Are Your Employees Ready to be Busy?

My husband and I go to the same bagel shop every weekend. Sometimes, both weekend mornings. And, sometimes we even go for coffee on a weekday. We really enjoy the place. We grab our usual seats by the window and settle in for an hour or longer.

The food and service are usually pretty consistent. Random times we have to wonder if our bagels were really toasted or if we gave them the wrong order- resulting in a little different outcome than we expected. (smile) But, we grin and roll with it. We are very agreeable customers- at least I think so.

This morning, however, was “one to take the cake or bagel” so to speak. It was wildly busy (which does happen during every shift). We stood in line for about 15 minutes. No big deal. We were up for it. I said my usual, “hello” to the new-ish clerk behind the counter when she looked up at us in exhaustion. I got a tepid “hi” back. She took our order and I sensed trouble. She didn’t seem as familiar with the system as the seasoned clerks we know so well.

15-20 minutes later my bagel came out. By itself. It did not accompany my potatoes nor was my husband’s meal in sight. 10 minutes later, my husband inquired as my bagel sat quietly cooling to room temp, loosing the lovely gooiness that the peanut butter possesses on a warm one. “It’s coming,” the newbie said before he opened his mouth. He sat back down. 10 minutes later he inquired again. “It’s coming.” Finally we saw it across the room. My potatoes still missing in action. Later they emerged- cool to the touch. While my husband was up at the counter asking them to toast his 40+ minute late meal, I was quickly behind him with my potatoes. Now I was perturbed. It took 5 minutes for anyone to pay any attention but when they did I asked for a fresh batch of potatoes- and ones without a foreign object (a mushroom or piece of meat) in them. I think she rolled her eyes.

I could go on with the story but I’ll spare you as I had hoped to be spared myself.

The gist is that even loyal customers are not going to forgive bad service. TRAIN YOUR STAFF to recognize busy atmospheres from a customer’s perspective. They pay the same price and expect the same consistency in service and food quality. They pay more in fact, because they are willing to wait in lines and wait a little longer for HOT food.

We understand the stress level is higher during busy times. We know you are working hard. But, we are still your customers. We do have the right to expect a few things from you- even when you are busy.

I really wanted to say, “I am really sorry that you are so busy.” But, I don’t know that any of them would have gotten the real meaning of my statement.

We’ll find another favorite. Thanks. I take my money too seriously to tolerate bad service and bad food.

Workplace and Off Hours Ethics- They do matter!

This week I’ve been quoted in the Examiner, twice, on workplace ethics issues. First, was the article discussing the support Roman Polanski has received for his hide and seek role in a rape case from the 1970’s. The conversation then generalized to non-famous employees and others who behave badly off hours.

See these links for both articles:
http://www.examiner.com/x-13521-SF-Workplace-Communication-Examiner~y2009m10d4-Roman-Polanski-supporters-Who-cares-about-rape-Hes-great-at-his-job
http://www.examiner.com/x-13521-SF-Workplace-Communication-Examiner~y2009m10d5-Should-your-private-life-affect-your-career

Here’s an excerpt from an email I sent the writer, Kenya McCullum.

… Professionals should have personal lives but they need to be accountable to their constituents, customers, bosses, companies, etc... and conduct their personal lives accordingly. Look at all of the political scandals that result from affairs. Look at today's news piece on Letterman admitting affairs that someone tried to extort him for. Look at teachers who behave like teenagers- with teenagers. Yes, we should hold certain professions and professionals to a high standard. How would you want a police officer to act off duty?

Integrity and professional conduct are becoming the only hallmarks a good resume needs to feature. Skills are taking a backseat. Want ads should ask" honest wo/men wanted".

Crime is an altogether another animal to open some great discussion. When is it ok to fire an employee who commits a crime (and what level of criminal behavior would be acceptable)? These are great questions. More companies are getting into ethical and legal considerations than ever before- and I think they should be.

Enjoy your life- but be careful to choose a profession that allows you to enjoy it to the extent and in the ways you want. Don't jeopardize your fellow employees and company's reputation. They deserve more than that.

Join me at VASP in Pittsburgh Friday October 9th

I am pleased and honored to be a featured speaker at this year's Volunteer Administrators of Southwestern Pennsylvania's conference. I will be speaking on motivation- how to do it for yourself and your employees (whether they are paid or not).

