Women can be the Worst Offenders!

Women support one another. Recognize the benefit of uplifting one another. Give to gain. It works.

I remember the first time I encountered professional jealousy and attack from a woman in the workplace. I’ll never forget it.

I had the wonderful fortune for working for a “class act” supervisor, Matt, in a majority male environment. That wasn’t odd for me; in fact, it was common for the roles and fields I chose. He was exemplary. He fostered both my personal and professional growth. He gave me opportunity and responsibility. He trusted my judgment while cultivating my skill-set. He was a Marine. And, I was a 24 year old out of college for just a year. He sent me around the country representing our service organization to veterans, active-duty personnel, families and the defense department at large. I met by day with epidemiologists and conducted town-hall meetings in the evenings.

One day I heard some commotion in the hallway. It was one of our senior “secretaries” yelling at Matt. (We still used the language “secretary” back then.) She was a very seasoned woman who had been at the firm for 20+ years. She worked her way up to being the secretary for a director. Matt was an assistant director. This was his boss’ secretary. I heard her telling him that I should be answering his phones and writing his letters, doing his copying, etc…. He kept saying, “No, she doesn’t do that. She’s not my admin. She’s not my secretary. She’s one of my staff.” Their voices escalated. He walked off in a huff as did she. The conversation never came up again. I went about my duties as normal- likely flying out to a new destination that afternoon.

It was this experience that taught me that women can be our worst offenders and holding us to a particular place- even if it isn’t where we belong.

Honestly, it transcends male or female-ness. I titled the blog that due to my personal experiences and observances. But, it is sex-less. Men and women hold each other down for no good reason other than it makes them feel better. It helps them stay stagnate to demand that you do too. These offenders don’t want you to reach ranks that they can’t or don’t aspire too.

Are you one of them? If so, change your ways. Focus on YOU. You’ll gain a lot from doing so. You’ll be happier and healthier. Not to mention a far better colleague. Learn to support rather than present obstacles.

Do you know one of them? Stay clear of them. Focus on YOU. Work closely with your supervisor and your support team to identify your next steps. Ignore their attacks. If need be, address the interruptions with their supervisor (after making it clear to them that you find their actions/behaviors distracting and unsupportive).

Go Women Go! Don’t make excuses and don’t be someone else’s excuse! Climb that ladder. And, don’t kick another woman’s rungs out from under her.

Women and Internships. Stop the madness.

This blog has nothing to do with women taking part in their own internships. Rather, it is about the dozens of women I have known and worked with who take on the nurturing relationships in their firms (running the internship program) without any benefit.

Stop it.

Stop doing things that yield no additional pay, no mention on your performance review (other than a sentence that is NEVER tied to your salary increase or promotion potential).

I work with clients who want to be on top. They want to be the #1 in their company. Guess what? You need to be a little selfish for that position.

I advise them to become a little selfish- for ONE year- and NOT take on their pet projects in the office that don't DIRECTLY relate to their placement on the totem pole.

Focus on you. Focus on your performance in the role you've been hired for and the role/s you WANT.

Ladies, don't become the nurturer, helper, sitter, g0-to for non-essentials, etc.... Unless it is your primary role and the way that you make money. Its a thankless position (most of the time). Its not a top-performer role. It won't get you to #1 in the company.

Stop taking on the internship program because you are a good person- and "somebody has to". Let that somebody be somebody else.