Blinkers are Good Indicators

Part rant. Part lesson.

I am not surprised but still disheartened when I witness bad driving habits. I am angered when those habits border on causing serious injury to someone.

This happens often but is still somewhat humorous to me:
I'm driving along on a 4-lane street. I can tell from my neighbor driver (parallel to me) that they want over, not because their blinker (turn signal) is on, but by the way they are aggressively looking at me and feverishly braking or speeding up (they change their mind and speed every 3 seconds)! I like to think that I am many things to many people. But, a mind reader, sir or madam, I am not! Nor, should I have to read your other signals to know what it is you intend to do. That is in fact, what the great blinker was made for. Use it!

Another day. Another experience.
I was driving somewhere at 6 AM. The only other fool on the road happened to be on my back bumper as though we were in a demolition derby. They were in such a rush I thought they were literally going to run me over. The only person who has a right to drive that way, in my opinion, is someone with emergency lights on their vehicle. Where was he so anxious to go? The gas station. No joke. He pulled into the gas station as I sat at the light. Rather than chance an accident- how about getting up 10 minutes earlier and making the world a little safer? I know I sometimes come up with wild ideas. Just try me.

I think that blinkers are good indicators as to your personality. I believe that people who don't use them believe they are better than everyone else. They think they are better drivers and don't need to use them. They also speed more than those who use their blinkers. The aggression and arrogance seep out in other arenas too. They are in a hurry (yes, their time is more valuable than ours- didn't you know) and they have no problem angering or frightening you to help them move along at a more acceptable pace. (I know, now I sound like I'm 100 years old.)

Do you want to hire these people? Do you want to have them watch your children or coach them? Is one your boss?

I'm a blinker user (full disclosure: 98% of the time). And, I'm proud of it. I'm honest, respectful, cautious and mindful of others, and I don't believe my journey should seriously impact another person. I am NOT in emergency services. I shouldn't drive like I am.

I welcome blinkers in my life. I encourage non-blinkers to anger management and true leadership training. They have a lot of great qualities we can harness once we get them under control.

Thanks for allowing the rant and lesson within. Don't be a non-blinker. Its ugly.

The Nuts to Networking

If you are new to networking, don't worry. It gets easier.

Here are some of the essentials to networking:

1. Identify your business in 60 seconds. This is called your "commercial". You should be able to effectively engage another business owner with what you say. The key is to be (a) interesting and (b) helpful in conveying what you do. You want them to ask you questions about your business. The commercial shouldn't be so vague they don't know what to ask- or worse, they don't want to ask anything. You can talk about a perfect client or a special you are featuring. You can tell a very short story about who would need your services. Have fun with it and try out different commercials or "60 seconds".
2. Identify three great networking events per month to attend (or more). A great networking event will attract other business owners that you want to get to know. They may have a similar client base as you do. If you sell office supplies to large companies you don't want to go to a networking group with all home-based businesses. Do some investigative work so that you make the best use of your time. Some networking groups meet weekly and others meet monthly. The more frequently you meet the more you are likely to get to know each other- which is where business will start to happen. So, don't be afraid to go more often.
3. If the thought of going into a room of people frightens you to death, take a partner. Introduce each other. Be bold. Be friendly. Networking is part of business. Get out there!
4. Each month identify 4 people you want to get to know better. Meet them for coffee and learn about each others businesses.
5. Repeat

Networking is easier for some than it is for others. Don't worry. It gets easier as you do it. And, the rewards to doing it well are endless.

Fight the Blues Anyway You Can

Don't lose sight of what is important. Don't fall off track.

The easiest way to stay focused is to use your time and spend your time remaining positive about yourself and your goals. Don't allow negativity (about the economy, conflict between others, etc...) to alter your plan.

Remind yourself of your goals daily. First thing in the morning, spend a few minutes saying what matters most to you on this day. Reaffirm your dedication to your goals by saying them one by one. Remember how wealthy you are (richness is not measured in dollars but the quality of our fabric- and those we have in our circles).

Ignore the negative stimuli that seems to surround us on a daily basis in the paper, on the television, in the idle chat our our colleagues, etc.... Avoid it.

You can easily be consumed with negativity IF you allow yourself to be. Equally as easy, is blocking that stimuli from consuming you.

You choose.

Hygiene in the Workplace: It Matters

Last week I was shopping at a major retailer for business supplies. What I witnessed prompted this weeks blog.