I usually talk about time management, stress reduction and goal achievement, so this will be a welcome change of pace. I'll talk about motivation through storytelling- sharing some well known leaders of motivation as well as those stories closer and more intimate to me. I'm expecting some great energy- from the talk as well as the conference as a whole.

Think about what motivates you. When is the last time you felt wildly compelled to DO SOMETHING? What were the driving forces?

Also consider, how would you motivate others to help you achieve your current mission/s?

Boy, is She Annoying?

I recently watched a well-known, and I believe well-loved, talk show host and chef on her daily show. I must have been a captive victim, in an airplane or something. The situation is escaping me. As you know I don’t watch much television and I certainly don’t make it a daily chore to watch anything consistently- except the Office.

Wow. I found her to be outrageous! She was so very offensive to her audience (I hope they realized it… or maybe I don’t, ignorance can be joy to some). She was attempting to multi-task (cook and take questions) and was doing it poorly. Her inability to do so made her responses short and insulting. Let me give you an example:

(audience member) Q: XXX, I really love your show. I struggle to make risotto. I find it so hard. What is your secret?

(host) A: Risotto is not hard. There is nothing to it. 20 minutes on the fire with constant stirring and steady addition of the risotto is all.

Do you see what I see? Someone told her that they struggle with something and that they find it hard (they emphasized their challenge) and she told them they were wrong. It’s easy. Look at me! Ugh.

The other offense she made was not allowing guests to ask their questions completely. She cut them off about 10 words in- every time. Mind you, she never cut them off when they were singing praises about her. Outrageous. I understand TV is on a timeline between commercials but that is something you control for in other ways. Allowing the host to look rude and insult is only acceptable if that is the show you are running (and sadly there are those shows out there).
Some people are a long winded and their question is quite intelligent and complex- they need more than 10 words to get there!

I’m saddened, but not surprised, that someone that seems annoyed by her guests, is arrogant and offensive has her own show, magazine, etc… She clearly has a following.

Unfortunately this happens, we fall in love with someone and we try to remain true to that love no matter what they do to us. We want to still love them. But, at some point we have to open our eyes and witness it from today’s perspective. Not 10 years ago. Maybe they once were great to us (and themselves). And, now maybe they are just great to themselves. Time to find another love.

Today’s blog is to remind us to live with our eyes open, with a perspective of today and the future. The past is the past. Don’t allow it to dictate your today or your tomorrow.

Also, be mindful when you’ve lost your own way and are no longer delivering the quality of care others deserve (in your work or your home life). Be your best- every day. Don’t slack off. You may find yourself without a fan base if you do.

Sensitivity. Does anybody have any anymore?

Recently I was at the doctor’s office. I was there to have a second ultrasound to examine a cyst on my ovary. Later that day I was to have a biopsy on some tissue in my cervix- an altogether unrelated issue but ultimately tragic as far as timing goes. What a day!

All of that I could deal with. The trouble came when I walked into the ultrasound office to be surrounded by pregnant women, photos of babies (hundreds of them) on the wall and an air of family planning. What a great place this would be for those expecting. Not such a great place for those trying to conceive who are having difficulty (and I don’t consider myself in this class). Not a great place to be as you contemplate cancer which may interfere with your reproduction possibilities in the future.

This experience brings me to the topic of sensitivity. Professionally we owe it to our clients and those who encounter our business or work within it. Personally, we should strive to deliver it in our daily lives. But, how does one acquire sensitivity? Do we know when we are being insensitive, absent someone telling us?

Here are three keys to becoming more sensitive:
1. Open your eyes. Observe more. Recognize when someone’s facial expression changes. Be aware of someone’s physical challenges. Become an investigator with trained eyes as you look at people and a given situation.
2. Step outside of yourself. Ask yourself how that person (or a person with a different situation) might feel in this setting? This exercise will increase your IQ and make you see the world far differently, if you do it often enough. You can think of people you know or know about- how would they feel or what would you imagine they’d think in this situation? You can do it.
3. Be willing to ask. When in doubt, ask. Ask politely with compassion as the foundation. Very few people will be offended at that. Instead of, “I have no idea why or how that offended you!” Ask, “I’m asking because I don’t know but I want to better understand. Can you tell me how you’d feel if….?” Or, “I’m concerned that I may have (or my colleague may have) offended you in some way. Can you help me understand so that I don’t make the same mistake again?” Let people know that you want to be sensitive to their needs/culture/desires, etc…. Be honest. Be willing to learn something.

