Much of my life is spent in the car. I work from home two days a week but the majority of my work week is zooming around town meeting with clients.
The rising price of gas has inspired me in several ways.
It has spurred me into reviewing how I drive. The result is that now I plan my travel more carefully to include all my errands and meetings in one area on the same day.
It has also shaken me to take a better look at my own wastefulness in all other resource areas. The result is that I am trying to decrease my use of natural resources to only those I need when I need them.
Thirdly, it has fostered me in revisiting my price points for my business. The result is that some prices that include travel have gone up. While pricing for telephone coaching and office visits have gone done (a great benefit to cost conscious clients).
How have gas prices affected your business and your life overall?
I hope that rather than just be mad about the state of things you can look inward to what you can do to manage through these times. The results of such an examination may just enlighten you. I believe it has me.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Friday, July 25, 2008
So, You’re Getting Divorced… now what?
One in two marriages fails. It’s common. It’s no pleasant. And, it’s not your fault.
I say it’s not your fault (although you soon-to-be-ex-spouse might say it is) because there are so many variables in a marriage. There are outside influences as well. These variables and influences are often overwhelming- and over time- people realize that the “matching factors” that were once in place are no longer.
So, your marriage in ending. I’m not here to save that. I leave that to the therapists- and to you and your spouse. What I am here to do is to move you forward into a new beginning. It’s really a rebirth of you- your life as a single person. It’s hard and you should have help. Your friends will help. Your family too. But, I’d encourage you to hire a coach- an independent, outsider, focused solely on you to help you build the life you want, step by step.
As a coach, I help people weekly (daily if necessary) map out what they need to be doing (sometimes doing it with them) and what/how they need to be thinking to get them to their bright tomorrow. And, trust me, tomorrow is bright.
You are not a failure. Your marriage failed. I’m sure you made mistakes- but we all do- in all facets of our lives. That doesn’t make us a failure.
Get ready for your next adventure.
I say it’s not your fault (although you soon-to-be-ex-spouse might say it is) because there are so many variables in a marriage. There are outside influences as well. These variables and influences are often overwhelming- and over time- people realize that the “matching factors” that were once in place are no longer.
So, your marriage in ending. I’m not here to save that. I leave that to the therapists- and to you and your spouse. What I am here to do is to move you forward into a new beginning. It’s really a rebirth of you- your life as a single person. It’s hard and you should have help. Your friends will help. Your family too. But, I’d encourage you to hire a coach- an independent, outsider, focused solely on you to help you build the life you want, step by step.
As a coach, I help people weekly (daily if necessary) map out what they need to be doing (sometimes doing it with them) and what/how they need to be thinking to get them to their bright tomorrow. And, trust me, tomorrow is bright.
You are not a failure. Your marriage failed. I’m sure you made mistakes- but we all do- in all facets of our lives. That doesn’t make us a failure.
Get ready for your next adventure.
Monday, July 21, 2008
"Smoking Makes You Ugly."
I was a smoker for 13 years. Occasionally, I'd take some heat for smoking. Someone, a "reformed non-smoker", would say something to me to highlight their success of quitting and my lack of doing so. I always hated that- but I did take it to heart.
I tried to quit several times. I went cold turkey. I tried the patches, the gum, you name it... Each time I failed.
In college, I had an English Professor who would always see me smoking before and after her class. She'd come up to me and say, "smoking makes you ugly." She said it jovially but she meant it. Every class day I'd hear this over and over. It meant something to me. It was serving as motivation for the day I was finally ready to quit. That day came for me on February 5, 1998.
Its because of her that I'm writing this blog. Even if I make you a little mad, I hope you'll take to heart what I have to say about smoking and the damage it does to you- and your business or career success.
Smoking does in fact make you ugly. What are the benefits? The detriments include the physical damage it does to you on both the inside and outside; the money you waste each day; the odor; the alienation of coworkers and others; and the lack of self-control (perceived by others).
There has never been more of an anti-smoking society than now. Smokers talk about it all the time. They are being discriminated against for their choice to smoke. They are being pushed out on the streets- no longer able to smoke in their offices and buildings. They aren't even able to smoke on some streets in some cities. Hospital workers and others have to be so many feet off property to smoke. The list of limitations to them increases every year. These limitations spiral into other negative actions and reactions. Here's one: how many times do you hear a non-smoker talk about how many breaks the smoker takes- and how long those breaks are if s/he has to go off grounds? Its only going to get worse.
With many attributes people associate negative feelings. Smoking is one of those attributes. If you smoke everyone knows it. You may think they don't, but they do. It smells. You can attempt to mask it but cigarettes have a very strong smell to them that permeates your clothing, skin and hair. I was recently disgusted, twice, when I was getting a service at a high-end salon and could smell cigarettes on my providers hands. I was paying a fair bit of money for a beauty service only to be inundated with the smell of nicotine. Gross. I have never gone back to that provider. The other situation was when I went into the bathroom at one salon and could tell that someone (a staff member) had been in there, either smoking or was a chronic smoker who just carried the smell with her where ever she went.
My caution to you if you are a smoker who is pitching or providing a service to a non-smoker: Know that your smoking may be a turn-off to them. So much so, that you lose the business. Especially, if they are a "reformed non-smoker" - more than 45 million according to The American Lung Association.
As a coach, I help people quit smoking- but this blog isn't written to promote that. In fact, its not one of my favorite things to do. It gets ugly. I advocate a "tough love" approach to quitting. Smoking disgusts me- perhaps because I was weak to it for so many years. I have become one of those "reformed non-smokers". And, I like it. I can truly breathe better as a result of my decision.
I tried to quit several times. I went cold turkey. I tried the patches, the gum, you name it... Each time I failed.
In college, I had an English Professor who would always see me smoking before and after her class. She'd come up to me and say, "smoking makes you ugly." She said it jovially but she meant it. Every class day I'd hear this over and over. It meant something to me. It was serving as motivation for the day I was finally ready to quit. That day came for me on February 5, 1998.
Its because of her that I'm writing this blog. Even if I make you a little mad, I hope you'll take to heart what I have to say about smoking and the damage it does to you- and your business or career success.
Smoking does in fact make you ugly. What are the benefits? The detriments include the physical damage it does to you on both the inside and outside; the money you waste each day; the odor; the alienation of coworkers and others; and the lack of self-control (perceived by others).
There has never been more of an anti-smoking society than now. Smokers talk about it all the time. They are being discriminated against for their choice to smoke. They are being pushed out on the streets- no longer able to smoke in their offices and buildings. They aren't even able to smoke on some streets in some cities. Hospital workers and others have to be so many feet off property to smoke. The list of limitations to them increases every year. These limitations spiral into other negative actions and reactions. Here's one: how many times do you hear a non-smoker talk about how many breaks the smoker takes- and how long those breaks are if s/he has to go off grounds? Its only going to get worse.