I'm far from a germophobe- you can ask my friends and family. However, I realize that the world is getting more health conscious. People are paying attention to illness origin and germs more than they ever have before. Companies have moved to the motto- if you are sick, stay home. That has become an order to promote faster healing as well as keeping the healthy workforce healthy.

The cashier at this major chain had a chronic cough- every 5 seconds she was coughing. Sometimes she'd cover her mouth, other times she wouldn't. She then began picking at her lips with her fingers- a nervous habit or one out of boredom. She was using these same fingers to punch details into the cash register, take my credit card, and touch my purchases. Yuck. Even I was offended. She told me to have a great day. I told her that I hoped she would feel better. And, she looked at me as though I was crazy. Maybe she felt great.

Business owners beware. Part of your training needs to include hygiene and illness. What are employees to do when they are sick? How sick? What behaviors are acceptable in the workplace and not so. We are all familiar with hygiene and behaviors in the food industry. Let's set many of those same standards in other workplaces to foster better business, happier employees and customers, and a healthier environment.

Here's to your health.

"I'll do that later." The Procrastinator's Theme

This week I was at a corporation delivering a talk on stress reduction. An employee approached me and asked what advice I have for the chronic procrastinator.

If you have trouble "doing something now" and always seem to "put off til tomorrow.... or tomorrow's tomorrow..." here are a few simple suggestions to getting it done.

List those things you are putting off.
List those things you'll do right away (scheduling a spa day, grabbing lunch, hitting the happy hour circuit, etc...)
Assign a pairing of something you put off and something you have no problem doing such as... I will make 5 calls and THEN I can go to lunch.
Or, make it a string of things to do before enjoying a pleasurable item or event ... I will do three things (list them specifically) on my list before I get to schedule my weekend.

Be disciplined. Be on top of all of the things on your list- including those you don't like.

Don't put off til tomorrow those things you've been doing so for a month. Drop it completely or get it done.

Put on Your Consumer Vision

I often speak to groups about networking and building a successful business.

It often surprises me that people fail to try to see things from a consumer aspect.

To build a successful business you need to offer three things:

1. Be there (in person, on mind, and at their fingertips) and ready to deliver
2. Make a favorable and lasting impression
3. Provide value (not the cheapest price!)

To do the above you have to look at your business from a consumer standpoint. You already think you do all three. But, do they? Why don't more think that of you and your business?

I challenge you to partner up with a fellow business professional (not your best friend) and offer to review each others businesses with your consumer vision or consumer goggles. It would go something like this:

• We each agree to spend 3 hours reviewing each others businesses over the next 30 days
• We will review the following materials or items: (examples) storefront, business cards, marketing materials, philosophy, presence in the community, etc...
• We will deliver a written report to each other on such a date when we meet for coffee. The report will include our impressions of the materials, recommendations and/or feedback on how to improve them and our overall impression of your business (in the three key aspects stated above in this blog).

Now, just because your business partner doesn't accept each recommendation doesn't mean the exercise was not valuable. Remember, business is not personal! You learned about your business from another persons perspective- and you offered your valuable insight to them on theirs. You've already won by doing the exercise.

Have You Overstayed Your Welcome?

Have you reached a plateau in your career with your current employer?
Have you found the last year to be unstimulating and/or sterile?
Do the years look the same?

Many people find themselves in the comfort of the "same old same old". Only, it really isn't comfortable we just convince ourselves that it is. And, given that change can sometimes be difficult- we make excuses to stay where we are even though we are no longer challenged at work.

Our work, our employment, is a significant piece of our lives. It should be empowering, stimulating, positive, life-fulfilling, and rewarding. It is essential that you recognize the signs when this is no longer the case. When that happens you have to be prepared to make a move.

Some of the things you can do:
Speak with your supervisor to see if there is a special project you can take on.
Evaluate your own performance- maybe the lack of stimulation is with you.
Look at the company offerings. Is there something you want?
Survey the industry in which you work. What is out there that excites you?
Evaluate your desire to switch industries. Are you ready? Where do you see yourself?
Update your resume for those opportunities you may want.


Don't stay in a dead end job. Don't let talk of a bad economy hold you back. Stop allowing excuses to rule your years.

Your current job may have served its role in your life. Now, its time to find your next adventure. That adventure may be as simple as a new project at work. Or, it could mean a life-changing switch in your career.

Save Yourself. Turn the TV Off. ... at least more often

One of the things I notice, changing about myself as I age, is my distaste for television and for people who spend hours watching it.

