and your life overall?

I hope that rather than just be mad about the state of things you can look inward to what you can do to manage through these times. The results of such an examination may just enlighten you. I believe it has me.

So, You’re Getting Divorced… now what?

One in two marriages fails. It’s common. It’s no pleasant. And, it’s not your fault.

I say it’s not your fault (although you soon-to-be-ex-spouse might say it is) because there are so many variables in a marriage. There are outside influences as well. These variables and influences are often overwhelming- and over time- people realize that the “matching factors” that were once in place are no longer.

So, your marriage in ending. I’m not here to save that. I leave that to the therapists- and to you and your spouse. What I am here to do is to move you forward into a new beginning. It’s really a rebirth of you- your life as a single person. It’s hard and you should have help. Your friends will help. Your family too. But, I’d encourage you to hire a coach- an independent, outsider, focused solely on you to help you build the life you want, step by step.

As a coach, I help people weekly (daily if necessary) map out what they need to be doing (sometimes doing it with them) and what/how they need to be thinking to get them to their bright tomorrow. And, trust me, tomorrow is bright.

You are not a failure. Your marriage failed. I’m sure you made mistakes- but we all do- in all facets of our lives. That doesn’t make us a failure.

Get ready for your next adventure.

"Smoking Makes You Ugly."

I was a smoker for 13 years. Occasionally, I'd take some heat for smoking. Someone, a "reformed non-smoker", would say something to me to highlight their success of quitting and my lack of doing so. I always hated that- but I did take it to heart.

I tried to quit several times. I went cold turkey. I tried the patches, the gum, you name it... Each time I failed.

In college, I had an English Professor who would always see me smoking before and after her class. She'd come up to me and say, "smoking makes you ugly." She said it jovially but she meant it. Every class day I'd hear this over and over. It meant something to me. It was serving as motivation for the day I was finally ready to quit. That day came for me on February 5, 1998.

Its because of her that I'm writing this blog. Even if I make you a little mad, I hope you'll take to heart what I have to say about smoking and the damage it does to you- and your business or career success.

Smoking does in fact make you ugly. What are the benefits? The detriments include the physical damage it does to you on both the inside and outside; the money you waste each day; the odor; the alienation of coworkers and others; and the lack of self-control (perceived by others).

There has never been more of an anti-smoking society than now. Smokers talk about it all the time. They are being discriminated against for their choice to smoke. They are being pushed out on the streets- no longer able to smoke in their offices and buildings. They aren't even able to smoke on some streets in some cities. Hospital workers and others have to be so many feet off property to smoke. The list of limitations to them increases every year. These limitations spiral into other negative actions and reactions. Here's one: how many times do you hear a non-smoker talk about how many breaks the smoker takes- and how long those breaks are if s/he has to go off grounds? Its only going to get worse.

With many attributes people associate negative feelings. Smoking is one of those attributes. If you smoke everyone knows it. You may think they don't, but they do. It smells. You can attempt to mask it but cigarettes have a very strong smell to them that permeates your clothing, skin and hair. I was recently disgusted, twice, when I was getting a service at a high-end salon and could smell cigarettes on my providers hands. I was paying a fair bit of money for a beauty service only to be inundated with the smell of nicotine. Gross. I have never gone back to that provider. The other situation was when I went into the bathroom at one salon and could tell that someone (a staff member) had been in there, either smoking or was a chronic smoker who just carried the smell with her where ever she went.

We, as a society, are aggressively becoming smoke free- and rather than fight the laws I'd encourage you to quit. It really is that simple. Quit. It will be the best thing you can do for yourself, your family and friends, your business or career and your environment.

My caution to you if you are a smoker who is pitching or providing a service to a non-smoker: Know that your smoking may be a turn-off to them. So much so, that you lose the business. Especially, if they are a "reformed non-smoker" - more than 45 million according to The American Lung Association.

As a coach, I help people quit smoking- but this blog isn't written to promote that. In fact, its not one of my favorite things to do. It gets ugly. I advocate a "tough love" approach to quitting. Smoking disgusts me- perhaps because I was weak to it for so many years. I have become one of those "reformed non-smokers". And, I like it. I can truly breathe better as a result of my decision.

Are You Being Downsized? Now is the time to revisit your life.

More and more often I am meeting people who are announcing their companies have downsized and that they are no longer employed. These individuals span all ages and levels of experience. They are facing a challenging time ahead.

But I argue, they are also facing a wonderful opportunity to rediscover what their passions are. They likely have some time and a little money to hold them over while they revisit the options that are available. They likely are limiting those options by only what they know how to do- specifically, what their old job was.

I encourage them (and you, if this article is about you) to take some time to explore what they REALLY want to do with the next decade of their life. What are their hobbies- can any one of those be made into a vehicle to make money. We’ve always heard people say, “love what you do and do what you love”. They are right. But, sometimes it’s hard to find a way to make that happen. Not impossible, but hard.

