Life's Moments of Humor

There is little coaching in this entry. I just wanted to share a humorous epiphany.

As you know I am near-term in my pregnancy, 38 out of 40 weeks. And, as you've likely read or know about me I love to have dinner outside on my patio in the nice months. Bear with me, the story needs set up.

So, as we're enjoying our meals outdoors I realize the mosquitoes are in full force. Rather than immediately go in, I test fate. And, fate wins. So, I end up with quite a few bites. They itched with vengeance in the middle of the night of course during my multiple trips downstairs to the bathroom. Where is that Witch Hazel when you need it!?  But, alas, I make it through the night. Moody as I might have been.

The next morning I opt to put on my new pair of shoes. *Sidebar, I had to get size 11's to fit my ultra-swollen feet. And, the shoes are far from attractive, but they fit and I try to assure myself comfort IS what matters. Still working on that issue.* The shoes immediately set off a wildfire of itching on the toe that the mosquito claimed the night before. My moodiness has returned. I'm late to get out the door (which is really an anomaly for me and I HATE it) and I clearly either have to go back to flip-flops (which I wrestle with) or find ointment to manage the itching. Witch Hazel found. Cotton balls found. Now, I'm dousing my toe. But, I really should apply some anti-itch cream and band-aid the little bugger (pardon the pun). So, I pull out the well-organized bundle of band-aids that I have near the first aid box in my closet and try to find ONE good band-aid for a toe. Good luck sister!  The toe, like the finger, only trickier, is a hard one to bandage. And, this is the next to smallest toe, so the real estate to cover is tricky. And, now of course, I have too much ointment on which will prevent anything from sticking to it.

Meanwhile, my lovely husband is packing our lunches. He calls out, "do you need help?". My comment cannot be typed for fear of anyone under 18 reading this post. He knows I'm upset- let's leave it at that. He continues packing.

I manage to wipe off some of the excess ointment, probably too much- thus rendering it INeffective, and get a regular-joe band-aid around the little sucker. Keep in mind I am as round as a basketball in the middle and reaching your toes is NO easy feat. I'm lucky to see them. Touching them is a completely different story! OK, foot in shoe. Shoe seems to be okay. Leaving house with lunch. Mood can rise anytime now. :)

Not only is this funny to be looking back but the best part was when I found myself swearing I'd sacrifice the whole box of well-organized band-aids for new fancy ones that are flexible, breathable and have special ones for the toes and fingers. Yes, this task now goes on my agenda. Rid myself of cheap band-aids for the three-times-the-price ones in the name of comfort and ease. The last time I swapped an entire collection of something, I was in my mid-20's and it was underwear!  And, I didn't swap them out for comfort and ease! It was for luxury, sex appeal, fashion, beauty, and simple newness. Boy, have the times changed! Panties to band-aids. Welcome motherhood!

I hope you've enjoyed my moment of humor. Some say that being able to laugh at yourself signals your arrival. We'll I've arrived to say the least.

Dinner on the patio anyone?

Do You Get It?

Do you receive the Living Better Newsletter? It is FREE and comes out in the early part of every month to your inbox. We don't sell your email address or contact details to anyone- that's our promise.

The Living Better Newsletter has a monthly coaching tip (which you are always welcome to email me if you want to see a topic covered there or in this blog); the latest Champions news; (sometimes) a coupon or special offer; and is a great way to remind yourself to be working on YOU rather than everyone and everything else.

Sign up today at our website (the link is right below my welcome message) or on our Facebook page. You can also choose to join the Living Better Newsletter and/or the World War II Radio Heroes Spotlight (our first book).

Welcome! It will be good to have you join us.

Homegrown Tastes Better

We must confess. This year our garden has taken a backseat in our priority list. But, my husband's planting of raspberries, two years ago, has blossomed and we have hundreds of them now. So bring on the raspberry recipes. (Sort of kidding, since I just love eating them by the handfuls- untouched by any cooking process.)