I've been there. I was the little kid who watched a lot of TV. I was the adult that would eat in front of the TV, as a single person living in an apartment. I would occasionally get caught up in sitcoms and drama series and watch as though it was a scheduled part of my day.

Then I realized that year after year the plots changed ever so slightly but I was in the same place. My growth and development, personally and/or professionally, was not enhanced one ounce by spending so much time watching television.

In my Dan Kennedy education I've learned about a quote that I've come to embody, "Poor people have big TVs; Rich people have big libraries." I believe it.

I advocate more reading, more socializing, more walks- less TV. When you do watch TV make it educational or TRUE entertainment once in a while. Don't allow it to take up more time than a part-time job with zero yield.

Advice to Calm the Nerves of a Chair

A business woman emailed me recently. Her email can be summed up as follows, "Help! I’m nervous about an upcoming event I am chairing."

Here was my response:

Without knowing the Chair's responsibilities (for this event) here are my general suggestions:

1. Speak to last years Chair about his/her experiences
2. Have all of the things prepared that you can well before hand (so they don't add worry as the day arrives)
- outfit, makeup, shoes (knowing you'll look fabulous will help you feel great)
- schedule leading up to event (including a wonderful relaxation or celebration period afterwards)
-try to get a hold of event agendas, speeches, names of others involved, etc...
3. Rehearse, Rehearse, Rehearse
4. Build yourself up to the moment/event by reading positive comments about you from others (clients, groups, etc...); listen to music that pumps you up or relaxes you (depending upon what you need); remind yourself that you've been chosen because of who you are (they really appreciate you and your work in the business community)

I believe most nervousness can be relieved by preparing and rehearsing.

You'll be and do great!

Think Ahead.... Planing to Age is Smart

Last year I consulted an attorney to design my will, health care directive and other important life and death documents. I also hired my first financial planner to coach me on the road to financial success. I'm 34.

Some of you may say I'm too young to be concerned with wills and such. I have no children, no husband, etc... However, I do have things that mean the world to me that I want to ensure follow my wishes after I die. And, I care about those who may be here well beyond me- and want this process to be easier on them. What would happen to my house? My book and the rights to it? My family linens? My dogs (aka children)?

And, yes, I know how to do a budget. I understand basic math. However, the financial planner if far more than that. He took the long and short view of my goals, my income, my debt. He created a plan that had multiple variables to consider and far better outcomes than I could have designed on my own. I feel better just having that plan to refer back to as I make financial decisions. And, he holds me accountable as we meet frequently. Something a good coach always does.

These thoughts entered my mind this morning after sharing last evening with a retirement community discussing my book, World War II Radio Heroes. I've been to dozens such communities over the last few months. Some higher quality than the others. As I imagine that one day I might be in one of them I realize how important it is to plan carefully. Its never too early to look decades ahead. But, its often too late when we get around to it.

Plan with confidence. Build your team of supporters (attorneys, financial planners, coaches, doctors, etc...) now for a better future.

Diet and Exercise.... repeat

Humans are typically smart creatures. Why then do we have the knowledge and power to change so many things but we don't. We ignore the prevailing information to stay in our current unhappy and unhealthy state.

Change is sometimes hard work. And, there is always tomorrow right?

I live this everyday myself. I go through moments of great change and then periods where little changes.

How many times do we hear "diet and exercise" are the key to loosing weight and staying healthy? We hear it often. We know its true. But, we still (many of us) fail to put in the work and dedication required to do better in both areas- consistently.

That is where a partner comes in. Having a partner elevates our efforts and helps to keep us motivated (and honest).

A dear friend was gearing up for her nuptials a year ago. She wanted to lose weight. So, we started a friendly little wager- for a nice gift- to see who could loose the most in 2 months. We have the same weaknesses and the same knowledge about what it takes (and neither of us will go extreme routes to win this battle)- so let the game begin. We sent daily logs of what we were eating- and how much. We had weekly weigh-in's. It was great. We connected more than usual. We helped each other tweak our diet and exercise routines. We motivated each other. It proved that having an ally in achieving your goal goes a lot further than doing it alone.

Find a partner in your path to achievement. Challenge a colleague who wants something similar to you. Become a team in making great things happen. And, never stop being smart about what it takes. For health.... its diet and exercise.

Revising the Plans of Life

I can recall being a teenager and laying out some of my future plans. Ironically, college wasn't one of them for this small-town south central PA girl. Falling in love was- to a gorgeous and hard working perfect man. I was also planning to have two children by the time I was 28.

