How We are Effected by What is Around Us

I was walking home yesterday from an appointment. I like to walk and the mile or so from point A to point B is usually very pleasant. But yesterday it was different. It was raining and a little chilly. That in and of itself wouldn’t have bothered me. The trouble came when you added other people to the mix. People in cars who were in a hurry to get nowhere.

The speed limit on the road I was on is 35 mph. I imagine the cars were doing at least 50 mph- in the rain. The sidewalk distance to the road varies from 1 foot to 5 feet. As the cars are racing past me, I felt my blood pressure rise. I realized I was becoming angry at how senseless they were being (to me at least). The real winner was the guy who hit a huge puddle right beside me. I refrained from yelling.

The dangerousness of the situation aside, the visual and auditory stimuli of this situation unnerved me. The same way I hate to be awoken from sleep with a loud or jarring noise (I believe most of us feel this way).

Ironically, I had just been to a domestic abuse meeting that day. As I listened to the educators I thought specifically about the verbal and emotional abuse that people live with everyday in their homes and workplaces. That constant berating and negativity takes a strong hold on your psyche and chips away at it little by little.

That meeting and my experience walking home have more in common than you might think. It’s about putting yourself (or allowing yourself) to be in constantly detrimenting situations- whether you realize it or not. I could have ignored my blood pressure rising and my anger building on that walk. But I didn’t. I identified it and then began trying to see how I could remedy it. The easiest answer is to not take that same walk/path again due to the nature of the speeding cars. It’s a shame. I’ll miss the beauty that also comes with that walk as I pass the park and forest. But, a little bit of beauty at a dangerous price is no prize. There is a lesson in life.

Spahr Happenings...

Wow! We are coming off of one of our busiest weeks of the year.


Last week we toured the Pittsburgh area visiting with Redstone Highlands in North Huntingdon, Seneca Manor in Verona, the hosts of Word FM and KDKA Today Live, and began our journey to Bethlehem PA.

In Bethlehem we visited with the residents of Country Meadows and then had a sold-out book signing at the Moravian Book Shop, the oldest book shop in the country. We met up with our family and celebrated Thanksgiving early. We stayed at the Historic Hotel Bethlehem and even got to visit JustBorn, where peeps are made! (My mom loves Peeps!) It was a wonderful trip- from the people, to the food, the shopping and the history! On our way back, we stopped to pay our respects at Fort Indiantown Gap National Cemetery.

Now, we’re back to our busy lives in Pittsburgh. I’m hosting the Champions Conference call next week, on goal setting and achievement. Guests can join us for $20 live or listen to the recording at their leisure. We’re also preparing to close 2009 with a few more book talks, the release of our new book: The Coach’s Guide to Wedding Planning, and prepare for 2010. We expect it to be another great year with new milestones!

Author Interview on KDKA Pittsburgh Today Live

Celebrating Veterans Day this week, I was honored to be on KDKA's Pittsburgh Today Live show. View the show segment here: http://kdka.com/video/?id=65063@kdka.dayport.com

Honey’s Story

Post-Gazette.com

Here’s a good story for you. Honey was a shelter dog, described as black and white, who gave birth to a litter of 6 pups. She was splashed over dozens of print and through other media as she stepped up, or the shelter offered her up, to serve as a surrogate to nine African painted dog pups at the Pittsburgh Zoo, when their own mother died while giving birth.

Go honey go! I imagine she is quite tired after serving two families.

What a wonderful story. Not just for Honey. But, for shelter dogs everywhere. And, for us. It doesn’t matter your pedigree nor your social status in the way you can give- and be recognized. We should all heed this call.

Can you imagine how many people now want to adopt Honey? You see when someone, or something, is brought to the limelight we pay more attention. When people, or in this case Honey, does a good deed- we watch and applaud.

What “Honey-like” thing have you done lately? How have you served others, those unrelated to you?

Let’s all be like Honey. No matter where we came from. No matter what our current status. Let’s stand up, do something wonderful and welcome the recognition. It could change our world.

For more on the story see: http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/09308/1010601-455.stm

Failed Systems and Positive Reinforcement

I was really appalled by the tragic story of a young woman being attacked at her high school dance in Richmond California the other week. As a psychologist I am familiar with, although do not condone, the social workings of individuals in groups who watch crimes but do not report them nor help the victim. It was such a heinous crime with so many opportunities for people to do the right thing, and they all failed. I applaud the young woman who finally notified authorities when she heard people talking about the crime. She did the right thing.

But, as I was reading about the case a few statistics popped out at me. According to a report from CBS News (linked in this blog title), Richmond High School has a truancy rate of 69% AND had 19 student murders last year. You can read that again if you need to. It bears re-reading.

Now, if this isn’t a “failed state” or entity I haven’t yet seen one. This is a broken system. The billion dollar question is what do you do with a poor system?

What would you do if your business was broke? Your family wasn’t working? I am hoping the answer is to realign the priorities and make sure the members are on board. Bring in the experts to fix the problem. Who the experts are is a matter for another book, let alone blog.

The answer is NOT to positively reinforce school failure with dances and other unnecessary social elements when the basics of education are not being met. We do not need to throw gold stars at failing systems. I was sickened to read one school official quoted as saying the “dance was a success”. Ask the victim if she agrees with that.

(If I were Queen for a day) I would recommend this school be taken over immediately, by some entity- we can argue which one- that can instill order and ensure that students are afforded the basic necessities of a good education: safety, books and materials, teachers, counselors, discipline and order, respect, a learning environment, etc… All other elements are unnecessary.