Yes, some will say, “Get over it. Everything seems offensive to someone today.” Yes, to some degree I understand what you are saying and even agree with you. But, why wouldn’t you want to know when you are the one offending others? Why wouldn’t you want to try to understand where they are coming from? It’s not only affecting your business but its affecting your relationships (which can also affect your business).

Think about the last time you were sensitive to something. How did it make you feel? Wouldn’t you have wanted someone to try to make right on the situation?

In my above example, I believe the hospital should only send family planning ultrasounds to that particular office. I think they should send all others to another facility 2 blocks away and/or another ultrasound office in the same building (if they have one). I can only imagine a woman falling apart in there as a result of the setting. It wasn’t me on that day but it could have been.

Know When to Say When....

Being back in Philly… it was incredible.

I lived in Philadelphia from 1993-1997 while attending Temple University. I lived in North, West and then the art museum area. I loved it. Sure, it had its ups and downs but I loved it. I always said if I found a great job back there I would have returned.

Fast forward 12 years later. I went to Philadelphia last week for a few reasons: the PA Governor’s Conference for Women on Thursday, a book signing at the Big Blue Marble Bookstore in Mt. Airy on Friday and to meet Flavius Jankauaskas, a hero in my book World War II Radio Heroes, on Saturday. Plus I planned to hit some of the old stomping grounds.

My trip was filled with mixed emotions. I walked some of the same paths I had taken years before. Now, with more money- so I splurged on restaurants I could have never afforded to go to as a student. But, with the same sense of uncertainty. Then it was about where I’d go from here. Now, it was about what I had hoped Philly would do for me today.

I must confess that safety was an issue for me. Likely because when I lived there I was attacked. I had recovered, what I thought, was relatively quickly from it but nevertheless a feeling of security avoided me while I was there trying to visit the random sections of the city I had once known. I am also less accustomed to vagrancy as it exists in Philadlelphia. I live in a city-dwelling of Pittsburgh yet am removed from most homelessness and begging as I encountered in Philly.

And, the city seemed far younger than I was comfortable with. Everyone was out for a night on the town while I walked or rode in the taxi solo. I just wanted an outstanding meal- minus the shots of jagermeister and the flirtation of the guy next to me.

I visited one of the old homes I occupied while living there. It seemed littered and sad. Not the youthful, hip, open-door place I had recalled.

I could go on.. but perhaps over a coffee one day I’ll tell you the rest.

Final note: the SEPTA smelled. Not necessarily bad, just smelled. I passed an entrance and quickly recalled the familiar odor. It didn’t repulse me but it did jog my memory to only that which it was- SEPTA. I rode it again for old times. Yep, got lost again- bad directions from one of the cashiers.

Okay, one more, just because I’m feeling moody about this… This was the only place in the world I have asked 3 people to take a picture of me and a friend and heard the word “NO”. They acted as if I was trying to sell them something. It was rude. I’ve journeyed all over this beautiful world and this is how my beloved city of Philadelphia treated me.

I share this because I am enthralled with the experience. But I also share it as a coaching moment, believe it or not.

REALIZE WHEN YOU’VE OUTGROWN A PLACE.
REALIZE WHEN A PLACE CAN NO LONGER LIVE UP TO YOUR POTENTIAL.
KNOW WHEN TO SAY WHEN.
GROW UP.

I have. Philly is no longer that place I dream about returning. It’s that place I may enjoy heading back to for a couple days with a friend but not more than that. Thanks Philly for being what you were when I needed you to be that.

Now, let’s focus on the G-20 coming to Pittsburgh this week.

Multi-tasking and Juggling is OUT; Focus and Prioritization is IN

We’ve been hearing it for a while. After we all became comfortable with touting our multi-tasking abilities! The news hit…. multi-taskers don’t get quality work done.

We’ve tried to hide from the truth. Hoping the results would be different. But they aren’t.

STOP multi-tasking. STOP having 10 balls in the air at one time. You aren’t doing yourself, your family or your company any favors.

START to focus. START to prioritize your projects and activities. START to apply 100% of yourself to ONE thing at a time.