With many attributes people associate negative feelings. Smoking is one of those attributes. If you smoke everyone knows it. You may think they don't, but they do. It smells. You can attempt to mask it but cigarettes have a very strong smell to them that permeates your clothing, skin and hair. I was recently disgusted, twice, when I was getting a service at a high-end salon and could smell cigarettes on my providers hands. I was paying a fair bit of money for a beauty service only to be inundated with the smell of nicotine. Gross. I have never gone back to that provider. The other situation was when I went into the bathroom at one salon and could tell that someone (a staff member) had been in there, either smoking or was a chronic smoker who just carried the smell with her where ever she went.
We, as a society, are aggressively becoming smoke free- and rather than fight the laws I'd encourage you to quit. It really is that simple. Quit. It will be the best thing you can do for yourself, your family and friends, your business or career and your environment.
My caution to you if you are a smoker who is pitching or providing a service to a non-smoker: Know that your smoking may be a turn-off to them. So much so, that you lose the business. Especially, if they are a "reformed non-smoker" - more than 45 million according to The American Lung Association.
As a coach, I help people quit smoking- but this blog isn't written to promote that. In fact, its not one of my favorite things to do. It gets ugly. I advocate a "tough love" approach to quitting. Smoking disgusts me- perhaps because I was weak to it for so many years. I have become one of those "reformed non-smokers". And, I like it. I can truly breathe better as a result of my decision.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Are You Being Downsized? Now is the time to revisit your life.
More and more often I am meeting people who are announcing their companies have downsized and that they are no longer employed. These individuals span all ages and levels of experience. They are facing a challenging time ahead.
But I argue, they are also facing a wonderful opportunity to rediscover what their passions are. They likely have some time and a little money to hold them over while they revisit the options that are available. They likely are limiting those options by only what they know how to do- specifically, what their old job was.
I encourage them (and you, if this article is about you) to take some time to explore what they REALLY want to do with the next decade of their life. What are their hobbies- can any one of those be made into a vehicle to make money. We’ve always heard people say, “love what you do and do what you love”. They are right. But, sometimes it’s hard to find a way to make that happen. Not impossible, but hard.
It takes a person to step out of their comfort zone a little. Imagine the possibilities (even outside of those that make perfect sense based on your old career). Stretch your imagination even further. Read about people and professions far away from your own. Dare to dream about work that fuels rather than exhausts you.
I chose to leave a lucrative career in Washington DC more than a year ago. I was an established researcher who could easily move around between firms chasing the projects or income I wanted. However, for me, the bigger picture was being lost. I wasn’t delighted with my life in DC. I felt as though everything outside of my career was on hold. I opted to move back to Pittsburgh (a place, one of many, that I had lived a few years prior) and start my own business. I fully prepared myself for the challenges ahead- even though I couldn’t identify them, yet. But, reclaiming me, my life, was so incredible that little else seemed to matter.
My journey over the last year has allowed me to grow more in 12 months than I had in the 5 years prior. What’s that worth to you? To me, it’s priceless.
If you or someone you know is being downsized, encourage them not to jump into the next “same” job they had- unless they LOVED it. Challenge them to take this time to do something bold, brazen, wild- explore them- who they are and want to be-, develop a new plan that includes their passions- and go for it!
But I argue, they are also facing a wonderful opportunity to rediscover what their passions are. They likely have some time and a little money to hold them over while they revisit the options that are available. They likely are limiting those options by only what they know how to do- specifically, what their old job was.
I encourage them (and you, if this article is about you) to take some time to explore what they REALLY want to do with the next decade of their life. What are their hobbies- can any one of those be made into a vehicle to make money. We’ve always heard people say, “love what you do and do what you love”. They are right. But, sometimes it’s hard to find a way to make that happen. Not impossible, but hard.
It takes a person to step out of their comfort zone a little. Imagine the possibilities (even outside of those that make perfect sense based on your old career). Stretch your imagination even further. Read about people and professions far away from your own. Dare to dream about work that fuels rather than exhausts you.
I chose to leave a lucrative career in Washington DC more than a year ago. I was an established researcher who could easily move around between firms chasing the projects or income I wanted. However, for me, the bigger picture was being lost. I wasn’t delighted with my life in DC. I felt as though everything outside of my career was on hold. I opted to move back to Pittsburgh (a place, one of many, that I had lived a few years prior) and start my own business. I fully prepared myself for the challenges ahead- even though I couldn’t identify them, yet. But, reclaiming me, my life, was so incredible that little else seemed to matter.
My journey over the last year has allowed me to grow more in 12 months than I had in the 5 years prior. What’s that worth to you? To me, it’s priceless.
If you or someone you know is being downsized, encourage them not to jump into the next “same” job they had- unless they LOVED it. Challenge them to take this time to do something bold, brazen, wild- explore them- who they are and want to be-, develop a new plan that includes their passions- and go for it!
Monday, July 14, 2008
Do you Welcome or do you Alienate?
I often talk about some one's "inviting factor" which includes the ways we attract, invite, welcome and include other people.
Today I want to direct your attention to how "welcoming" you or your company is at inviting new hires and ensuring they have a pleasant and productive early experience with you.
How do you attract top talent? (Some companies do a great job at attracting you and post-hire forget to include the welcome wagon.) What do you do for new hires to orient them to you, your company, their teams, the city, etc...? What process do you have in place to ensure they have all that they need to get started on the right foot? Who's in charge of that process? Do you survey them (after hire and at exit) on the orientation and welcome process? You should.
I can tell you from personal experience that less than 10% of companies I've worked for/with and interacted with do a good-to-great job at welcoming new employees. They all think they do- but they don't. Some of the top companies in the world fail to help employees navigate a new city, assign a consultant (not a unmarried employee who is expected to "show them around") to ensure they find everything they need (new house, social activities, etc...), and in general help them to acclimate for the first 90 days.
I encourage you to consider the impression you make on a new hire when you fail to welcome him/her in the best fashion possible. Be the best. Hire the best. And, treat them well. They, in turn, will likely do the same for you.
Today I want to direct your attention to how "welcoming" you or your company is at inviting new hires and ensuring they have a pleasant and productive early experience with you.
How do you attract top talent? (Some companies do a great job at attracting you and post-hire forget to include the welcome wagon.) What do you do for new hires to orient them to you, your company, their teams, the city, etc...? What process do you have in place to ensure they have all that they need to get started on the right foot? Who's in charge of that process? Do you survey them (after hire and at exit) on the orientation and welcome process? You should.
