Look Your Absolute BEST Today.. and reap the benefits

Why do we always WAIT to be our best?

How many times have you heard someone say, "When I lose 10 lbs, I'm going to..." or "When I get that promotion and raise, I'm going to..."

I say, make today, make NOW, your best and enjoy it as though you are 10 lbs lighter or you have that promotion. Its amazing how when you act like you have it- you get it!

Let me give you an example I see all the time (and you will too if you just look out for it):

I'm in a cafe (swap out store of any kind, street in anywhere USA, you get the point) and I see a beautiful woman. She has on a gorgeous piece of jewelry or is dressed to kill (no matter the hour) and has a smile on her face. She takes great pride in what she looks like and treats herself well. Do you have an image? Describe her yourself.

Now, how much does she weigh? What is her title? It doesn't matter! The point is she's a knock out and she knows it. She took the body she had this morning upon waking up and dressed it up. She then added a splash of great attitude and an award-winning smile. She gets it! And, so do I.

I happen to be sporting 2 very unsightly blemishes as I type. I have plateaued in my weight loss (down 50+ pounds in 2 years) and need to lose at least 20 more. But, I don't care. Not today. Those "issues" don't make "me". On the plus side, I have an outstanding pedicure, an outfit that makes me shine .. and I still treat everyone like rock stars (even the man who parks my car). That makes "me".

I encourage you to treat yourself today to one piece of clothing, jewelry, a seminar, a book ... something that will make you feel like a million bucks. Wear it, read it, say it proudly and worry more about dressing up what you have than gaining or losing what you don't.

Look for someone gorgeous around you and compliment them. It comes back. It always does.

Enjoy today. Enjoy YOU.

Let's talk or rather THINK WASTE

As you know, I often use my blog to share my own thoughts of the week. This is one of those blogs.

This week I've had a number of enlightening moments. I've thought more about the bigger picture than just the day to day, ins and outs of my workweek. I try to build this reflection time into my time, often. After all, many of my clients come to me because they want to focus on the bigger picture rather than the day to day affairs.

One of this week's epiphanies came when I thought about the many environmental issues in the news and on many of our minds. I don't' consider myself an environmentalists. I never really thought about labeling myself in that regard. But, I can see the draw. I respect the movement and what it hopes to do.

I thought about my own waste. (I often work with people on wasted time or energy.) I realized that I produce an average amount of waste (garbage) for the households on my block. But, it still is too much. I thought back to the landfill photos I've seen in my life. I asked myself, "if the garbage you put out each week (for the waste management staff to pick up) had to remain in your backyard for 3 months (let alone 3 years!), how would that change what you throw away?" It would significantly change the way I viewed garbage. I decided that I need to be more cognizant of what I discard, where it is going and how long it will have to be there.

This thought process then took me to the tiny things I can do in my own home to reduce my waste. For instance, I use paper over, until both sides are used/printed on. (Because I do like to print things to read- and haven't yet gotten in the habit of only reading on the computer screen.) I also use the library more often to borrow rather than own many of my reading materials, music cds, and movies. And, I pay attention to water usage in my home- in all ways and attempt to reduce water consumption.

The list could go on but I have to now get in the car and drive to an appointment (and yes, I've also rethought my driving routines).

I encourage you to think about the bigger picture this week. Any picture. Just think outside your day to day life and ponder something. Then, share your thoughts with someone and have a discussion about it.

Thanks for allowing me to share my thoughts via this blog. Remember, your coach is also a normal gal who has experiences like the rest of you.

Start with the Family

When you have a big decision to make, where do you turn?

Many of us turn to our families, partners, spouses, etc....

Companies too have recognized the importance of involving families in life's decisions. They often invite families to tour their facilities and become more involved in the employees work life. They realize that a happy and healthy family often equates to a happier and more productive employee - who may stay longer than a few years.

Companies also involve families in promotional decisions, restructuring, etc...- because they are already involved at home during "dinner-table talk". They realize that involving spouses and partners in the discussion early on will foster a better outcome (no matter what the decision).

I believe the military was one of the pioneers in this process of involving families to foster a more satisfied home-work environment. They have had groups for spouses and families for decades to support and encourage more familial involvement in the culture of the workforce. Companies are now refining this process to suit their own needs- and that of their employees.

So, if you hire, fire, restructure, etc... remember to involve the family behind the employee. They'll help to make the transition more successful- and your company will shine for it!

To Pantyhose or Not to Pantyhose?

Do you remember the chaos incited by the young women who wore flip flops to the White House? Well, there is an equal yet more career damning discussing underway- and has been underway for some time via whispers in the office. Should professional women have to wear pantyhose in the office? (The "have to" isn't meant to denote a written rule mind you.)