Here’s how it can look (customize it to your day and activities):

7:30-8:00 Creative writing or reading of industry articles
8:00-8:20 Email
8:20-8:45 Phone calls that you prioritized that need to go out
8:45-9:15 Activity 1 (30 minutes of dedicated time without interruptions)
Stretch or take a 5 minute break
9:20-11:30 Activity (uninterrupted)
11:30-11:45 Email
11:45-12:00 Phone calls that you prioritized that need to go out

Here’s how it should NOT look:

(NO dedicated time to email, phone and creative process or specific tasking)
Constant review of email
Constant calls received and made
5 minutes of activity #1
Take phone call
8 minutes of activity #2
Respond to someone on Facebook
3 minutes of activity #3
Unsolicited phone call received
Lunch at your desk reading email and trying to read an industry magazine article

…. You get the picture

Focus. Prioritize. And for goodness sake, stop saying, "I'm a great multi-tasker." Thats so passe.

Join me in Philadelphia September 16-19th!

Join me in Philadelphia this week!

The Pennsylvania's Governor's Conference for Women will be held on Thursday, September 17th. Visit http://www.pagovernorsconferenceforwomen.org/ for more details.

On Friday, September 18th, I'll be signing books at the Big Blue Marble Bookstore in Mt. Airy. Visit http://www.bigbluemarblebooks.com/ for more information.

It will be good to be back on my old stomping grounds. I left Philadelphia when I graduated from Temple University in 1997. I've missed it so much. I'm looking forward to visiting some of the old neighborhoods, eateries and of course, the Temple Bookstore to pick up a few goodies to show off my pride.

Jump Start Your Creativity

I didn’t think of myself as a creative person until I was in my 30’s. I’m not sure if it was entertaining or networking and business needs that brought it out in me, but nevertheless I now consider myself (as others do) to be pretty creative.

To jump start your creativity or to find it, I encourage you to do the following:

• Every few minutes ask yourself, “wouldn’t it be cool if….”?
  

Allow your imagination to take hold and start to dream of the possibilities or the non-possibilities that would be great if they existed!

Another creativity trick is to hone in your observations skills.

• Start to pay closer attention to other people’s creativity. Identify someone or something that you think is creative. Upon labeling it as creative think about your own ability to do it or something similar. Before you know it you’ll be putting your own spin on a creative work.
  
  

Remember, we are what we eat. The same philosophy holds for ‘we are what we surround ourselves with”. If you want to embody something, surround yourself with people who have that attribute. Read about it. Think about it. And, it will be.

It’s that simple. Now, wouldn’t it be cool if…..

5 Tips for Pursuing Employment

It’s a wild emotional rollercoaster ride- being gainfully employed and feeling secure than then given the dreaded “we don’t need you anymore” or “we can’t afford to keep you on” line.

At first you may rationalize that a few weeks or months off will do you good. After all, you’ll be getting unemployment (if you are lucky). Why not take a rest?

But at some point you’ll start to worry. You’ll hear of others not getting jobs and not being able to care for themselves and their families. You’ll start to wonder what kind of job you’ll have to take to make ends meet.

You’ll go through various stages- anger, depression, self-pity, annoyance, defiance, sadness, guilt…. It won’t be easy. But, it will pass if you put yourself on the right track.

Here are 5 Tips for getting you on the right track:

1. Get up every day at a decent hour (say 7 AM) and get out of the house.
2. Volunteer at least 20 hours a week at a place or with people you will enjoy and feel like your contribution matters (animal shelters, religious institutions, senior centers, non-profits of all sorts, hospitals, etc…).
3. Go to at least 2 networking groups or social group events each week. (Google groups in your area for various areas of interest- there are also groups for the unemployed)
4. Have a resume ready to go for each area of interest you have or area you may want to target (a general resume, a technical resume, a “field-specific” resume like healthcare).
5. Let everyone in your life know that you are looking for your next position (not job) in the xxx area. Make sure people know you are looking and they are looking out for you. Don’t make it sound desperate- keep it positive and professional. Make sure they know what you do or want to do. Help them help you better. And, don’t forget to ask them how you can help them!
6. Bonus Tip #6: It goes without saying, but you should be spending at least 2 hours a day actively looking for open positions and targeting companies you want to work for. Call them. Submit resumes. Don’t just spend your time in the “research” mode. You must be in the “sending” “calling” and “doing” modes. You can’t be interviewed for what you don’t put in for!
   
   If you like these tips let me know and I’ll send you 5 more!
   
   

Champions Series- Become a Champion

It dawned on me more than a year ago. People kept calling and asking to take me to lunch. They wanted advice. The advice they sought ran the gammut. But they all needed an ear- a professional, confidential, reasonable ear. I was honored they chose mine. However, I could easily spend 40 hours a week having coffee and lunch with these good folks- and not making a profitable business out of my work! So, I designed the Champions Series.