I can tell you from personal experience that less than 10% of companies I've worked for/with and interacted with do a good-to-great job at welcoming new employees. They all think they do- but they don't. Some of the top companies in the world fail to help employees navigate a new city, assign a consultant (not a unmarried employee who is expected to "show them around") to ensure they find everything they need (new house, social activities, etc...), and in general help them to acclimate for the first 90 days.
I encourage you to consider the impression you make on a new hire when you fail to welcome him/her in the best fashion possible. Be the best. Hire the best. And, treat them well. They, in turn, will likely do the same for you.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Are You Interview Ready?
I was listening to National Public Radio (NPR) the other day and they were discussing the number of interviewees who show up dressed inappropriately. It is in fact a huge problem. It prompted me to share some of the things I work with job seeking clients on.
Here are a few essentials:
Why are you targeting your prospective company/position/industry? Nail this down. Win them over with your story on why you want THEM.
Know your strengths and what you’d bring to the table that THEY want. Do your homework by talking to people in the firm. Understand what their model employee looks like (including what skills they have).
Dress for the position. Yes, I know. Your brilliance is not in your dress but in your head. But, at the end of the day you should LOOK like you deserve six figures- or I’d wonder why I’m paying you that.
When it comes time, negotiate your salary and benefits. Ladies, read this again. Negotiate your salary and benefits. Do not accept the first offer. Know your value, industry standards, and their usual pay structure.
Google yourself. They will have done so.
Here are some items that will kill you in an interview:
Talking poorly about your previous or current boss
Being ill prepared (not knowing about their company, people, industry)
Not taking the interview seriously (do you have a pen, notepad or laptop, and are you making them the center of your attention)
Expecting them to ignore your attire or look- or not care
Being too chatty
Dropping your manners
Making immediate friends and telling a non-professional story about yourself
Being too cocky
These things are just the beginning. The basics if you will. If this job is the one you want. Hire a coach. It doesn’t have to be me- just have a right hand in landing this one. Don’t lose it over a few bucks or a poor move that wasn’t planned or executed well.
Good luck. Now, get out there.
Here are a few essentials:
Why are you targeting your prospective company/position/industry? Nail this down. Win them over with your story on why you want THEM.
Know your strengths and what you’d bring to the table that THEY want. Do your homework by talking to people in the firm. Understand what their model employee looks like (including what skills they have).
Dress for the position. Yes, I know. Your brilliance is not in your dress but in your head. But, at the end of the day you should LOOK like you deserve six figures- or I’d wonder why I’m paying you that.
When it comes time, negotiate your salary and benefits. Ladies, read this again. Negotiate your salary and benefits. Do not accept the first offer. Know your value, industry standards, and their usual pay structure.
Google yourself. They will have done so.
Here are some items that will kill you in an interview:
Talking poorly about your previous or current boss
Being ill prepared (not knowing about their company, people, industry)
Not taking the interview seriously (do you have a pen, notepad or laptop, and are you making them the center of your attention)
Expecting them to ignore your attire or look- or not care
Being too chatty
Dropping your manners
Making immediate friends and telling a non-professional story about yourself
Being too cocky
These things are just the beginning. The basics if you will. If this job is the one you want. Hire a coach. It doesn’t have to be me- just have a right hand in landing this one. Don’t lose it over a few bucks or a poor move that wasn’t planned or executed well.
Good luck. Now, get out there.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Look Your Absolute BEST Today.. and reap the benefits
Why do we always WAIT to be our best?
How many times have you heard someone say, "When I lose 10 lbs, I'm going to..." or "When I get that promotion and raise, I'm going to..."
I say, make today, make NOW, your best and enjoy it as though you are 10 lbs lighter or you have that promotion. Its amazing how when you act like you have it- you get it!
Let me give you an example I see all the time (and you will too if you just look out for it):
I'm in a cafe (swap out store of any kind, street in anywhere USA, you get the point) and I see a beautiful woman. She has on a gorgeous piece of jewelry or is dressed to kill (no matter the hour) and has a smile on her face. She takes great pride in what she looks like and treats herself well. Do you have an image? Describe her yourself.
Now, how much does she weigh? What is her title? It doesn't matter! The point is she's a knock out and she knows it. She took the body she had this morning upon waking up and dressed it up. She then added a splash of great attitude and an award-winning smile. She gets it! And, so do I.
I happen to be sporting 2 very unsightly blemishes as I type. I have plateaued in my weight loss (down 50+ pounds in 2 years) and need to lose at least 20 more. But, I don't care. Not today. Those "issues" don't make "me". On the plus side, I have an outstanding pedicure, an outfit that makes me shine .. and I still treat everyone like rock stars (even the man who parks my car). That makes "me".
I encourage you to treat yourself today to one piece of clothing, jewelry, a seminar, a book ... something that will make you feel like a million bucks. Wear it, read it, say it proudly and worry more about dressing up what you have than gaining or losing what you don't.
Look for someone gorgeous around you and compliment them. It comes back. It always does.
Enjoy today. Enjoy YOU.
How many times have you heard someone say, "When I lose 10 lbs, I'm going to..." or "When I get that promotion and raise, I'm going to..."
I say, make today, make NOW, your best and enjoy it as though you are 10 lbs lighter or you have that promotion. Its amazing how when you act like you have it- you get it!
Let me give you an example I see all the time (and you will too if you just look out for it):
I'm in a cafe (swap out store of any kind, street in anywhere USA, you get the point) and I see a beautiful woman. She has on a gorgeous piece of jewelry or is dressed to kill (no matter the hour) and has a smile on her face. She takes great pride in what she looks like and treats herself well. Do you have an image? Describe her yourself.
Now, how much does she weigh? What is her title? It doesn't matter! The point is she's a knock out and she knows it. She took the body she had this morning upon waking up and dressed it up. She then added a splash of great attitude and an award-winning smile. She gets it! And, so do I.
I happen to be sporting 2 very unsightly blemishes as I type. I have plateaued in my weight loss (down 50+ pounds in 2 years) and need to lose at least 20 more. But, I don't care. Not today. Those "issues" don't make "me". On the plus side, I have an outstanding pedicure, an outfit that makes me shine .. and I still treat everyone like rock stars (even the man who parks my car). That makes "me".
I encourage you to treat yourself today to one piece of clothing, jewelry, a seminar, a book ... something that will make you feel like a million bucks. Wear it, read it, say it proudly and worry more about dressing up what you have than gaining or losing what you don't.
Look for someone gorgeous around you and compliment them. It comes back. It always does.
Enjoy today. Enjoy YOU.
Friday, June 27, 2008
Let's talk or rather THINK WASTE
As you know, I often use my blog to share my own thoughts of the week. This is one of those blogs.
This week I've had a number of enlightening moments. I've thought more about the bigger picture than just the day to day, ins and outs of my workweek. I try to build this reflection time into my time, often. After all, many of my clients come to me because they want to focus on the bigger picture rather than the day to day affairs.