It takes a person to step out of their comfort zone a little. Imagine the possibilities (even outside of those that make perfect sense based on your old career). Stretch your imagination even further. Read about people and professions far away from your own. Dare to dream about work that fuels rather than exhausts you.

I chose to leave a lucrative career in Washington DC more than a year ago. I was an established researcher who could easily move around between firms chasing the projects or income I wanted. However, for me, the bigger picture was being lost. I wasn’t delighted with my life in DC. I felt as though everything outside of my career was on hold. I opted to move back to Pittsburgh (a place, one of many, that I had lived a few years prior) and start my own business. I fully prepared myself for the challenges ahead- even though I couldn’t identify them, yet. But, reclaiming me, my life, was so incredible that little else seemed to matter.

My journey over the last year has allowed me to grow more in 12 months than I had in the 5 years prior. What’s that worth to you? To me, it’s priceless.

If you or someone you know is being downsized, encourage them not to jump into the next “same” job they had- unless they LOVED it. Challenge them to take this time to do something bold, brazen, wild- explore them- who they are and want to be-, develop a new plan that includes their passions- and go for it!

Do you Welcome or do you Alienate?

I often talk about some one's "inviting factor" which includes the ways we attract, invite, welcome and include other people.

Today I want to direct your attention to how "welcoming" you or your company is at inviting new hires and ensuring they have a pleasant and productive early experience with you.

How do you attract top talent? (Some companies do a great job at attracting you and post-hire forget to include the welcome wagon.) What do you do for new hires to orient them to you, your company, their teams, the city, etc...? What process do you have in place to ensure they have all that they need to get started on the right foot? Who's in charge of that process? Do you survey them (after hire and at exit) on the orientation and welcome process? You should.

I can tell you from personal experience that less than 10% of companies I've worked for/with and interacted with do a good-to-great job at welcoming new employees. They all think they do- but they don't. Some of the top companies in the world fail to help employees navigate a new city, assign a consultant (not a unmarried employee who is expected to "show them around") to ensure they find everything they need (new house, social activities, etc...), and in general help them to acclimate for the first 90 days.

I encourage you to consider the impression you make on a new hire when you fail to welcome him/her in the best fashion possible. Be the best. Hire the best. And, treat them well. They, in turn, will likely do the same for you.

Are You Interview Ready?

I was listening to National Public Radio (NPR) the other day and they were discussing the number of interviewees who show up dressed inappropriately. It is in fact a huge problem. It prompted me to share some of the things I work with job seeking clients on.

Here are a few essentials:

Why are you targeting your prospective company/position/industry? Nail this down. Win them over with your story on why you want THEM.
Know your strengths and what you’d bring to the table that THEY want. Do your homework by talking to people in the firm. Understand what their model employee looks like (including what skills they have).
Dress for the position. Yes, I know. Your brilliance is not in your dress but in your head. But, at the end of the day you should LOOK like you deserve six figures- or I’d wonder why I’m paying you that.
When it comes time, negotiate your salary and benefits. Ladies, read this again. Negotiate your salary and benefits. Do not accept the first offer. Know your value, industry standards, and their usual pay structure.
Google yourself. They will have done so.

Here are some items that will kill you in an interview:
Talking poorly about your previous or current boss
Being ill prepared (not knowing about their company, people, industry)
Not taking the interview seriously (do you have a pen, notepad or laptop, and are you making them the center of your attention)
Expecting them to ignore your attire or look- or not care
Being too chatty
Dropping your manners
Making immediate friends and telling a non-professional story about yourself
Being too cocky

These things are just the beginning. The basics if you will. If this job is the one you want. Hire a coach. It doesn’t have to be me- just have a right hand in landing this one. Don’t lose it over a few bucks or a poor move that wasn’t planned or executed well.

Good luck. Now, get out there.

Look Your Absolute BEST Today.. and reap the benefits

Why do we always WAIT to be our best?

How many times have you heard someone say, "When I lose 10 lbs, I'm going to..." or "When I get that promotion and raise, I'm going to..."

I say, make today, make NOW, your best and enjoy it as though you are 10 lbs lighter or you have that promotion. Its amazing how when you act like you have it- you get it!

Let me give you an example I see all the time (and you will too if you just look out for it):

I'm in a cafe (swap out store of any kind, street in anywhere USA, you get the point) and I see a beautiful woman. She has on a gorgeous piece of jewelry or is dressed to kill (no matter the hour) and has a smile on her face. She takes great pride in what she looks like and treats herself well. Do you have an image? Describe her yourself.

Now, how much does she weigh? What is her title? It doesn't matter! The point is she's a knock out and she knows it. She took the body she had this morning upon waking up and dressed it up. She then added a splash of great attitude and an award-winning smile. She gets it! And, so do I.