The Champions Series offers members a new hot topic each month. We learn together about something new- or something we need to refresh ourselves with. The Champions pick the topics. I run the show. We all win. They also get private consultations with me each month- to talk about whatever they like. Again, a win-win. And, I kept it at the cost of a decent lunch for two. $39 a month.

I'm really proud of the Champions Series. I love it. It works. We've had less than 2% of members drop out over the last year. We'll celebrate our first birthday in October!

In case you are wondering, more details are found below. Champions are all over the United States. Some attend our meetings, most prefer to receive a monthly audio file (via email) with the seminar. We welcome you to learn more!

(This month is an anomoly. We are closed to guests without prior pre-approval due to the nature of our meeting. We'll be doing some mastermind work with members. I pride our group on being particular about members. I guarantee the quality, professionalism and confidentiality of our members and their learnings of others in the group.)

Spahr Consulting
- A life coach for better living
Champions Series

For the price of dinner you can invest in yourself and your business- with other Champions! Finally -a flavor of coaching that fits your needs.

Champions Membership is open to those who are interested in personal and professional growth. A Champion is one who invests in him/herself and recognizes the potential for improvement in all areas.

The Champions Series:
- will introduce you to a HOT topic meeting each month and
- foster you in identifying and achieving your goals in a positive and productive setting.

Fifth Third is the official sponsor of the Champions Series. Thanks Fifth Third!

The Champions Series Meeting will be held Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Fifth Third Bank, 5834 Forbes Avenue in Squirrel Hill
3:30 – 4:30 PM

Champions Hot Seat

Champions will present their business, product or service to the group in person or via telephone. Champions will request the type of help they are seeking to promote their business/product/service. The event will simulate a mastermind group to grow the Champion and his/her specific goals.

Guests must be pre-approved for this meeting due to the nature of the discussions. Call Lisa Spahr at 412.867.9991 with your guest’s details at least two weeks in advance.

The Champions Program offered by Lisa Spahr has made a distinct impact in my personal and especially my business life. I worked with a personal coach in the past and had a negative experience, so I was really hesitant to invest in coaching again. The champions program was a perfect way for me to test the waters, and I am grateful that I took that step. In just two months, I’ve seen a distinct difference in the way I conduct my business. Having a coach keeps my goals front and center, and reminds me that I am accountable. Being in the champions program allows me to have coaching that fits into my hectic time schedule as well as my budget. I also enjoy being a part of a distinct group of achievers!- Beth Caldwell, Executive Director, Pittsburgh Professional Women We Help Business Women Succeed! www.pittsburghprofessionalwomen.com/

Join the Champions Series today.
Membership Includes:
Ø Weekly Electronic Coaching Moments
Ø Monthly Champions Meeting (attend or get the MP3 file)
Ø Invitation to 1 Guest Per Month to Champions Meeting for $10
Ø 15-Minute Personal Coaching Each Month (via telephone)
Ø Exclusive Options to Upgrade Coaching in the Future

If you do not have a Membership Application please visit http://www.spahrconsulting.com/ to download one.

We appreciate the opportunity to work with you and on your business. You can reach us at:
Spahr Consulting, 7731 Abbott Street, Pittsburgh, PA 15221
Telephone: (412) 867-9991, email: Lspahr@spahrconsulting.com



Owner, Spahr Consulting

What people are saying about Lisa Spahr and her coaching programs…..
…In the 6 months that I have been working with Ms. Spahr she has become one of my most valuable professional resources…. She has well exceeded my expectations of a consultant. She provides advice, suggestions, provides options….and allows me to make well thought out decisions. She listens and understands. Only after a few weeks of working with Lisa, I was “blown away” by her interest in my business and the results that she was providing…..

…I worked with a business coach before and the results were not favorable for my business or my view of the coaching process. However, working with Lisa was very different. She has helped me feel more confident in my business and in my decision-making. She brought me out of my comfort zone, which is really hard, to highlight areas of growth, development and potential. I’m grateful for the opportunity to have met her and worked with her.

… I worked with Lisa in April and May and in that short of time, with her help and encouragement, I went from 52% to 90% YTD. It was Lisa Spahr who helped me achieve my goals, but most importantly helped me achieve balance with my family and my work, and I thank her for that.