One of this week's epiphanies came when I thought about the many environmental issues in the news and on many of our minds. I don't' consider myself an environmentalists. I never really thought about labeling myself in that regard. But, I can see the draw. I respect the movement and what it hopes to do.
I thought about my own waste. (I often work with people on wasted time or energy.) I realized that I produce an average amount of waste (garbage) for the households on my block. But, it still is too much. I thought back to the landfill photos I've seen in my life. I asked myself, "if the garbage you put out each week (for the waste management staff to pick up) had to remain in your backyard for 3 months (let alone 3 years!), how would that change what you throw away?" It would significantly change the way I viewed garbage. I decided that I need to be more cognizant of what I discard, where it is going and how long it will have to be there.
This thought process then took me to the tiny things I can do in my own home to reduce my waste. For instance, I use paper over, until both sides are used/printed on. (Because I do like to print things to read- and haven't yet gotten in the habit of only reading on the computer screen.) I also use the library more often to borrow rather than own many of my reading materials, music cds, and movies. And, I pay attention to water usage in my home- in all ways and attempt to reduce water consumption.
The list could go on but I have to now get in the car and drive to an appointment (and yes, I've also rethought my driving routines).
I encourage you to think about the bigger picture this week. Any picture. Just think outside your day to day life and ponder something. Then, share your thoughts with someone and have a discussion about it.
Thanks for allowing me to share my thoughts via this blog. Remember, your coach is also a normal gal who has experiences like the rest of you.
This week I've had a number of enlightening moments. I've thought more about the bigger picture than just the day to day, ins and outs of my workweek. I try to build this reflection time into my time, often. After all, many of my clients come to me because they want to focus on the bigger picture rather than the day to day affairs.
One of this week's epiphanies came when I thought about the many environmental issues in the news and on many of our minds. I don't' consider myself an environmentalists. I never really thought about labeling myself in that regard. But, I can see the draw. I respect the movement and what it hopes to do.
I thought about my own waste. (I often work with people on wasted time or energy.) I realized that I produce an average amount of waste (garbage) for the households on my block. But, it still is too much. I thought back to the landfill photos I've seen in my life. I asked myself, "if the garbage you put out each week (for the waste management staff to pick up) had to remain in your backyard for 3 months (let alone 3 years!), how would that change what you throw away?" It would significantly change the way I viewed garbage. I decided that I need to be more cognizant of what I discard, where it is going and how long it will have to be there.
This thought process then took me to the tiny things I can do in my own home to reduce my waste. For instance, I use paper over, until both sides are used/printed on. (Because I do like to print things to read- and haven't yet gotten in the habit of only reading on the computer screen.) I also use the library more often to borrow rather than own many of my reading materials, music cds, and movies. And, I pay attention to water usage in my home- in all ways and attempt to reduce water consumption.
The list could go on but I have to now get in the car and drive to an appointment (and yes, I've also rethought my driving routines).
I encourage you to think about the bigger picture this week. Any picture. Just think outside your day to day life and ponder something. Then, share your thoughts with someone and have a discussion about it.
Thanks for allowing me to share my thoughts via this blog. Remember, your coach is also a normal gal who has experiences like the rest of you.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Start with the Family
When you have a big decision to make, where do you turn?
Many of us turn to our families, partners, spouses, etc....
Companies too have recognized the importance of involving families in life's decisions. They often invite families to tour their facilities and become more involved in the employees work life. They realize that a happy and healthy family often equates to a happier and more productive employee - who may stay longer than a few years.
Companies also involve families in promotional decisions, restructuring, etc...- because they are already involved at home during "dinner-table talk". They realize that involving spouses and partners in the discussion early on will foster a better outcome (no matter what the decision).
I believe the military was one of the pioneers in this process of involving families to foster a more satisfied home-work environment. They have had groups for spouses and families for decades to support and encourage more familial involvement in the culture of the workforce. Companies are now refining this process to suit their own needs- and that of their employees.
So, if you hire, fire, restructure, etc... remember to involve the family behind the employee. They'll help to make the transition more successful- and your company will shine for it!
Many of us turn to our families, partners, spouses, etc....
Companies too have recognized the importance of involving families in life's decisions. They often invite families to tour their facilities and become more involved in the employees work life. They realize that a happy and healthy family often equates to a happier and more productive employee - who may stay longer than a few years.
Companies also involve families in promotional decisions, restructuring, etc...- because they are already involved at home during "dinner-table talk". They realize that involving spouses and partners in the discussion early on will foster a better outcome (no matter what the decision).
I believe the military was one of the pioneers in this process of involving families to foster a more satisfied home-work environment. They have had groups for spouses and families for decades to support and encourage more familial involvement in the culture of the workforce. Companies are now refining this process to suit their own needs- and that of their employees.
So, if you hire, fire, restructure, etc... remember to involve the family behind the employee. They'll help to make the transition more successful- and your company will shine for it!
Friday, June 20, 2008
To Pantyhose or Not to Pantyhose?
Do you remember the chaos incited by the young women who wore flip flops to the White House? Well, there is an equal yet more career damning discussing underway- and has been underway for some time via whispers in the office. Should professional women have to wear pantyhose in the office? (The "have to" isn't meant to denote a written rule mind you.)
The issue has a number of strong opponents and proponents. One class you might not realize is that of our senior women in the workplace. Many of whom couldn't fathom a more unladylike issue pertaining to attire. (Well, they could really. But for the sake of this argument lets remain focused.)
Generational differences between working women can cause havoc in the workplace. Especially, if one of the seniors happens to be in charge of your performance evaluation- or have the ear of the person who is.
Dress, language, vehicle of correspondence (email versus formal letters- and don't mention mobile device "overuse or abuse"!) and aggressiveness (sometimes called assertiveness) are some of the areas where our senior and younger generations conflict.
The answer to wearing pantyhose in your workplace is ultimately up to you. I encourage you to (1) know yourself (2) know your boss/es (3) know your customers (4) recognize the workplace climate do's and don'ts (and consequences for not following them) and (5) talk with fellow employees about the issue (youth and seniors alike) to get their feedback.
The larger issue at hand here is opening the lines of communication between our senior and youth colleagues. Develop mentor programs that pair them up and foster healthy dialogue about workplace issues. Its like a good marriage, it may be spiked with a little conflict here and there but its all in how you handle the conflict that matters. Respect has to be a two-way street for it to work well.
For your information (FYI)- as a coach, business owner and confident woman, I choose to go pantyhose-free during the warm months. And, I never wear them with pants. In fact, I wear more pants in the colder months to avoid the circulation-denying, rubber band-ed-ness, itchy issue all together. ;)
The issue has a number of strong opponents and proponents. One class you might not realize is that of our senior women in the workplace. Many of whom couldn't fathom a more unladylike issue pertaining to attire. (Well, they could really. But for the sake of this argument lets remain focused.)
