What Make Women Happy...

A recent poll said that the happiest women do 3 things:

• cancel appointments for more "me" time
• don't always answer their phone and
• know how to say no

I love these women. I am one of them.

You must first harness the fact that you have to be well to serve others. Well means you have to be (or should very well be) healthy, happy, vibrant, optimistic, full of hope, ready to dive into the task, etc..... Serving others is what we do in our families, relationships, with our best friends, in our community, our professional positions...

You can't serve well when you are not taking good care of yourself.

Let me say it another way, no one gets the best of you if the best isn't even available.

So, reconsider over scheduling yourself. Remember you are not in emergency services and people shouldn't be able to reach you 24/7. Voicemail is a wonderful tool. Use it! And, please if you learn only one word this year, let it be NO. Say NO to that committee, task, job, trip and YES to you.

To Pantyhose or Not to Pantyhose?

Do you remember the chaos incited by the young women who wore flip flops to the White House? Well, there is an equal yet more career damning discussing underway- and has been underway for some time via whispers in the office. Should professional women have to wear pantyhose in the office? (The "have to" isn't meant to denote a written rule mind you.)

The issue has a number of strong opponents and proponents. One class you might not realize is that of our senior women in the workplace. Many of whom couldn't fathom a more unladylike issue pertaining to attire. (Well, they could really. But for the sake of this argument lets remain focused.)

Generational differences between working women can cause havoc in the workplace. Especially, if one of the seniors happens to be in charge of your performance evaluation- or have the ear of the person who is.

Dress, language, vehicle of correspondence (email versus formal letters- and don't mention mobile device "overuse or abuse"!) and aggressiveness (sometimes called assertiveness) are some of the areas where our senior and younger generations conflict.

The answer to wearing pantyhose in your workplace is ultimately up to you. I encourage you to (1) know yourself (2) know your boss/es (3) know your customers (4) recognize the workplace climate do's and don'ts (and consequences for not following them) and (5) talk with fellow employees about the issue (youth and seniors alike) to get their feedback.

The larger issue at hand here is opening the lines of communication between our senior and youth colleagues. Develop mentor programs that pair them up and foster healthy dialogue about workplace issues. Its like a good marriage, it may be spiked with a little conflict here and there but its all in how you handle the conflict that matters. Respect has to be a two-way street for it to work well.

For your information (FYI)- as a coach, business owner and confident woman, I choose to go pantyhose-free during the warm months. And, I never wear them with pants. In fact, I wear more pants in the colder months to avoid the circulation-denying, rubber band-ed-ness, itchy issue all together. ;)

Ladies Stay Away from Mr. Thomas

Lisa Speaking:
Whether its Clarence or Isaiah, sexual harassment in the workplace is a very real and very serious experience as well as an egregious accusation. Since joining the ranks of the working force, women have experienced sexual harassment. We also have cases of women filing erroneous cases of harassment for various motives. Someone could perceive harassment that isn’t there. And yet still others will continue to work in sexually harassing workplaces for many other reasons. I am also quite certain that the number of men being sexually harassed in the workplace will rise, as more women enter leadership positions and chose to behave inappropriately with or toward their male subordinates.

Sadly, I have to say that some of these experiences rise from the inability of women (collectively) to recognize how their own behaviors with male colleagues permits an environment which teeters on the border between “overly-friendly, girly, flirty…” to sexually inappropriate. These interactions make it difficult for other women to be respected in the workplace. Those women are often referred to as “prudes” if they don’t giggle, welcome glances at their legs or backsides and encourage language that, again, goes to the border of inappropriate. I do recognize that the balance is difficult. We shouldn’t have to be asexual when in the workplace but at the same time we are all responsible for our behaviors in the workplace. And, those behaviors contribute to the workplace environment that others are subjected to. Although the balance is hard, it doesn’t mean you can ignore it.

Your Coach Speaking:
Evaluate the climate in your own office. Are you on the border? How so?
How could what you say or how you behave be perceived as sexual harassment? (Really think about this before you say “it can’t”)
Are you being harassed in the office? If you think so, talk to two separate people about it (outside the office). What do they say? Seek help if you need it. It may require you setting more limits or having a casual conversation with the person involved. It doesn’t have to rise to the level of legal action in many cases.
Are you the sex kitten I refer to above, who men in the office love? Could you be supporting an environment that offends and harasses others? You may not care- until you are called into the courtroom – or loose your job.

Act responsibly and professionally at all times. We are all counting on you.