… I attended your session and we spoke about motivation and staying on target. I've been reading your blog ever since, and wanted to touch base with you to tell you what an impact you've had on me. Thank you for being such an inspiration.

Vacation in Your Own Home

What is it about being on holiday or vacations that makes us so happy?

Some people live for the weekend, others live for the few times each year they vacation. Still there are others who vacation every 10 years. I wonder if they simply don’t like vacations that much or really enjoy their day-to-day lives that much! Either way, good for them- if it works.

I was thinking about why I love to travel so much or go on vacation. And, it hit me that it’s a temporary burst of living in a way that I really enjoy (but would ultimately grow bored of if it were for a prolonged period- we really are built to work and without work we lose ourselves… but that’s for another blog).

Some of the things we love about vacations:

• The flexible schedule


• The ability to catch up on sleep


• The newness and difference of the landscape


• Being with other vacationers or those who enjoy what we do


• Having others do things for us (cooking, cleaning, no laundry, etc…)


• Forgetting about our day-to-day tasks and responsibilities


• The ability to focus on one another more


• Having the time to play
  

So, what if I told you that you could have these elements in your daily life? Would you call me crazy? Yes, I imagine many of your would. But, if sit back to consider it for a few minutes you’ll see that I’m right.

• You do control your schedule (although you like to blame it on others or fail to blame your own obsessiveness)


• You can arrange a sleep schedule that is conducive to being healthy and happy


• You can explore new people, places and things within 25 miles of your home (in most places)


• You can surround yourself with others who have the same interests


• You can hire (or barter with) others to help you with daily chores


• You can change your day-to-day tasks and responsibilities to be those you WANT to remember and do


• You can focus on anyone you choose throughout the day


• You can play- and yes there is time for it- if you make it a priority
  
  

So, learn to vacation more at home. It will make the time in-between your trips more enjoyable.

Happy vacationing.

A Dose of Reality is Always Good

As my longtime readers know, I read the New York Times daily (thanks Matt P for drilling the importance of this into my head in 1998). For me, it shares the habitual stage with the likes of Inc, Fast Company, and Real Simple. These reads each satisfy different parts of me and they keep me sharp …and regular.

Last week the NY Times had several articles that became dinner-table talk in my house. One was titled The Women’s Crusade. It was a lengthy, high quality article about how women and girls can and will save the world- if we let them. It details the plights of women all over the globe.

Some of the stories were heart wrenching. Others offered a sense of optimism unparalleled in any story I’ve heard of late.

If you are a woman, a girl or know one… read the article before it falls off the online pages. It was a real dose of reality that may enlighten you in ways you could only imagine. Click on the title bar of this blog and it should take you there. Otherwise, search on the New York Times homepage.

As a coach, I encourage you to have a daily, weekly and monthly reading list. And, make time for it. You need to feed your brain with activities outside your office and your home, often. Read to learn. Learn to grow. Grow to be your best each day.

What’s Your Love Language?

Do you know which of the five love languages is yours? How about your partners?

It’s a good idea to explore Chapman’s book, The Five Love Languages, to better understand what love looks and feels like to you. Its an easy way to identify, specifically, how you need to be loved to feel “full”.

My husband and I took a course on the Five Love Languages before we got married. We weren’t in any crisis. We just love to learn. And, we are committed to learning about and with one another.

I learned that he and I share a love language, quality time. We both see it as imperitive to spend a lot of quality time together. I also learned that I am a bi-lingual. The Love Language, affection, was also at the top of my list. Being touched and having affection shown to me is as equally important as spending quality time. Gifts were, on the other hand, not even on my priority radar. (Not that I don’t enjoy them!) J They simply don’t equate to LOVE for me. They don’t FILL me with a sense of being loved. They may you- and that’s why you’d want to learn about the Five Love Languages.

My husband and I fostered our understanding of one another through this course. We realized what was super important and what was less important to always keeping one another filled with a sense of being loved. The book can help you in any stage of your relationship (new, challenged, near divorce, post-divorce, etc…)

Who doesn’t LOVE that?

Note: The book is in the biblical genre. You don’t need to be religious to read or understand it. I encourage you to enjoy it for the journey it will take you on.

What’s Wasting Your Time?

Imagine I told you that you could go on your “dream vacation” but you had to leave in 1 hour. Aside from wanting your bags packed appropriately, what would you spend your hour doing?