I happen to be sporting 2 very unsightly blemishes as I type. I have plateaued in my weight loss (down 50+ pounds in 2 years) and need to lose at least 20 more. But, I don't care. Not today. Those "issues" don't make "me". On the plus side, I have an outstanding pedicure, an outfit that makes me shine .. and I still treat everyone like rock stars (even the man who parks my car). That makes "me".

I encourage you to treat yourself today to one piece of clothing, jewelry, a seminar, a book ... something that will make you feel like a million bucks. Wear it, read it, say it proudly and worry more about dressing up what you have than gaining or losing what you don't.

Look for someone gorgeous around you and compliment them. It comes back. It always does.

Enjoy today. Enjoy YOU.

Let's talk or rather THINK WASTE

As you know, I often use my blog to share my own thoughts of the week. This is one of those blogs.

This week I've had a number of enlightening moments. I've thought more about the bigger picture than just the day to day, ins and outs of my workweek. I try to build this reflection time into my time, often. After all, many of my clients come to me because they want to focus on the bigger picture rather than the day to day affairs.

One of this week's epiphanies came when I thought about the many environmental issues in the news and on many of our minds. I don't' consider myself an environmentalists. I never really thought about labeling myself in that regard. But, I can see the draw. I respect the movement and what it hopes to do.

I thought about my own waste. (I often work with people on wasted time or energy.) I realized that I produce an average amount of waste (garbage) for the households on my block. But, it still is too much. I thought back to the landfill photos I've seen in my life. I asked myself, "if the garbage you put out each week (for the waste management staff to pick up) had to remain in your backyard for 3 months (let alone 3 years!), how would that change what you throw away?" It would significantly change the way I viewed garbage. I decided that I need to be more cognizant of what I discard, where it is going and how long it will have to be there.

This thought process then took me to the tiny things I can do in my own home to reduce my waste. For instance, I use paper over, until both sides are used/printed on. (Because I do like to print things to read- and haven't yet gotten in the habit of only reading on the computer screen.) I also use the library more often to borrow rather than own many of my reading materials, music cds, and movies. And, I pay attention to water usage in my home- in all ways and attempt to reduce water consumption.

The list could go on but I have to now get in the car and drive to an appointment (and yes, I've also rethought my driving routines).

I encourage you to think about the bigger picture this week. Any picture. Just think outside your day to day life and ponder something. Then, share your thoughts with someone and have a discussion about it.

Thanks for allowing me to share my thoughts via this blog. Remember, your coach is also a normal gal who has experiences like the rest of you.

Start with the Family

When you have a big decision to make, where do you turn?

Many of us turn to our families, partners, spouses, etc....

Companies too have recognized the importance of involving families in life's decisions. They often invite families to tour their facilities and become more involved in the employees work life. They realize that a happy and healthy family often equates to a happier and more productive employee - who may stay longer than a few years.

Companies also involve families in promotional decisions, restructuring, etc...- because they are already involved at home during "dinner-table talk". They realize that involving spouses and partners in the discussion early on will foster a better outcome (no matter what the decision).

I believe the military was one of the pioneers in this process of involving families to foster a more satisfied home-work environment. They have had groups for spouses and families for decades to support and encourage more familial involvement in the culture of the workforce. Companies are now refining this process to suit their own needs- and that of their employees.

So, if you hire, fire, restructure, etc... remember to involve the family behind the employee. They'll help to make the transition more successful- and your company will shine for it!

To Pantyhose or Not to Pantyhose?

Do you remember the chaos incited by the young women who wore flip flops to the White House? Well, there is an equal yet more career damning discussing underway- and has been underway for some time via whispers in the office. Should professional women have to wear pantyhose in the office? (The "have to" isn't meant to denote a written rule mind you.)

The issue has a number of strong opponents and proponents. One class you might not realize is that of our senior women in the workplace. Many of whom couldn't fathom a more unladylike issue pertaining to attire. (Well, they could really. But for the sake of this argument lets remain focused.)

Generational differences between working women can cause havoc in the workplace. Especially, if one of the seniors happens to be in charge of your performance evaluation- or have the ear of the person who is.

Dress, language, vehicle of correspondence (email versus formal letters- and don't mention mobile device "overuse or abuse"!) and aggressiveness (sometimes called assertiveness) are some of the areas where our senior and younger generations conflict.

The answer to wearing pantyhose in your workplace is ultimately up to you. I encourage you to (1) know yourself (2) know your boss/es (3) know your customers (4) recognize the workplace climate do's and don'ts (and consequences for not following them) and (5) talk with fellow employees about the issue (youth and seniors alike) to get their feedback.