Generational differences between working women can cause havoc in the workplace. Especially, if one of the seniors happens to be in charge of your performance evaluation- or have the ear of the person who is.
Dress, language, vehicle of correspondence (email versus formal letters- and don't mention mobile device "overuse or abuse"!) and aggressiveness (sometimes called assertiveness) are some of the areas where our senior and younger generations conflict.
The answer to wearing pantyhose in your workplace is ultimately up to you. I encourage you to (1) know yourself (2) know your boss/es (3) know your customers (4) recognize the workplace climate do's and don'ts (and consequences for not following them) and (5) talk with fellow employees about the issue (youth and seniors alike) to get their feedback.
The larger issue at hand here is opening the lines of communication between our senior and youth colleagues. Develop mentor programs that pair them up and foster healthy dialogue about workplace issues. Its like a good marriage, it may be spiked with a little conflict here and there but its all in how you handle the conflict that matters. Respect has to be a two-way street for it to work well.
For your information (FYI)- as a coach, business owner and confident woman, I choose to go pantyhose-free during the warm months. And, I never wear them with pants. In fact, I wear more pants in the colder months to avoid the circulation-denying, rubber band-ed-ness, itchy issue all together. ;)
Monday, June 16, 2008
Not Everyone Likes You: Get over it
In a perfect world we'd like everyone to like us and buy our products or services (or hire us). However, as intelligent beings with some business and life experiences, we know this isn't the case.
People like us for different reasons. People will take interest in our product, service (or want to hire us) for different reasons. People are finicky.
You can control 9 out of 10 variables that make people like you. But you can't control them all. You also can't gage exactly what each customer, boss, spouse, etc.. will want at every given moment. You can do well in your guessing. But, don't aim for perfection. You'll be sorely disappointed.
Don't weigh your success on everyone liking you or buying what you have to offer. Weigh your success on your accomplishments, your testimonials from those you work with and for, your attitude and your value to those you aim to serve.
I'll give you a loose example:
I just received (June 2008) my first less-than-stellar book review since publishing in December 2007. At first, by nature, I was put off. But 30 seconds later I laughed out loud. What kind of author would I be or what kind of book would I have WITHOUT at least one bad review? It wouldn't be real without at least one! I felt as though I had arrived as an author. The review brought me to a place I had not been- it made me feel something. These non-fans keep it real for us.
Do what you do- for you and for a very targeted audience. What you do is not for EVERYONE. Let's leave that work to the politicians.
People like us for different reasons. People will take interest in our product, service (or want to hire us) for different reasons. People are finicky.
You can control 9 out of 10 variables that make people like you. But you can't control them all. You also can't gage exactly what each customer, boss, spouse, etc.. will want at every given moment. You can do well in your guessing. But, don't aim for perfection. You'll be sorely disappointed.
Don't weigh your success on everyone liking you or buying what you have to offer. Weigh your success on your accomplishments, your testimonials from those you work with and for, your attitude and your value to those you aim to serve.
I'll give you a loose example:
I just received (June 2008) my first less-than-stellar book review since publishing in December 2007. At first, by nature, I was put off. But 30 seconds later I laughed out loud. What kind of author would I be or what kind of book would I have WITHOUT at least one bad review? It wouldn't be real without at least one! I felt as though I had arrived as an author. The review brought me to a place I had not been- it made me feel something. These non-fans keep it real for us.
Do what you do- for you and for a very targeted audience. What you do is not for EVERYONE. Let's leave that work to the politicians.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Say NO to Quitting via Email
I was meeting with a referral partner this morning who commented about employees leaving jobs via email notification. What?
Is it ever a good idea to send an email to your boss saying, "I'm quitting."
No. The answer is absolutely no.
What were you thinking? Why do people believe this avoidance of confrontation and lack of professionalism approach is acceptable- ever?
Can you call up your last three bosses and have a friendly genuine chat with them? If not, lets talk.
Sure there might have been a bad boss along the way who didn't deserve proper and professional notice- but you owe it to yourself to be bigger than that. Your reputation stands on the line in this situation. Your reputation is one of the greatest assets you have. Don't lose it over your need to make a quick line to the exit.
Do the right thing.
Quit with style, integrity -keep your professional demeanor.
Email is NOT good for some things. This is one of them.
Call or email me before your exit- don't make the situation worse. You ARE smarter than that!
Is it ever a good idea to send an email to your boss saying, "I'm quitting."
No. The answer is absolutely no.
What were you thinking? Why do people believe this avoidance of confrontation and lack of professionalism approach is acceptable- ever?
Can you call up your last three bosses and have a friendly genuine chat with them? If not, lets talk.
Sure there might have been a bad boss along the way who didn't deserve proper and professional notice- but you owe it to yourself to be bigger than that. Your reputation stands on the line in this situation. Your reputation is one of the greatest assets you have. Don't lose it over your need to make a quick line to the exit.
Do the right thing.
Quit with style, integrity -keep your professional demeanor.
Email is NOT good for some things. This is one of them.
Call or email me before your exit- don't make the situation worse. You ARE smarter than that!
Thursday, June 5, 2008
"I can't tie my shoes, but I have a great memory!"
I am rarely at a loss for words.
The other day I was giving a talk at a retirement home, on my book World War II Radio Heroes: Letters of Compassion (2008). There were two "Spahr's" there. Wow. I've not met any other Spahr's in the Pittsburgh area until then. But my surprise didn't end there.
The lady of the pair took my breath away after my talk, as a few of us were conversing. She was born premature, 2 lbs in fact; lives with cerebral palsy; lost all of her family members with one exception; and has been in a wheelchair all of her life. But her mind, is as sharp as a tack!
I commented on her memory at one point as she mentioned someone else's birthday (in a facility with more than 100 people!) and she said, "I can't tie my shoes, but I have a great memory!" And, on her cue we all laughed.
This woman is ON! She's GOT IT! She has greater spirit than most people I meet on a daily basis. She has not allowed any handicap to hinder her life or the quality of her life. I learned so much from her in a mere hour.
She is happily married and has found wonder and amazement in each moment in life. She takes nothing for granted.
Wow. What an amazing woman! If I can be half that in this lifetime I'll be satisfied!
Who have you learned a valuable lesson from lately?
Visit a retirement center near you today! Take the kids! You'll be amazed at what you learn.
The other day I was giving a talk at a retirement home, on my book World War II Radio Heroes: Letters of Compassion (2008). There were two "Spahr's" there. Wow. I've not met any other Spahr's in the Pittsburgh area until then. But my surprise didn't end there.