You wouldn’t believe the things you can get done in a crunch. And, each one has to be weighed by how high a priority it is. The lower ones, they fall of the face of the earth in that next hour. (Fantastic!)

When you are about to do a task I encourage you to ask yourself the following questions:

• Do I really need to do this? If yes, what purpose does it serve?
• Does it need to be done today or can it go on the schedule next week?
• How does doing this task make me look GREAT? (Hint, if it doesn’t you may not need to do it)
• Can someone else do it? Better? Cheaper?
• What have I done in the last hour for myself?
• What have I done in the last hour towards achieving my goals?

You’d be amazed at how many things can drop off your “to do” list and never have an impact! Let them go! Feel relieved and rewarded with some extra time on your hands to do important or worth-while things.

Bonus challenge: Make a list of worth-while activities and why they are worth-while. When confronting a task, check to see if it’s on your list. Ask yourself the questions above and drop it if you can. Then, do a worth-while activity to celebrate your “harnessing your time!”

Find and Support Your Passion/s

I recently posted a video on YouTube and my Facebook account on Passion. I was prompted to post the video based on two articles in the New York Times. I highly encourage you to watch the video and then identify and support your own passions.

You can see the video by going to my Facebook account or click on the title bar of this blog and it will take you to YouTube (if anything fails, you can also search “lisa spahr” on YouTube).

Thanks.

Women can be the Worst Offenders!

Women support one another. Recognize the benefit of uplifting one another. Give to gain. It works.

I remember the first time I encountered professional jealousy and attack from a woman in the workplace. I’ll never forget it.

I had the wonderful fortune for working for a “class act” supervisor, Matt, in a majority male environment. That wasn’t odd for me; in fact, it was common for the roles and fields I chose. He was exemplary. He fostered both my personal and professional growth. He gave me opportunity and responsibility. He trusted my judgment while cultivating my skill-set. He was a Marine. And, I was a 24 year old out of college for just a year. He sent me around the country representing our service organization to veterans, active-duty personnel, families and the defense department at large. I met by day with epidemiologists and conducted town-hall meetings in the evenings.

One day I heard some commotion in the hallway. It was one of our senior “secretaries” yelling at Matt. (We still used the language “secretary” back then.) She was a very seasoned woman who had been at the firm for 20+ years. She worked her way up to being the secretary for a director. Matt was an assistant director. This was his boss’ secretary. I heard her telling him that I should be answering his phones and writing his letters, doing his copying, etc…. He kept saying, “No, she doesn’t do that. She’s not my admin. She’s not my secretary. She’s one of my staff.” Their voices escalated. He walked off in a huff as did she. The conversation never came up again. I went about my duties as normal- likely flying out to a new destination that afternoon.

It was this experience that taught me that women can be our worst offenders and holding us to a particular place- even if it isn’t where we belong.

Honestly, it transcends male or female-ness. I titled the blog that due to my personal experiences and observances. But, it is sex-less. Men and women hold each other down for no good reason other than it makes them feel better. It helps them stay stagnate to demand that you do too. These offenders don’t want you to reach ranks that they can’t or don’t aspire too.

Are you one of them? If so, change your ways. Focus on YOU. You’ll gain a lot from doing so. You’ll be happier and healthier. Not to mention a far better colleague. Learn to support rather than present obstacles.

Do you know one of them? Stay clear of them. Focus on YOU. Work closely with your supervisor and your support team to identify your next steps. Ignore their attacks. If need be, address the interruptions with their supervisor (after making it clear to them that you find their actions/behaviors distracting and unsupportive).

Go Women Go! Don’t make excuses and don’t be someone else’s excuse! Climb that ladder. And, don’t kick another woman’s rungs out from under her.

The Ethics Train… It’s Gone

Years ago, I published a paper on white-collar crime, specifically savings and loan fraud. I discussed the culture that fosters such behavior- makes it seem natural, normal and only a “little lie”. After all, many people feel they are owed more than they make, or they swear they had intentions on paying it back… the excuses go on and on.

How firm do you stand on ethics? Do you believe there are levels to lying... white ones and big ones and such? Would you want your politicians lying... wait, let me rephrase that… is it acceptable that a politician lies? What about a police officer? Your banker?

What do you lie about?

