Let's talk about love!

As Valentine's Day approaches I felt the need to explore love and partnering.

I often have discussions with friends about our age of internet dating. Has it made dating easier or harder? What has it done for the concept of dating, mating, falling in love and living in the proverbial happily ever after? I think that we all know someone that has fallen madly in love via the keyboard but we also know many more who have tried every online dating site known to man and still sit at home alone on Fridays.

As a woman, as a coach, and as a person who has done all of the above (minus the happily ever after- which is still to come I hope) I have to caution people to first examine what they are looking for, why and how will they proceed to find what they are looking for.

Do you want a date, a spouse, a friend, or a romp in the hay? You likely want a combination of them.

Ask yourself:

• How are you presenting yourself?
• Why do you make a good friend, lover or date?
• Where are you looking?
• What criterion are you using to find Mr/Ms. Right, Friend, Lover, or other?
• Why is that criterion important to you?
• Are you missing out on living life because you are so busy looking for someone to share it with?

My recommendations:

• Do the things YOU love.
• Get off the couch. Get away from the desk. GET OUT THERE!
• Don't put all of your eggs in one basket. Like your portfolio- DIVERSIFY!
• Be OPEN to meeting people and doing new things.
• Be INVITING to others.
• Take good care of YOURSELF. (When is the last time you bought yourself something new and sexy?)
• Let people know you are in the MARKET for love! (Networking works in this arena too!)
• Get to KNOW 5 people around you. Ask them where and how they met their love.
• Go on one date a week- even if its not with the PERFECT person. YOU aren't perfect for them either. (Yeah, I said it!)
• RE-EXAMINE what you are looking for. What do you want in the next year for yourself? Does s/he fit in that vision? Why or why not?
• LAUGH more.
• ASK others more about themselves.
• TRY to find commonalities you have with others.
• Be NICE.
• Remember that BARBIE and KEN are PLASTIC.

My next blog will be about how to tell if s/he is a great lover. Tune in! ;)

Happy V-Day to all of you- lovers and singles alike.

Your coach in love.

Lisa Spahr

First Impressions- They Matter!

You’re busy right? Too busy to make the right first impression on people?

If someone were to see you coming and going from your home, mid-day having lunch (or a café latte) or closing the day near dinner time- what would they see? Recognize that what they see dictates their impression of who you are- and how well you might be doing your job (or not).

Most people want others to see them as attractive, “put together”, organized, smart, and more than capable of performing their job. Would someone see those attributes if they peeked into your car? Your home? Your office? Keep in mind, these areas are simply extensions of who you are …and they matter!

Pull yourself together! Wash your car! Clean up your home and office! Buy a new wardrobe- one that is in this decade! If you are too busy, pay someone else to do it!

You’ll be better for it- and the impression people have about you will start to improve. Unless, you like being the “great guy but what a mess he is” kind of person. Very few people want to do business with a sloppy or disorganized person. Unconsciously and consciously we link sloppiness and disorganization with an inability to do one’s job WELL.

This impression also includes the way we speak, pay attention, and generally interact with others. But, let’s just get started with the simple stuff.