The lady of the pair took my breath away after my talk, as a few of us were conversing. She was born premature, 2 lbs in fact; lives with cerebral palsy; lost all of her family members with one exception; and has been in a wheelchair all of her life. But her mind, is as sharp as a tack!
I commented on her memory at one point as she mentioned someone else's birthday (in a facility with more than 100 people!) and she said, "I can't tie my shoes, but I have a great memory!" And, on her cue we all laughed.
This woman is ON! She's GOT IT! She has greater spirit than most people I meet on a daily basis. She has not allowed any handicap to hinder her life or the quality of her life. I learned so much from her in a mere hour.
She is happily married and has found wonder and amazement in each moment in life. She takes nothing for granted.
Wow. What an amazing woman! If I can be half that in this lifetime I'll be satisfied!
Who have you learned a valuable lesson from lately?
Visit a retirement center near you today! Take the kids! You'll be amazed at what you learn.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Don't Volunteer Your Business Away
Last week I had the honor of being a panelist at a seminar titled "Getting Paid What You're Worth". The seminar was sponsored by the Pittsburgh Professional Women organization.
Women, much more than men, appear to have greater difficultly limiting their "freebies", volunteering and other give-aways. By default we are nurturers, givers and the ones to sacrifice when necessary. But, once we put on a business hat we have to redefine ourselves.
Saying no to others is a great start to saying yes to you and your business. Say that out loud. Saying no to others is a great start to saying yes to you and your business.
Here are three tips:
Women, much more than men, appear to have greater difficultly limiting their "freebies", volunteering and other give-aways. By default we are nurturers, givers and the ones to sacrifice when necessary. But, once we put on a business hat we have to redefine ourselves.
Saying no to others is a great start to saying yes to you and your business. Say that out loud. Saying no to others is a great start to saying yes to you and your business.
Here are three tips:
- Limit your volunteering. (I only volunteer for one effort at a time. If its a year commitment- then I don't volunteer for anything else during that year.)
- Limit your freebies to those that are likely to REALLY lead to future work and GREAT connections. (Identify what a freebie is and keep them tightly managed.)
- Make sure you are spending the majority of your time doing what you are good at, loving it and GETTING PAID FOR IT. If not, its time for a critical analysis of your business and your strategies.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Can you have multiple coaches?
A prospective client asked me "Can you have multiple coaches?" What a great question.
I must admit I had to ponder this one for a minute. My answer was "yes" but what was the foundation for that answer?
I began by thinking about myself. I have a racquetball coach. He helps me work on my game and specific court tactics. I have mentors (who are coaches) who help me in various facets of my life and business. So, the more I thought about it, I realized that I and others have "teams" of people who help us succeed in multiple areas of our lives. Whether or not they are called "coach" is somewhat irrelevant. They are coaches in practice. They guide us, mentor us, advise us....
Let's look at it as if it were shopping - you have different stores that you go to for different things. I go to Caesar's in Shadyside for jewelry. I go to TJ Maxx (I'm outing myself here) for almost all clothing. And, I go to DSW for shoes. We know where to go for certain things.
Where do you go for mental stimulation? Where do you go to learn about growing your business? Or, working on yourself (relationships, communication, intelligence)?
Who's on your team?
I highly encourage you to take stock in your team. Add who you need to for further development in all facets of your life. And, thank them for being on your team. You may think its all roses but its likely not. Being a good mentor, coach, advisor can be taxing. Sometimes we have to tell you things you don't want to hear.
I must admit I had to ponder this one for a minute. My answer was "yes" but what was the foundation for that answer?
I began by thinking about myself. I have a racquetball coach. He helps me work on my game and specific court tactics. I have mentors (who are coaches) who help me in various facets of my life and business. So, the more I thought about it, I realized that I and others have "teams" of people who help us succeed in multiple areas of our lives. Whether or not they are called "coach" is somewhat irrelevant. They are coaches in practice. They guide us, mentor us, advise us....
Let's look at it as if it were shopping - you have different stores that you go to for different things. I go to Caesar's in Shadyside for jewelry. I go to TJ Maxx (I'm outing myself here) for almost all clothing. And, I go to DSW for shoes. We know where to go for certain things.
Where do you go for mental stimulation? Where do you go to learn about growing your business? Or, working on yourself (relationships, communication, intelligence)?
Who's on your team?
I highly encourage you to take stock in your team. Add who you need to for further development in all facets of your life. And, thank them for being on your team. You may think its all roses but its likely not. Being a good mentor, coach, advisor can be taxing. Sometimes we have to tell you things you don't want to hear.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Cleaning Up After the Death of a Loved One
Organizing has become a huge industry. In this high-stress hectic world of a 50+ hour workweek, demand for family and personal time, and the need to make the most of our time- people have turned to places like Ikea, the Container Store and others to manage their household goods.
This trend is evident in many American homes and magazines. The one place that it is often absent is the homes of our parents and grandparents. The challenge will come at one of the worst times of our lives.
What will your life be like when your parent/s or grandparent/s pass away? Outside of the emotional distress of the situation you are likely to face a home or multiple homes full of things. Things that may make their way to your home for temporary storage - until YOU manage to sort and distribute them. This will be another area ripe for stress between you and your siblings, spouse and/or children. The process could take months- perhaps even years.
What can you do?
One, encourage everyone you know to have a will. In my will I note where I want "things" to go- even clothing. I share my legal documents and wishes with all of the people involved with such- before they really need to act on that information. I allow them to ask questions. I make it an issue more of preparation and easing their burden than a grim talk of the inevitable.
Two, have a plan in place if YOU find yourself in this situation. Know the local resources that will liquidate "things" in an estate sale and the charity shops and organizations that will pick things up at your door.
Three, identify the treasures in someones life that you would cherish- that necklace that Aunt Grace wore all of the time, that wrap that Mother always had available, Father's favorite book.... Everything else should become a treasure in someone else's family/home. Get rid of the things that won't be cherished by your forever. Don't allow 2-3 households of stuff to live under your roof. Give a gift to each child/relative but find peace with getting rid of the rest. If you sell the items, give the money to the deceased favorite charity.
This is an inevitable yet tough situation to think about- but you'll do yourself so much good if you do. Families benefit from planning. Do your part today.
This trend is evident in many American homes and magazines. The one place that it is often absent is the homes of our parents and grandparents. The challenge will come at one of the worst times of our lives.
What will your life be like when your parent/s or grandparent/s pass away? Outside of the emotional distress of the situation you are likely to face a home or multiple homes full of things. Things that may make their way to your home for temporary storage - until YOU manage to sort and distribute them. This will be another area ripe for stress between you and your siblings, spouse and/or children. The process could take months- perhaps even years.
What can you do?