Here’s another question: Is it okay for employees to take materials from the office if they need them at home. Well, perhaps, if they have a home office where they conduct the same business as you expect them to do in the main office. If not, well then they could be seen as abusing office resources for personal use. Does it make a difference if I’m talking about a box of pens or a laptop? Now, does it make a difference it I tell you that this is a government employee? How about if they use the laptop to look at inappropriate material? Has the situation escalated enough for you yet?

These things happen every day. Many environments cultivate unethical practices better than they do their own businesses. Is yours one?

Inventory your ethics and that of your employees today. Get a reign on ethics… or it will bite you one day. And, some of the bites are harder than you might first surmise.

I Love to Fire!

I’m not talking about pottery. I’m talking about people. Yes, it’s not the most appreciated aspect of who I am, by others' accounts, but it is something I do well. I fire people.

I’ve had to fire friends. I’ve had to fire people around the holidays. Are you ready for this? I’ve never felt guilty about it. Why? Because I’ve done it right.

And now my friends, is the time to fire those who are not helping your business succeed. Well, in fact it was yesterday or last year but today is as good of a time as any day in the future.

You may wonder why or how I find it so easy to speak so lightly about a sensitive and life-altering situation. Easy. I’ve been the employee who resented having to work along side others who didn’t pull their weight, were “wastes of paychecks” and who brought the whole work force down. The bosses failed to do the right thing due to legality and we were ALL stuck in a toxic environment. Everyone suffers with a bad egg in the group. Especially the company. Oh, and did I mention profits... and reputation suffer too?

I was just talking to my husband about situations we’ve both experienced when people should have been “let go” but weren’t. One of my examples had to do with a colleague who impersonated a high level executive at our firm – as he traveled around the country, as we all did- and impregnated a woman in another city. He failed to call her back, after her multiple attempts to reach him, and so she called our top-brass. They quickly identified the culprit… and demoted him. Great lesson for us all, right? This man never worked anyhow, he manipulated others to do his work for him. When interviewed about my colleagues actions, it was like a “tell-all” story. My response was that he insulted each one of us every pay day by the mere fact that he had a job. And, they kept him!?!

When I became a decision-maker I vowed to never allow a toxic environment to exist. I have zero qualms of firing those who say, “It’s not my job” and those who do sub-par work. There's too much talent out there. There are too many hard working people to let the others have their jobs.

Do you realize how many top-notch potential employees are out there? Why on earth would you settle for a mediocre one in this day and age? It’s not the economic climate to settle for fifth-best. Go for the best. You can likely hire them at a bargain and let them earn great benefits in the next year or so as the economy straightens up.

If your people aren’t giving you your best you have to ask yourself why? Then you have to have a meeting with each one to come to an understanding. Develop measurable expectations with related rewards and consequences. Make sure they are agreeable. Then, get to work. In the time frame identified, let your employee show you what s/he is worth or let them make it easy to say, “We’ve had enough. We’re going to let you go.”

Clearly, work with your HR and Legal teams on this- but trust me, it CAN and SHOULD be done. You do each of your employees an injustice by letting a bad apple spoil the bunch… and the reputation and profit of your company. Shame on you if you choose to do so.

Is a Eulogy a Burden or an Honor?

I was privy to a conversation this week that opened my eyes on the topic of eulogies.

I was with a group of seniors and we were discussing writing- what kinds of things we write and why, for what purpose. One lovely man commented that he has written his eulogy. He said he did that because he felt the eulogy was a burden he didn’t want to impress upon anyone in his family.

Interesting. Personally, I always felt the eulogy was an honor to give. It was bidding a physical farewell to someone that meant something to you. And, you got the opportunity to share your love of them freely and openly in their send off.

I now realize that people can have very different views of this.

One woman commented that she too feels it is a burden to the family members to deliver a eulogy. She said it should be left to clergy… and that’s that.

A few people did chime in that they felt the eulogy could be cathartic to the person giving it. It could represent the sharing of things we never knew about the person or about the relationships they had.

One gal said that she was at a funeral when the son stood up and gave a eulogy which berated his father for so many wrongs in his life. She said no one knew the hell that the son was living in- and she was delighted he could finally get it off his chest and rest – in his own way. (As a psychologist, I’d love to have been at this one.)

Think about your eulogy- and your wishes for who should give it. Perhaps put it in your living will and make your wishes known to those you love.

I can tell you that mine will mirror my wedding. I will likely invite several people to say a few things, if they are comfortable, and then open it up for others to share. But then again, I’ve never resisted a microphone yet, so perhaps I’m a little skewed.