"Wow," is all that I can say when I think back to that plan. Maybe a little "what was I thinking?" too.

Fast forward almost 20 years. I'm 34 (35 next month). I've completed both college and graduate school and have a resume that is 2 pages, condensed. The children never came along. And the perfect man hasn't either. I've realized perfection was a bit far fetched. (smile)

I've watched dear friend realize my original plan. And, I've had the pleasure to live vicariously through them- as they have through me on my very different journey.

I believe planning is great. I think goals drive us to live better. I also believe we can be headed down a path that isn't right for us at times. A wise person will analyze their plan for appropriateness at regular intervals. Is is still the right way to go? Why or why not? Revise when and if necessary.

Don't fail to realize when your path needs readjustments. Don't get caught up in "oh, but for 10 years I've wanted this, so it HAS to happen....". Be smarter than that. Stubbornness and laziness will lead you to fail every time. Don't confuse being driven, goal oriented and focused with being resistant to diversions. A great person who is all of those things also has the ability to revisit the plan, revise and reset the path.

At 34 I dedicated myself to revisiting the more social aspects of my life (versus academic and professional). I'm delighted each day I get to walk in my new path- that came a few decades behind my original plan.

Have fun with your path. Don't take it too seriously that you fail to see the larger pictures.

Email Overload?

"Would you like to join my mailing list?" How often do you hear this?

Worse is when merchants and vendors invite you to join a contest to disguise them adding you to their mailing list. I really hate this. I'd rather you just ask me.

I have two mailing lists- one for my coaching clients and others interested in coaching topics and another for my book fans, World War II Radio Heroes: Letters of Compassion (www.powletters.com). People choose to join them.

Occasionally someone will say, "oh, another list- I can't. I'm overwhelmed with lists and emails and the phone calls...."

Here's my recommendation to clean up your lists:

1. Look at each list that lands in your email for 30 days.
2. Do you even look at the email? If not, opt out (there is opt out instructions within the email, usually at the bottom).
3. What do you gain from the email? If nothing or little, opt out.


When considering joining a new list:

1. Find out if its email, postal mail or telephone calls that you'll receive from being on the list.
2. Is the list shared with like-merchants, vendors?
3. How often will you expect to receive correspondence?
4. What is your goal for being on the list? What do you hope to get out of it? (write it down)
5. When you get it- will you read it? If not, don't join on the assumption that you'll find time to read it someday.

The same guidance above goes for telephone calls that you receive from merchants. If you don't want to receive them anymore, request to be taken off their list (document that call) and ask how you got on their list to begin with (to follow up with other merchants/vendors).

Opting out can be the best thing you do to decrease your overload. Only opt in when you see the benefit to a list- and will take the time to read or enjoy it when it comes out.

A Story of Heartbreak and Dedication

I hope that you got to see the Olympics last evening. In the men’s relay they dropped the baton on one of the passes, thus disqualifying team USA. The heartbreak was written all over Tyson Gay’s face when he realized the pass didn’t happen.

The women’s relay then experienced the same devastation. Lauryn Williams, who failed to accept a pass in the previous Olympics, dropped the baton on the pass. Everyone knew she and the Americans were again disqualified. But, Williams returned to pick it up and then ran to the finish anyway. In her interview she twice said, “I HAD to finish.”

I encourage you to accept and overcome the disappointments that come along with working hard towards your goals. Don’t stop just because it can’t be perfect. Finish what you started. You’ll be glad you did.

Turning Trouble Into Gold

You can't hide from Michael Phelps mania. And, you shouldn't want to. He's a star!

The lesser known story of how he got into swimming, however, is equally fascinating. As a youth, Michael's mom found him to have far more energy than other youth. She couldn't fill his time with the right activities to keep him engaged and satisfied. He was diagnosed with a hyperactivity disorder.

She enrolled him in swim class. Soon after his coach came to her and said he has Olympic potential and he'd (coach) like to work with him more. And, here we are 8 gold medals later.

What I love about this story is not only the hope he gives to all of us for achieving our dreams- but the hope his story gives to us for turning difficulties into vehicles to shine.

What are your challenges? How can you turn them into success?

Do You Believe in the Possibilities?

I hope you all have heard of Dana Torres. She’s won 10 Olympic medals and is participating in her fifth Olympics this year in China. She’s 41. She won one of her gold medals 15 months after giving birth to her first child. At the age of 40 she beat her own American record (twice) for 50 m freestyle, set at the age of 15.