The larger issue at hand here is opening the lines of communication between our senior and youth colleagues. Develop mentor programs that pair them up and foster healthy dialogue about workplace issues. Its like a good marriage, it may be spiked with a little conflict here and there but its all in how you handle the conflict that matters. Respect has to be a two-way street for it to work well.

For your information (FYI)- as a coach, business owner and confident woman, I choose to go pantyhose-free during the warm months. And, I never wear them with pants. In fact, I wear more pants in the colder months to avoid the circulation-denying, rubber band-ed-ness, itchy issue all together. ;)

Not Everyone Likes You: Get over it

In a perfect world we'd like everyone to like us and buy our products or services (or hire us). However, as intelligent beings with some business and life experiences, we know this isn't the case.

People like us for different reasons. People will take interest in our product, service (or want to hire us) for different reasons. People are finicky.

You can control 9 out of 10 variables that make people like you. But you can't control them all. You also can't gage exactly what each customer, boss, spouse, etc.. will want at every given moment. You can do well in your guessing. But, don't aim for perfection. You'll be sorely disappointed.

Don't weigh your success on everyone liking you or buying what you have to offer. Weigh your success on your accomplishments, your testimonials from those you work with and for, your attitude and your value to those you aim to serve.

I'll give you a loose example:

I just received (June 2008) my first less-than-stellar book review since publishing in December 2007. At first, by nature, I was put off. But 30 seconds later I laughed out loud. What kind of author would I be or what kind of book would I have WITHOUT at least one bad review? It wouldn't be real without at least one! I felt as though I had arrived as an author. The review brought me to a place I had not been- it made me feel something. These non-fans keep it real for us.

Do what you do- for you and for a very targeted audience. What you do is not for EVERYONE. Let's leave that work to the politicians.

Say NO to Quitting via Email

I was meeting with a referral partner this morning who commented about employees leaving jobs via email notification. What?

Is it ever a good idea to send an email to your boss saying, "I'm quitting."

No. The answer is absolutely no.

What were you thinking? Why do people believe this avoidance of confrontation and lack of professionalism approach is acceptable- ever?

Can you call up your last three bosses and have a friendly genuine chat with them? If not, lets talk.

Sure there might have been a bad boss along the way who didn't deserve proper and professional notice- but you owe it to yourself to be bigger than that. Your reputation stands on the line in this situation. Your reputation is one of the greatest assets you have. Don't lose it over your need to make a quick line to the exit.

Do the right thing.

Quit with style, integrity -keep your professional demeanor.

Email is NOT good for some things. This is one of them.

Call or email me before your exit- don't make the situation worse. You ARE smarter than that!

"I can't tie my shoes, but I have a great memory!"

I am rarely at a loss for words.

The other day I was giving a talk at a retirement home, on my book World War II Radio Heroes: Letters of Compassion (2008). There were two "Spahr's" there. Wow. I've not met any other Spahr's in the Pittsburgh area until then. But my surprise didn't end there.

The lady of the pair took my breath away after my talk, as a few of us were conversing. She was born premature, 2 lbs in fact; lives with cerebral palsy; lost all of her family members with one exception; and has been in a wheelchair all of her life. But her mind, is as sharp as a tack!

I commented on her memory at one point as she mentioned someone else's birthday (in a facility with more than 100 people!) and she said, "I can't tie my shoes, but I have a great memory!" And, on her cue we all laughed.

This woman is ON! She's GOT IT! She has greater spirit than most people I meet on a daily basis. She has not allowed any handicap to hinder her life or the quality of her life. I learned so much from her in a mere hour.

She is happily married and has found wonder and amazement in each moment in life. She takes nothing for granted.

Wow. What an amazing woman! If I can be half that in this lifetime I'll be satisfied!

Who have you learned a valuable lesson from lately?

Visit a retirement center near you today! Take the kids! You'll be amazed at what you learn.

Don't Volunteer Your Business Away

Last week I had the honor of being a panelist at a seminar titled "Getting Paid What You're Worth". The seminar was sponsored by the Pittsburgh Professional Women organization.

Women, much more than men, appear to have greater difficultly limiting their "freebies", volunteering and other give-aways. By default we are nurturers, givers and the ones to sacrifice when necessary. But, once we put on a business hat we have to redefine ourselves.

Saying no to others is a great start to saying yes to you and your business. Say that out loud. Saying no to others is a great start to saying yes to you and your business.

Here are three tips:

• Limit your volunteering. (I only volunteer for one effort at a time. If its a year commitment- then I don't volunteer for anything else during that year.)
• Limit your freebies to those that are likely to REALLY lead to future work and GREAT connections. (Identify what a freebie is and keep them tightly managed.)
• Make sure you are spending the majority of your time doing what you are good at, loving it and GETTING PAID FOR IT. If not, its time for a critical analysis of your business and your strategies.