Be Responsible for the Energy You Bring

As I was reading an interview with Oprah, she mentioned reading about a woman who had a stroke (I believe) and put a sign up on the door saying, "Be responsible for the energy you bring into this room." I stopped in my tracks. I love this saying and I've said it, albeit in various ways, for many years. The woman was in recovery and had lost some of her senses while heightening others. She could feel the energy others were bringing into the room. Many times they (the nurses) were just buying time until it was time to leave. Sometimes they were moody or in a rush, paying little attention to the patient or her well being.

I have often advised my clients to take inventory of who and what they surround themselves with. And without apology I have advised them to reconsider having people in their lives who are always negative, downers, takers, drama queens and kings, pessimistic, etc... you get my point. I also encourage them to be mindful of what they read, view and do. If you surround yourself with death and destruction its hard to be wildly optimistic and visionary about your or anyone else's future.

I have done the same in my life. I take great care in who and what I surround myself with. I have asked on more than one occasion, "do you have anything positive to tell me?" I've called on the carpet those people, former friends, who always call and always have negative things to talk about. They gossip. Their lives are a mess. They are done wrong by everyone. And, now they can add me to the list. Good bye.

When I was pregnant I hired an energy worker to do reiki on me and my baby. It was a wonderful twice a week experience. Energy is powerful. Be mindful of it. Allow it to foster your goals. And, recognize it when it is detrimental- and get rid of it or who ever is embodying it.

I Am Me. I Am Okay.

This poem was introduced to me in 1993 when I was in college. It has remained a part of my life (both physically – a poster in my private space – and mentally- a poem for which I believe every word). I hope it inspires you also- to be your absolute best every day. – Lisa Spahr


My Declaration of Self-Esteem

by Virginia Satir

I AM ME


In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me

Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine

Because I alone chose it - I own everything about me

My body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions,

Whether they be to others or to myself - I own my fantasies,

My dreams, my hopes, my fears - I own all my triumphs and

Successes, all my failures and mistakes Because I own all of

Me, I can become intimately acquainted with me - by so doing

I can love me and be friendly with me in all my parts - I know

There are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other

Aspects that I do not know - but as long as I am

Friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously

And hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles

And for ways to find out more about me - However I

Look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever

I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically

Me - If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought

And felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is

Unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that

Which I discarded - I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do

I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be

Productive to make sense and order out of the world of

People and things outside of me - I own me, and

therefore I can engineer me - I am me and



I AM OKAY

© Virginia Satir, 1975.

Get on the Treadmill and Hit Incline!

I didn't want to like her. I'm talking about Oprah. My mom likes her enough for all of us. "Oprah this and Oprah that...". I think she's her #1 fan. Besides, most of what Oprah preaches I teach myself as a coach. No need to overdo it I tell myself. Okay, so 100% honesty and confession would tell you that I'm just plain jealous. Why don't I have a television show? Oprah has become Barbie. Do you know that humorous bumper sticker that says, "I want to be Barbie. That B*&%$ has everything!" That's how I feel about Oprah. Although I'd never use the B word to describe her. I think she's almost saintly.

But I was on a weekend retreat last weekend. I needed to prepare for a speech (which I've since cancelled in the chaos of what my schedule has become), catch up on tons of reading and do some writing. I picked up Oprah's magazine because I thought some of the articles may inspire my remarks for the talk. I read the magazine cover to cover (and mom if you are reading this, it is NOT an invitation for a year-long subscription, nothing would pain me more). There were several articles or moments in articles, I should say, that spoke to me. You'll read about a few of them in upcoming blogs. In this one I just want to highlight the story on Everest.

A young girl won an essay contest and earned a trip to the base camp at Everest. Wow. Let that sink in for a minute. The caveat was that one of her parents had to escort her. Her mom assumed that would be her dad. He couldn't go because he couldn't get his passport in time. So mom, who wasn't in Everest-shape, joined the gym with only one month to train. Read that again. She had only 30-days to train for a climb to the base camp at Mount Everest! (Contrast that with my own experience of training for a relay in a marathon! I trained for several months!) Taken from the magazine word for word, "she joined the YMCA and set the treadmill on 'incline'". I read this sentence a couple times. I laughed out loud at the simplicity and absurdity of the whole thing. She was one of my new heroes. Not Oprah (that love/hate fest will continue) but this woman who climbed to Everest's base camp just because her daughter wanted to and had won the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to do so.

What a great story. Thanks Oprah. (I say with my head down, quietly, while moving my foot back and forth on the floor like a child who just received a gift from the girl they didn't like in class.)

I'm going to put my treadmill on incline when I get it and think of this courageous woman!

You're a Winner! Part II

You have your exhausted list of how you would spend your mad loot from your big winnings. Now, take a hard look at that list and tell me why you can't do every line item you have, .... are you ready.... with your current money? Yes, I said it. I believe you can do at least 75% of the items on your "I'm a huge winner and have more money than I can ever spend list" now with your current salary, whether it be $10,000 or $150,000.

The amount should be up for discussion but not the item that you want to put money toward. For instance, if you wanted to "help a friend" on your mad money list, you were probably talking about thousands of dollars, perhaps even hundreds of thousands. Why not help a friend with an extra hundred dollars this year or better yet, do some sweat equity and help them with chores or projects around their home.

Another example, if you had "pay off debt" on your list, keep it on there and adjust the timeline for having it paid in full. Pay an extra $25 or $250 (whatever you can do) toward your debt each month.

Final example, if you had something like "start a scholarship fund" on your list, I encourage you to find a scholarship that you can contribute to or identify a needy student and contribute to help him/her with books (which can cost hundreds of dollars each semester).

You don't have to be a huge lottery winner to live large and do what you want. You just have to be committed, make your list and then find ways to honor it.

Happy spending. (and saving)

You're a Winner! Part I

So this week more than a few of you began fantasizing about winning millions upon millions of dollars. At least two lucky people, one a retiree in Washington and another in Idaho, had that dream become reality.

But let's think this through a little for a fun exercise. Let's imagine it was you who won the big score. What would you do with it. Seriously, make a list of what you'd do with that kind of money. Then, prioritize that list by what order you'd use the cash.

Now I'm going to assume you've lined up the attorney, financial planner, accountant, etc.. and the other professionals you'll need to manage such a huge win. Let's get to the fun part of the spending (or saving).

For example my list might begin:
1. Payoff all debt
2. Put money in a retirement fund or investments (long-term)
3. Identify some fun money to do something nice for myself and my family (a nice vacation for instance)
4. Give money to charity and the church for charitable giving
5. Help a friend out
6. Develop a scholarship fund
....

Make an exhaustive list. Spend about fifteen minutes on this and then check back for Part II in the coming days. The fun continues.