To think she has competed against and beat out swimmers half her age is simply awesome. To see that she has gotten better with age and is able to accomplish feats at 40 she couldn’t do at 15 is extraordinary.

She’s my hero this week. How about yours?

Purging is Sexy!

Whether its clothes, china, office supplies or data- inventory it, clean it up, and throw it out!

You'll feel lighter, more organized and productive moving forward.

How much stuff is in your home or office that you haven't touched in more than 2 years? Get rid of it! Think of it this way, would you pay to have those items stored at $40 a month? If not, get it out of there and into the hands of someone else who will use it or allow it to squat in their space- not yours!

When I assist people in reorganizing their spaces they often are amazed at what we find- they say, "that's where that went!" or "I forgot I had that!". Good. Keep forgetting. Its going in the bin.

Purge different spaces in your home often.

I purge clothing several times a year- if it hasn't been worn it gets a few more weeks of reprieve. If I still don't wear it- it goes in the bin (rubbish bin or donation bin).

I purge office materials twice per year.

Get the family involved. Ask each family member to donate 20% of their clothing or other goods by looking at what they don't use/wear. Its a nice way to be reminded of how much you have and how much you can assist others who have less. And, bonus- you reclaim your space!

Purging is sexy. Now get in there and just do it!

Women and Internships. Stop the madness.

This blog has nothing to do with women taking part in their own internships. Rather, it is about the dozens of women I have known and worked with who take on the nurturing relationships in their firms (running the internship program) without any benefit.

Stop it.

Stop doing things that yield no additional pay, no mention on your performance review (other than a sentence that is NEVER tied to your salary increase or promotion potential).

I work with clients who want to be on top. They want to be the #1 in their company. Guess what? You need to be a little selfish for that position.

I advise them to become a little selfish- for ONE year- and NOT take on their pet projects in the office that don't DIRECTLY relate to their placement on the totem pole.

Focus on you. Focus on your performance in the role you've been hired for and the role/s you WANT.

Ladies, don't become the nurturer, helper, sitter, g0-to for non-essentials, etc.... Unless it is your primary role and the way that you make money. Its a thankless position (most of the time). Its not a top-performer role. It won't get you to #1 in the company.

Stop taking on the internship program because you are a good person- and "somebody has to". Let that somebody be somebody else.

Where is Your Gold Medal?

Will you be watching the 2008 Olympics staring 08/08/2008?

If so, you'll see men and women who are at the peak of their careers going for the gold. They are the best of the best. They've worked many years to get to where they are. The world will be watching them to see if they succeed or miss the mark.

I enjoy the Olympics for that very reason. I love to support others (even if only from my couch in my living room) and cheer them on. I also love the Olympics because of the way it related to my own life. I'm far from being in top physical condition. I've never won physical challenges in my life. However, I have worked ever so hard on things - for years at a time - and had my work culminate in a win or loss in a matter of minutes. I've desperately wanted for things to happen in my life. I've known both success and failure at things that seemed to mean the world to me (at the time).

What would your gold medal be for? What is it that you strive for? What does a win look and feel like for you at this point in your life?

Do you want to have a baby more than anything? Do you want to be more valued at work? Are you struggling to finish a 10-year task?

Make this Olympic period be yours. Decide what gold you are going for. Train for it. Work at it. Develop your cheering section. Make it happen. These sorts of achievements can be once in a lifetime. Go for it!

Do You Take Responsibility for Other People's Actions?

Recently, I've been disturbed by the level of irresponsibility that exists. However, I'm not talking about on an individual level. I hope that we all accept individuals should be responsible for their actions (well, most individuals there are a few exceptions depending upon age and mental capacity). My upset has been more with the powers that oversee individuals, whether it be a company, a governmental agency, etc...

Your employees/contractors/volunteers... represent you. Your employees/contractors/volunteers... represent your company/city/board... Across all pay ranges and all titles you need to make sure these individuals are acting in a manner that you can be proud of (and bank on). YOU are at risk if they are not. Your company/city/board...is at risk if they are not.

You MUST have strong training programs in place (again, at all levels for everyone). You MUST have frequent examinations (by an outside or unknown party) to test that this training has been implemented. And, you MUST take immediate action when you identify an individual that is not upholding the mission, vision, and values of your work. There are no exceptions.

Remember, the smallest most insignificant interaction to you (or your employee) can turn a potential life-long customer/fan to your competitor. And, they will take all of their friends with them.

Is your "house" in order? Make it a priority for the next 90 days. You'll thank me for it.