This year we've committed ourselves to more organic produce and more "clean" foods. That doesn't mean you won't see us at the local pub from time to time having a fry- but for the most part we've developed an eating lifestyle that feels better, healthier.

The beauty of gardening is that you don't need acres of space. Many people do it in large bins or tubs. And, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to make it work. I have no green thumb but I look up what I need to know and wing the rest. Some times I win (like last years tomato crops) and sometimes we don't (like the time we didn't know that zucchini would require the ENTIRE space of the garden). But, the learning piece is part of the beauty of gardening. We slow down on learning new things as we age- and we shouldn't. It's not good for our brains and overall health.

Gardening is also good for the soul. It makes me think back to my ancestors and the work they often did in their fields and on their farms. It offers me a connection. Not to mention, its a great break from the ordinary chores we find ourselves doing. And, some people find it therapeutic to dig with their bare hands in the dirt. I'm one of them. (Although in my current state I can't really bend over to do this well.)

My basil, rosemary, tomatoes and raspberries taste better than any I could buy in the market. And, I know what went into and on them. I invite my friends over to pick from our garden often. One of our dearest friends plans to come by tomorrow to pick some fresh basil for a salad she's taking to a potluck dinner. That sharing feels good too.

Garden for your health, your community and your connection to days gone by.

Happy gardening.

An Example of GREAT Customer Service

My best friend Tara and I are real sticklers for good customer service. We met as teenagers working in a music retail business. We learned how important service was to the survival and enjoyment of the industry. Too bad many others haven't. Her and I often discuss good and BAD examples of customer service. Today, I am happy to report I have a GREAT customer service story to share- and one we should all mimic if we have a business.

I ordered a half a dozen items from diapers.com last week. Ironically, I tried to order some of the same items from amazon.com but ran into tons of shipping charges due to the vendors being third-party and not the actual company amazon.com. So, I moved my items over to diapers.com for the free shipping offer.

The ordering process, online, was easy. Interface was user friendly. Prices were competitive. All good. My order was confirmed within minutes and arrived within 36 hours. Great. Then, as I was unpacking some items a few days later I noticed that one small element was missing from one of my sealed boxes. It was actually an element I could care less about (not the essential items of the purchase but a 'bonus' item that was supposed to be included). Nonetheless, I made a mental note to call or email them in the coming days.

This morning, before 8 AM, it dawned on me to call them. At first thought, I figured they'd not be open yet - at least on the phone lines. But, what the heck, let's be a tad optimistic. Not only were they open, I got a live person within a very short time. Monique was her name. Pleasant and lovely. I explained that one of my items failed to include a small component. She swiftly apologized and developed a plan to get me a new box (complete new box with all of the contents). She said she first would call the warehouse to ensure my replacement box had each item it was supposed to and then she would email me back. She did better than that. She called me within the hour to confirm that my replacement was complete in its entirety and would be shipped today. I asked if I was to return the original box and original contents to her upon receiving the replacement. "No," she said. I was to keep it- with their apologies.

Tonight I see from my email that my order has shipped from diapers.com.

No hassle. No intrusive questions. No problems. Just good old customer service that makes me smile. Thank Monique. Thanks diapers.com. You have a fan in me.

Now, are you that good to your customers? Be honest when you answer that question. Heck, I'm even willing to be your mystery shopper if you want to put your staff to the test.

Happy servicing to you all.

If you had trouble making a donation... use my ID

Please see the below blog entry. A dear friend, and fellow animal lover, alerted me that he visited the donation site and had trouble on his return. If you experience the same and it asks for my volunteer ID, please enter #17801499.

Again, thank you for your love and care. Thank you for helping me to end animal cruelty.

The Gift of Giving.. Will you help one of my favorite causes?

This pic is one of my owners, Louie B. He decided that the laundry basket made a good cushion for his nap. He keeps us on our toes to say the least.