One, encourage everyone you know to have a will. In my will I note where I want "things" to go- even clothing. I share my legal documents and wishes with all of the people involved with such- before they really need to act on that information. I allow them to ask questions. I make it an issue more of preparation and easing their burden than a grim talk of the inevitable.
Two, have a plan in place if YOU find yourself in this situation. Know the local resources that will liquidate "things" in an estate sale and the charity shops and organizations that will pick things up at your door.
Three, identify the treasures in someones life that you would cherish- that necklace that Aunt Grace wore all of the time, that wrap that Mother always had available, Father's favorite book.... Everything else should become a treasure in someone else's family/home. Get rid of the things that won't be cherished by your forever. Don't allow 2-3 households of stuff to live under your roof. Give a gift to each child/relative but find peace with getting rid of the rest. If you sell the items, give the money to the deceased favorite charity.
This is an inevitable yet tough situation to think about- but you'll do yourself so much good if you do. Families benefit from planning. Do your part today.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Learn to Prepare
Learn to Prepare... and reap the rewards
As I spent the weekend working in my garden, a moment came where I was reminded of a recent conversation with a client on preparation. He and I were discussing preparations for next years busy season (he's a tax specialist). What could he do now to prepare for next year to ease his hectic work schedule. There was a list a mile long.
As I gardened, I realized that I could have organized my materials weeks or months in advance to make the most of the time I was spending planting and pruning. I would have rather spent all of my time enjoying the warm sunshine rather than rummaging through the basement and shed looking for those essentials that were somehow scattered amongst boxes, hangers and piles. I spent the winter months reading and writing- which are two of my loves- but I could have also carved out a little time to prepare.
What can you prepare for? What seasonal projects are at hand, personally or professionally that you can prepare for now? The prep time will likely make your "busy season" go smoother and make you feel more in control. Who doesn't love that?
Happy seeding.
As I spent the weekend working in my garden, a moment came where I was reminded of a recent conversation with a client on preparation. He and I were discussing preparations for next years busy season (he's a tax specialist). What could he do now to prepare for next year to ease his hectic work schedule. There was a list a mile long.
As I gardened, I realized that I could have organized my materials weeks or months in advance to make the most of the time I was spending planting and pruning. I would have rather spent all of my time enjoying the warm sunshine rather than rummaging through the basement and shed looking for those essentials that were somehow scattered amongst boxes, hangers and piles. I spent the winter months reading and writing- which are two of my loves- but I could have also carved out a little time to prepare.
What can you prepare for? What seasonal projects are at hand, personally or professionally that you can prepare for now? The prep time will likely make your "busy season" go smoother and make you feel more in control. Who doesn't love that?
Happy seeding.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Strengthen the Economy- one job at a time
We’ve all heard that we’re facing a recession. Whether to believe it or not is not the purpose of this blog. To see where you can impact your local economy is.
One. Recognize that spending habits have changed. People owe their lives to banks these days. How much do you have on credit cards? Yet, I bet you are still planning to take a nice holiday this year? I don’t fault you for that (I’m planning my own) but I do encourage you to evaluate your spending habits and your debt to income ratios very carefully. Make three commitments to yourself, your wallet and your responsibilities as to how you can improve over the next three months.
Two. Evaluate how you make money. What do you do best? And, how much time do you spend doing what you do best? I’ll bet that the thing that makes you the most money gets less than 25% of your time. For instance, say you have a job where your raise is based on you hitting your target. The more you surpass your target the more you make. If you just make your target you think you won, but I’d argue that you missed making more money by not going further. You probably got lost in (a) the target was too low and (b) you were spending your time pushing a lot of paper or running errands when you could have been out there making money with new clients.
So, how is this helping the economy you say? I’m getting there. It’s all about outsourcing. Outsource the things that you don’t do spectacularly. Outsource the things that take your time away from what you do well- and what makes your money grow. Spend a little to get more.
Hire a house cleaner. Hire a virtual assistant. Hire someone to wash your car once a week. Buy your time- literally, by paying for someone else’s.
Sure, I could do my taxes on my own but the time and aggravation are not worth it to me. I’d rather pay an expert in the field and then spend my time (and ease of mind) playing racquetball. Okay, Okay, so I don’t make money playing racquetball but I do build my confidence, keep myself in shape and have a great time doing it. All of that helps me to be my best when I face my clients- which does make me money.
Happy outsourcing. Happy Money. Happy Economy. Oh, and Happy Vacationing. Have one on me.
One. Recognize that spending habits have changed. People owe their lives to banks these days. How much do you have on credit cards? Yet, I bet you are still planning to take a nice holiday this year? I don’t fault you for that (I’m planning my own) but I do encourage you to evaluate your spending habits and your debt to income ratios very carefully. Make three commitments to yourself, your wallet and your responsibilities as to how you can improve over the next three months.
Two. Evaluate how you make money. What do you do best? And, how much time do you spend doing what you do best? I’ll bet that the thing that makes you the most money gets less than 25% of your time. For instance, say you have a job where your raise is based on you hitting your target. The more you surpass your target the more you make. If you just make your target you think you won, but I’d argue that you missed making more money by not going further. You probably got lost in (a) the target was too low and (b) you were spending your time pushing a lot of paper or running errands when you could have been out there making money with new clients.
So, how is this helping the economy you say? I’m getting there. It’s all about outsourcing. Outsource the things that you don’t do spectacularly. Outsource the things that take your time away from what you do well- and what makes your money grow. Spend a little to get more.
Hire a house cleaner. Hire a virtual assistant. Hire someone to wash your car once a week. Buy your time- literally, by paying for someone else’s.
Sure, I could do my taxes on my own but the time and aggravation are not worth it to me. I’d rather pay an expert in the field and then spend my time (and ease of mind) playing racquetball. Okay, Okay, so I don’t make money playing racquetball but I do build my confidence, keep myself in shape and have a great time doing it. All of that helps me to be my best when I face my clients- which does make me money.
Happy outsourcing. Happy Money. Happy Economy. Oh, and Happy Vacationing. Have one on me.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Coaching VS Therapy
I am often asked about the differences between coaching and therapy. I imagine that each coach and therapist would answer this question somewhat differently depending upon their approach and background. As a psychologist, researcher and business professional here is my answer to that very good question- from my perspective as a life coach.
Life Coaching
Foundation
o Goals and actions oriented
Frequency
o Daily, weekly or monthly
Focus
o Planned course of actions and steps
Duration
o Determined amount of time (average 3-6 months)
Approach
o Actions and mindset review
Location
o Flexible location or via telephone
Therapy
Foundation
o Thoughts and feelings oriented
Frequency
o Weekly, biweekly or Monthly
Focus
o Fluid and flexible sessions
Duration
o Long-term
Approach
o Varies, may involve medications
Location
o Therapist office appointments
Can you have both?