The issue has a number of strong opponents and proponents. One class you might not realize is that of our senior women in the workplace. Many of whom couldn't fathom a more unladylike issue pertaining to attire. (Well, they could really. But for the sake of this argument lets remain focused.)

Generational differences between working women can cause havoc in the workplace. Especially, if one of the seniors happens to be in charge of your performance evaluation- or have the ear of the person who is.

Dress, language, vehicle of correspondence (email versus formal letters- and don't mention mobile device "overuse or abuse"!) and aggressiveness (sometimes called assertiveness) are some of the areas where our senior and younger generations conflict.

The answer to wearing pantyhose in your workplace is ultimately up to you. I encourage you to (1) know yourself (2) know your boss/es (3) know your customers (4) recognize the workplace climate do's and don'ts (and consequences for not following them) and (5) talk with fellow employees about the issue (youth and seniors alike) to get their feedback.

The larger issue at hand here is opening the lines of communication between our senior and youth colleagues. Develop mentor programs that pair them up and foster healthy dialogue about workplace issues. Its like a good marriage, it may be spiked with a little conflict here and there but its all in how you handle the conflict that matters. Respect has to be a two-way street for it to work well.

For your information (FYI)- as a coach, business owner and confident woman, I choose to go pantyhose-free during the warm months. And, I never wear them with pants. In fact, I wear more pants in the colder months to avoid the circulation-denying, rubber band-ed-ness, itchy issue all together. ;)

Not Everyone Likes You: Get over it

In a perfect world we'd like everyone to like us and buy our products or services (or hire us). However, as intelligent beings with some business and life experiences, we know this isn't the case.

People like us for different reasons. People will take interest in our product, service (or want to hire us) for different reasons. People are finicky.

You can control 9 out of 10 variables that make people like you. But you can't control them all. You also can't gage exactly what each customer, boss, spouse, etc.. will want at every given moment. You can do well in your guessing. But, don't aim for perfection. You'll be sorely disappointed.

Don't weigh your success on everyone liking you or buying what you have to offer. Weigh your success on your accomplishments, your testimonials from those you work with and for, your attitude and your value to those you aim to serve.

I'll give you a loose example:

I just received (June 2008) my first less-than-stellar book review since publishing in December 2007. At first, by nature, I was put off. But 30 seconds later I laughed out loud. What kind of author would I be or what kind of book would I have WITHOUT at least one bad review? It wouldn't be real without at least one! I felt as though I had arrived as an author. The review brought me to a place I had not been- it made me feel something. These non-fans keep it real for us.

Do what you do- for you and for a very targeted audience. What you do is not for EVERYONE. Let's leave that work to the politicians.

Say NO to Quitting via Email

I was meeting with a referral partner this morning who commented about employees leaving jobs via email notification. What?

Is it ever a good idea to send an email to your boss saying, "I'm quitting."

No. The answer is absolutely no.

What were you thinking? Why do people believe this avoidance of confrontation and lack of professionalism approach is acceptable- ever?

Can you call up your last three bosses and have a friendly genuine chat with them? If not, lets talk.

Sure there might have been a bad boss along the way who didn't deserve proper and professional notice- but you owe it to yourself to be bigger than that. Your reputation stands on the line in this situation. Your reputation is one of the greatest assets you have. Don't lose it over your need to make a quick line to the exit.

Do the right thing.

Quit with style, integrity -keep your professional demeanor.

Email is NOT good for some things. This is one of them.

Call or email me before your exit- don't make the situation worse. You ARE smarter than that!

"I can't tie my shoes, but I have a great memory!"

I am rarely at a loss for words.

The other day I was giving a talk at a retirement home, on my book World War II Radio Heroes: Letters of Compassion (2008). There were two "Spahr's" there. Wow. I've not met any other Spahr's in the Pittsburgh area until then. But my surprise didn't end there.

The lady of the pair took my breath away after my talk, as a few of us were conversing. She was born premature, 2 lbs in fact; lives with cerebral palsy; lost all of her family members with one exception; and has been in a wheelchair all of her life. But her mind, is as sharp as a tack!

I commented on her memory at one point as she mentioned someone else's birthday (in a facility with more than 100 people!) and she said, "I can't tie my shoes, but I have a great memory!" And, on her cue we all laughed.

This woman is ON! She's GOT IT! She has greater spirit than most people I meet on a daily basis. She has not allowed any handicap to hinder her life or the quality of her life. I learned so much from her in a mere hour.

She is happily married and has found wonder and amazement in each moment in life. She takes nothing for granted.

Wow. What an amazing woman! If I can be half that in this lifetime I'll be satisfied!

Who have you learned a valuable lesson from lately?

Visit a retirement center near you today! Take the kids! You'll be amazed at what you learn.