Dear Friends,
I've been asked to help the Humane Society raise some funds. If you are an animal lover or know one (perhaps you are teaching your young child the gift of giving) please contribute a few dollars via this website. They've challenged me to raise $50. I'd like to raise $500. My thanks to you in advance.

https://www.stopthecruelty.org/(S(0pwzih455v21xi45dnflwq45))/campaign.aspx

Groundhog Holes VS. Mountains

I was talking to a client the other day who was feeling overwhelmed. Job stress was killing him and his relationships. He was snapping at home and feeling helpless at work. And, let me tell you this is very unlike him, he's a real go-getter and successful person most of the time. But we all have these moments don't we?

As I was listening to the situations he was describing and he and I were exploring each and coming up with positive action steps to remedy them, the following illustration came to me.

I encouraged him to look at each situation as isolated, for now, and let's thoroughly discuss it. I suggested this because he was feeling overwhelmed by it all but when you parsed apart "it all" it was smaller bite-size issues, elements and situations that could be managed.

It's like identifying the groundhog holes and then filling them in. You have to find them, and hopefully not step in one or its like a trap that can be very dangerous, and then start to fill them in. It may take time to do so but you can do it. Conversely, if you allow your troubles to pile on top of one another you create a mountain that seems impossible to climb. You have allowed the smaller bite-size elements, people, things to collect and build. Look at it differently. Give yourself a chance to dissect the situation and attack it one by one. Resolve it one by one. You'll certainly see patterns and themes that you must take responsibility for but you will be able to combat each one and likely learn how to spot it when it comes around again.

Groundhog holes may be deep but you only fall so far into one. The keys are seeing them first. Then, finding filler. Filler can be gaining control of your own reaction, asking for support, learning to communicate more effectively with the other party, allowing yourself to be honest and even vulnerable to learning something new, acknowledging your responsibility in creating the hole.... it can be anything but you will have an opportunity to identify the filler and then begin filling it in with your possible resolutions to the problem. You may find your filler for one works for the next. Or, you may need a new one for the next but you'll still be able to manage it if you take it one hole at a time.

Mountains are hard to climb. They are even harder to crest. Not impossible mind you but hard. Why let them build and grow thus creating a hard time for yourself (and those around you)?

Leave the mountain climbing to those who love it. You work on your groundhog holes.

You Can't Mask an Ass (Yes, you read that right!)

Although I don't mean to offend I needed to get your attention. (This is an actual device I found in an antique store in Reno NV. I couldn't resist taking a quick photo!)

As most of you know I write about things that happen to me, things I've contemplated or things clients have asked me about. This time it was a personal interaction on the street that lead me to rant.


Short version... a man nearly plowed into me on the street because he wasn't paying attention (and didn't see a woman 8 months pregnant in front of him, go figure... I'm not that fast these days). As he narrowly missed me I smelled his sweet (and strong) cologne. I also noticed how nicely he was dressed. He clearly cares about the impression he makes on others. So, how about an "Excuse me." Or better yet, eyes ahead of you ready to smile at a stranger rather than down on your blackberry or looking for a penny in the sidewalk cracks!

Don't spend your time and money worrying about your impression if you can't cover the basics. Be nice. Be memorable- for the right reasons. Smile. Say "thank you," "please," and "excuse me" when it's right. Tell someone how nice they look rather than wait for their comment about you. Be the person your mother hoped you'd turn into. The rest is just eye (and nose) candy.

Where are Your Priorities?

I stayed away from the New York Times for a whole day while enjoying my first year anniversary. But when the digest came Sunday morning, the day we checked out of our love oasis, I couldn't resist. I peeked.

Sure enough there was an article that fired me up. It was titled Moonshine or the Kids. The link is below.

The article unveiled the ugly choices many poor families make in serving their households and families (or lack of service, I'd argue). The article focuses on families in the Congo but I must shout out from the rooftop that it is far from isolated in that area. We, here in rich America, do a disservice to our families too in choosing moonshine over our kids.