Yes, I sometimes work with clients who are already working with a therapist. Often these relationships are on-going and long-standing. Their bond and working relationship has developed to focus on various areas of their lives- typically from the angle of exploring their thoughts and feelings. My work is not meant in any way to interfere with that relationship or the progress taking place. In fact, coaching is meant to further develop the client’s progress and success by working with them on a step-by-step action plan to get them toward specific goal achievement. Doing so may require an interdisciplinary approach which could include both a therapist and a coach.
Life Coaching
Foundation
o Goals and actions oriented
Frequency
o Daily, weekly or monthly
Focus
o Planned course of actions and steps
Duration
o Determined amount of time (average 3-6 months)
Approach
o Actions and mindset review
Location
o Flexible location or via telephone
Therapy
Foundation
o Thoughts and feelings oriented
Frequency
o Weekly, biweekly or Monthly
Focus
o Fluid and flexible sessions
Duration
o Long-term
Approach
o Varies, may involve medications
Location
o Therapist office appointments
Can you have both?
Yes, I sometimes work with clients who are already working with a therapist. Often these relationships are on-going and long-standing. Their bond and working relationship has developed to focus on various areas of their lives- typically from the angle of exploring their thoughts and feelings. My work is not meant in any way to interfere with that relationship or the progress taking place. In fact, coaching is meant to further develop the client’s progress and success by working with them on a step-by-step action plan to get them toward specific goal achievement. Doing so may require an interdisciplinary approach which could include both a therapist and a coach.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Income Tax Checks are Coming! What will you do?
I was commenting to my boyfriend that I was surprised that someone who avoided spending money for the last 6 months was all of a sudden eager to do so (almost on fire to do so). I was perplexed at their sudden change of heart. He reminded me that it was income tax time and people are getting their checks. Oh, thats right. That short dialogue dictates this blogging moment.
As your refund check is being processed you are likely to have a few ideas as to how you'll spend it. Likely answers include a vacation, home improvement or paying off debt. Perhaps a hybrid of the three.
Where do YOU factor into your refund?
I suppose the vacation is for YOU and those you love. A well-earned treat to yourself to receive a little R & R. Thats good, although temporary and short-lived. You'll have the pictures.
A home improvement is a good idea. After all, you live there. You should be happy in your home. You spend a few hours a day there (after you subtract your commute, work hours, etc...). And, this is an investment in the property. Hopefully the market will turn for sellers when you are ready to sell and make good on your investment.
Paying off debt is a necessity. Most of us have it. And, our financial advisors (which I recommend everyone have) help us to see smart ways to pay it all off in a reasonable time period. But, while you are paying that off are you racking up more? (for another blog I suppose) Although paying down debt is an investment in self, in some way, its still not in line with what I'm going to advocate you do with your refund, or part of it anyhow.
Conventionally we know that we can spend 2.5 times our income on our home purchase; 25% of our monthly salary on our home and home related costs; 2 times our monthly salaries on engagement rings for the person we love; and give at least 10% (in love) to our church. So, how do we know how much to invest in ourselves? Who is supposed to tell us that? I will.
Quote me on this if you like.
I firmly believe you need to spend at least 15% of your salary on YOURSELF. This includes a gym membership (and you need to go), education (of any type- just learn something), health and wellness benefits (such as massage and nutrition), and self improvement (surprise, like coaching or reading a great book a month- and applying its lessons).
A recent Pittsburgh Business Times article noted that for every $1 invested by companies in employee wellness programs, they received $1.85 back in benefits (and the absence of lost work hours/days). By investing in yourself you'll enjoy your vacations and home more, earn more money and reduce your debt in smart ways.
Let me give you an example. When my wallet is tight I hit the gym more. Why? Because I'm paying for my membership whether I go or not. I may as well go. Going to the gym helps me to look and feel better. When my confidence is boosted and my stress is down I earn more money because I'm more attractive to prospective clients. We all win when I take care of myself.
The worst thing you can do for yourself is cut back on YOUR allowance when things get challenging. You have to ensure YOU are putting your best self forward to handle all of the other things. To do that you have to be in top shape (mind, body and soul).
So, when that check comes in, I challenge you to dedicate at least 15% of it to yourself. Take a class, join a gym, take a meditative retreat, join a book club- get a coach!
As your refund check is being processed you are likely to have a few ideas as to how you'll spend it. Likely answers include a vacation, home improvement or paying off debt. Perhaps a hybrid of the three.
Where do YOU factor into your refund?
I suppose the vacation is for YOU and those you love. A well-earned treat to yourself to receive a little R & R. Thats good, although temporary and short-lived. You'll have the pictures.
A home improvement is a good idea. After all, you live there. You should be happy in your home. You spend a few hours a day there (after you subtract your commute, work hours, etc...). And, this is an investment in the property. Hopefully the market will turn for sellers when you are ready to sell and make good on your investment.
Paying off debt is a necessity. Most of us have it. And, our financial advisors (which I recommend everyone have) help us to see smart ways to pay it all off in a reasonable time period. But, while you are paying that off are you racking up more? (for another blog I suppose) Although paying down debt is an investment in self, in some way, its still not in line with what I'm going to advocate you do with your refund, or part of it anyhow.
Conventionally we know that we can spend 2.5 times our income on our home purchase; 25% of our monthly salary on our home and home related costs; 2 times our monthly salaries on engagement rings for the person we love; and give at least 10% (in love) to our church. So, how do we know how much to invest in ourselves? Who is supposed to tell us that? I will.
Quote me on this if you like.
I firmly believe you need to spend at least 15% of your salary on YOURSELF. This includes a gym membership (and you need to go), education (of any type- just learn something), health and wellness benefits (such as massage and nutrition), and self improvement (surprise, like coaching or reading a great book a month- and applying its lessons).
A recent Pittsburgh Business Times article noted that for every $1 invested by companies in employee wellness programs, they received $1.85 back in benefits (and the absence of lost work hours/days). By investing in yourself you'll enjoy your vacations and home more, earn more money and reduce your debt in smart ways.
Let me give you an example. When my wallet is tight I hit the gym more. Why? Because I'm paying for my membership whether I go or not. I may as well go. Going to the gym helps me to look and feel better. When my confidence is boosted and my stress is down I earn more money because I'm more attractive to prospective clients. We all win when I take care of myself.
The worst thing you can do for yourself is cut back on YOUR allowance when things get challenging. You have to ensure YOU are putting your best self forward to handle all of the other things. To do that you have to be in top shape (mind, body and soul).
So, when that check comes in, I challenge you to dedicate at least 15% of it to yourself. Take a class, join a gym, take a meditative retreat, join a book club- get a coach!
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