In this well-written article, Nicholas Kristof, features one family that is facing eviction, isn't equip with the most essential safety features to save their children's lives (a mosquito net in this case- think car seat in ours), and has a child that is about to be evicted from school because they can't pay the $2.50 a month tuition. Now, before you go sending them a check WAIT! Continue reading and you'll learn that the head of the household and his wife have cell phones that cost more per month than the debt on their rental home AND the tuition of their children COMBINED. The head of household ALSO spends about $12 a month on liquor. Talk about a catch! (I hope you read the sarcasm here.)

Now before you go spewing off about how people live in other countries, take a hard look at yourself and your neighbors. An equally challenging article to supplement this one could talk about our gross spending on things both frivolous and not THAT WE CAN'T AFFORD AND OUR DEBT SINS.

But before I digress too much.....
I want you to look at your weekly and monthly expenses. Count every penny. Where does your money go? Is that aligned with your goals this year (you do have goals don't you!?)? What do you find yourself saying, "I wish we had money for that." Or, "Too bad we can't afford that." If you are saying it to a scarf you see in a window for $85 fine. But, if you are saying that about your child's summer camp options, STOP YOURSELF and look at your own foolish splurges that benefited NO ONE.

You and I could have a long talk (ok debate) about what a luxury item is versus a necessity. Take a cell phone for instance. Many of you would say NECESSITY! I'd say LUXURY. Especially when you consider that only 10% of you REALLY need it for business sake. AND, the fact that it costs 3 times as much as your landline does. So, just by discarding your landline you rationalize that YOU NEED IT. You really are making me chuckle (on a good day). Mad on any other day. Especially if I hear you crying about what you can't do for your family. Go watch some more TV.

Whew. I told you I was fired up! Life is full of choices people. Make good ones.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/05/23/opinion/23kristof.html

Spend Some Time Reminiscing

I’m about to depart for the weekend to celebrate my 1st year anniversary. I’ve been looking forward to this for weeks. Part of the nostalgia of being back at the Greenbrier is thinking back to last year. Celebrating such a special day with my closest friends and family meant the world to me. Having the wedding that I had dreamed about for so long is a memory that I hope will never fade. I expect to do a lot of reminiscing this weekend.

I encourage you to spend some time reminiscing about events, activities and people that are/were hallmarks in your life. We shouldn’t spend all of our lives reacting and living in the current moment. The past has a lot to offer us- take advantage.

Happy Memories.

The Year is Almost Half Over: Where Are You?

It's nearly Memorial Day. Summer is almost upon us. Where has your year gone?

Have you been on track with the accomplishments you laid out? Did you even identify things you wanted to accomplish? (I sincerely hope so, especially if you are reading my blog.)

What are you currently working on?

Do you feel confident about the second half of the year? If so, GREAT. If not, WHY NOT?

Some of us live to be in our 90's. Some older. Others are robbed of life very early, in their 20's and 30's. You have no idea where you fall, nor do I. Why not make every year count for something? Make every year the most memorable- the one you want people to remember you for.

Never take for granted that you have another year to do the things you've been putting off. You may have that year. Some do. Some don't. Why let everyone else's demands run you wild year after year? That's certainly not memorable, nor enjoyable.

If you haven't yet.... start living YOUR life today. Declare it your own and lay out a map of what you want it to feel like, include, and exclude.

Happy living.

An Outstanding Example of Leadership... at an IMAX near you

Years ago I read a Harvard Business School article on Ernest Shackleton. I was so inspired by him and his leadership abilities that I kept the article (and I hate clutter so you know that means something). I share it with all of my clients who aspire to be better leaders or embark on running their own business.

As I was discussing the article with a client recently, I recalled the story had made its way to the large screen. Upon doing a little homework I found that it's playing at an IMAX near me, in Pittsburgh. I plan to go as does my client.

If you have not read about Shackleton's adventures I encourage you to do so. A simple Google search will give you all that you need. You may also want to find it playing at an IMAX theater near you. If you want the Harvard Business Review article that I am, simply email me at lspahr@spahrconsulting.com. I'm happy to share it.

If you are in Pittsburgh, you can view it at the Carnegie Science Center through September. http://www.carnegiesciencecenter.org/calendar/omni_details.php?eventID=1201

We are all leaders in some respect, whether we are good ones or not is the question to ponder.

Three Weeks Left to Sign Up for Champions and Lock in $39 a Month!

For the price of dinner you can invest in yourself, your career and your business. Finally, a flavor of coaching that fits your needs.

What people are saying about Lisa Spahr and her coaching programs…
…In the 6 months that I have been working with Ms. Spahr she has become one of my most valuable professional resources…. She has well exceeded my expectations of a consultant. She provides advice, suggestions, provides options….and allows me to make well thought out decisions. She listens and understands. Only after a few weeks of working with Lisa, I was “blown away” by her interest in my business and the results that she was providing…..


…I worked with a business coach before and the results were not favorable for my business or my view of the coaching process. However, working with Lisa was very different. She has helped me feel more confident in my business and in my decision-making. She brought me out of my comfort zone to highlight areas of growth, development and potential. I’m grateful for the opportunity to have met her and worked with her.


… I worked with Lisa in April and May and in that short of time, with her help and encouragement, I went from 52% to 90% YTD. It was Lisa Spahr who helped me achieve my goals, but most importantly helped me achieve balance with my family and my work, and I thank her for that.

And now through June 1, 2010 (in three weeks) you can sign up for your own 30-minute monthly telephone call with a coach through the Champions Series for only $39 a month.

We'll close membership enrollment from June through the end of September to focus completely on our current Champions and Clients and when we open again, the price goes to $59 per month. But every Champion enrolled before June 1st stays at the $39 per month membership fee for the life of their membership. It's unheard of in coaching circles, but we're doing it!

Visit http://www.spahrconsulting.com/  to learn more and then sign up .... before your time runs out!

Happy growth!

How do poor communication skills manifest in other ways? I say, blinkers.

If you know me, you know that a pet peeve of mine is people not using turn signals when driving. I notice it frequently. Likely 1 in 2 or at best 1 in 3 don’t signal to alert others as to their intentions to turn, change lanes or otherwise move in a fashion other than the straight and narrow.

I would guess that these men, women and teens also are poor communicators in other facets of their lives. They believe that as long as they know where they are going (or think they do) nothing else matters. Everyone else will just figure it out or deal with it. Others matter far less to them than their desire to turn or change lanes at that time. Besides, they may guess, who cares. They rationalize that they didn’t impact anyone other than themselves. Nice. Those mottos will come in handy when you have your first spat with your partner, argument with your boss or try to show you were the good guy/gal in divorce court. Ok, so I’m taking it to extremes. I really hate failures to blink. It’s rude, not at all “team oriented”, and unprofessional- not to mention unsafe and illegal. I hope you picked up the transference of traits from the asphalt to the workplace in that last sentence. Oh, I forgot egotistical.

So, dear fellow drivers, use that signal that came standard on your car, truck, SUV, moped, etc…. show us that you want to be better communicators because you know it will have a positive impact on your life otherwise. And, hey, you may make us all a little safer out there. Bonus.

Visit Me at Costco!

I was all set to blog about failed blinkers and poor communication. But, I have to shout out my excitement for news I just received. My book, World War II Radio Heroes: Letters of Compassion, has been accepted by and is in Costco stores today!  It may be limited distribution, to test the market first, so please look for it and request it through the manager if yours does not have it in stock.

I am so grateful for everyone who has supported this wonderful story over the years. We have a goal of reaching an audience of 1 million by 2012 and I must tell you we are in a great position to do that. We've been in a number of national magazines and now in a nation-wide wholesaler.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Stop by your local Costco today and pick up the book for yourself or as a gift for someone who loves a great story.

Join me at Progressive Pittsburgh May 7th- an All Day FREE Conference

Sponsored by the Community Bridge-Building Network, this is a community conference celebrating business, education, recreation, social service, and cultural diversity in the Pittsburgh area.

8:30 AM-5:00 PM May 7, 2010 at the Edgewood Club, 1 Pennwood Avenue, Edgewood Borough, 15218

The conference is FREE but you must register by emailing CBridgeBN@aol.com with "conference" in the subject line. Include your name, company name and phone number.

Speakers include:
Bill Peduto, Jennifer Ankowiak, Brian O'Neil, Harish Saluja, Gina Mazza, Cheryl Campbell, Georgia Berner, and Pat Clark.
Entertainment provided by: Etta Cox

Take Time to Evaluate Your Relationships

I was once engaged to a man I never married. He was lovely and wonderful in many ways. But, the decision to end the engagement didn’t come from an argument or a fundamental disagreement in lifestyle. It was a simple question that I posed to myself one day.

“Do I love him more than I believe I have the capacity to love another?”

You see, I wasn’t, as most do, going to just compare this love to ones previous. That seemed too simple and in fact would only cheat myself in the long run. I had to try to imagine what the possibilities for love were and to somehow compare what I had with those possibilities. Hard I know, but believe it or not, the answer came quickly. “No, I didn’t.” I truly believed that a greater love existed in the world. Whether or not I’d find it, that was going to have to be a gamble … or maybe a prayer. But, I couldn’t settle. I think most people do that and I didn’t want to be like most people. Most people seem really unhappy too- why on earth would that be a crowd I wanted to be in?

As spring has arrived and newness is on your lawn and, hopefully, in your heart, I challenge you to take a look at your relationships and ask yourself some tough and some not-so-tough questions. They don’t have to be the same question I asked myself. Make up your own. Do your own evaluation.

If you are willing to share, I’d love to hear what you asked and what you answered.

Wishing you healthful and happy relationships, everyday.

Join me this Thursday, April 22nd, at the Get Invovled! Service Summit

It is going to be a great day filled with networking, education and fun with other service-oriented people in their 20's and 30's. Tom Baker has put together an all-star line up of speakers from local politicians to non-profit executives to coaches. I'm thrilled to have been asked to be a part of it. See you there.

For more information visit: http://www.bakerleadership.com/events.html

I have two tickets available if you are interested. Email me.

Time for You and Those You Love

*This pic was taken in Virginia City NV

I just came off of a 2-week vacation. Most people I know rarely take 2 week vacations anymore…. There is just so much to do at work, at home, etc…. How can they afford to disappear for 2 weeks? My question is how can you afford not to?

I came back refreshed, rejuvenated, and more relaxed.

Work lives went on without me- you aren’t as irreplaceable as you think- and few of us are emergency surgeons, and even if we are that is why they have others on call.

I actually got to enjoy day after day of doing what I want when I wanted and with whom I wanted to. It was joyous. Although, I must confess, I do feel that is how I live my non-vacation life at least 40%+ of it. But, this was extra-special.

When is the last time you took more than 5 days away from your job (and don’t count illness)? If it was more than 6 months ago I encourage you to plan your next break now. Make it at least 12 whole days. Go where you want. Hide away at home if you want: reading, cooking, doing a local retreat, whatever…. Just make sure it’s really your time and no one else’s.

Then, drop me a line and tell me how you felt afterwards. It’s ok if you tell me that it felt weird the first few days or that you felt compelled to be back at work- in today’s frenzied environments we’ve, sadly, created that trend. But, give it a few more days and allow your bodies and minds to sink into vacation mode. Then, simply enjoy.

Now Go Out There and Get Yourself a Raise! Quoted in CNN Money

http://money.cnn.com/2010/04/05/magazines/moneymag/105914381.moneymag/

Fresh off the press, I was interviewed for this piece featured in CNN Money on how to get a raise in a tough economy.

Enjoy it and let me know if you have specific questions.