Wow. You might be saying. You’re tough! I am. I am also the product of an alternative school. My high school had only the necessary elements listed above. We didn’t have dances. We didn’t have sports teams and mascots. We didn’t have elements that set people up for failure (including events that attract drinking and trespassers). We had books, teachers, and a whole lot of learning. We all chose to be there for 3 to 6 hours a day and then most of us went to work somewhere for the remainder of the day. If you missed 3 days (without a medical excuse) you were out. Out. You couldn’t come back. Yes, this was a public school.

Don’t reward failed states, failed systems. It’s adding fuel to the fire. Get control of what you can. Find others to do what you can’t.

Know your numbers. 69% truancy is not something to be proud of.

Celebrate Veterans Day the Whole Month Long!

Although I am really fired up about the gang rape at Richmond High School, and have a few strong opinions on the matter, I'll save that for my next blog entry. Today, I have happier news to share....

November is such a great month to celebrate our veterans, their families and the communities that support them. Thank you to all.

I was meeting with our book team last week and I could barely keep track of all of our articles, events, leads, etc... This is a wonderful problem to have. Therefore, I wanted to share some of our upcoming events and invite you to join us live, on the internet or in spirit. Nevertheless, I hope you join your local festivities in celebration of Veterans Day this month.
To name just a few:

November 3rd Three Veterans, Three Stories: Three Lives of Service at the John A. Brashear Lodge No. 743 6:30 PM

November 11th KDKA Pittsburgh Today Live - I'll be interviewed between 9 and 10 AM (watch or view later online at http://kdka.com/ptl)

November 11th Introduction to Veteran’s Entrepreneurship 9 AM-12:30 PM (I won't be there personally but think the world of the two veterans putting it on)

November 14th the oldest book shop in the country, the Moravian, in Bethlehem PA for a book signing and discussion 1-3 PM

December 5th the Heinz History Center Author Book Fair from 10 AM- 1 PM

I'm on Facebook and use it more and more as time goes on to keep in touch with everyone. I have a group for World War II Radio Heroes: Letters of Compassion (my book) and encourage everyone to post relevant discussions and post events to the site. I also have a page for our wildly successful Champions Series. Champions and friends will be welcome to post discussions and events there as well. This is particularly exciting for the Champions who don't live in Pittsburgh or find it challenging to make our events. Please friend me on Facebook and join our respective groups. We welcome you.

I also have a newsletter for those who want to follow our book events and activities and a separate newsletter, the Living Better Newsletter, for those who want to liver happier and strike greater balance in their lives. You can join both or one or the other by clicking on the link on the right under my picture with Lou.

Finally, we are also offering 10% off any purchases made on our website for the month of November to celebrate service. www.powletters.com

Wishing you a wonderful November and December as we wind down 2009. I hope you have had a successful year and are enjoying all that life has to offer.

If you need more information about any of these events just email me.

Don’t Make it Hard for Me to Give You My Money

I am often amazed at how companies and people make it hard to donate or buy goods and services. Take this example, from my experience this week:

A monumental endeavor was underway in Pittsburgh to offer donors matching funds one one day, for a 30 minute window. I’m in! I love stuff like this. Great marketing. Great buzz. Get people excited. And, a good way to promote giving- particularly as we embark on the holidays and charities are feeling a squeeze. Great set up.

Ok. So, I do all of my homework ahead of time. I picked my charity. I created my sign on. I put in on my calendar.

I sat at my work station 10 minutes before the big event waiting…. I signed on and at 2 minutes past the hour I made my sizable donation. My donation, by the way, will serve as my holiday giving it its entirely. I decided to donate all of my usual holiday spending rather than buy gifts few will even remember next year.

Here’s where the trouble comes in. I signed on minutes before the big event to be ahead of the game. I made my donation on the minute that the match was to begin. But, I never got a confirmation that my donation was matched. I did get a confirmation and receipt of my donation but no sign that it was in fact matched, which was the whole reason for giving via this particular site on this day and time. Otherwise, I would have walked it to my charity of choice and avoided the 5% processing fee.

I emailed the host site/organization (not my charity) asking how donors would know that their contributions were matched.

I got a response apologizing for my frustration (I wasn’t frustrated, just curious, at this point) for not being able to sign in (not my question).

I emailed them again, highlighting that their response didn’t match my question. I successfully signed in and donated. I was just wondering how we’d know for sure our money was matched.

I got a response telling me that they couldn’t access my private credit card information and I’d have to speak to another agency about that. (again, not my question)

Bottom Line: I’ll never donate using that methods, site, and organization again. Simple.

The Red Flags: They didn’t have a good system in place to finish the game (people want to know they WON a match by signing on early and donating in minutes). Further, they didn’t read the emails sent to them by donors well enough to offer an accurate or thoughtful response. And, they tried to pass me on to another agency entirely. Bad. Bad. Bad.

What I’ll do next time: Hand deliver my check to my charity of choice and look for other more reliable matching methods.

Companies Beware: You need to make it easy for people to give you their money. If you hype something up and make it a game, follow through with the hype and let them know they are a winner! Who wants to run a race and not know where they placed?!

And, take the extra time to READ the emails your customers send you and then respond. If not, you’ll lose your customers, as is the case here.

A Very Special Veteran's Day Program- Join us in Pittsburgh November 3, 2009

This is a photo of my grandmother, Kathryn, and my grandfather, Robert. He was a POW in WWII, held for 26 months. I had the opportunity to get to know my grandmother through the age of 5 and my grandfather through 12. I'll cherish those memories.

I have been invited, thus I am inviting you, to share in a wonderful Veterans Day Program celebration on November 3rd at a local Masonic Lodge. I hope you will consider joining me in thanking our veterans, their families and their supporters for a job well done.

On Tuesday, November 3, 2009 John A. Brashear Lodge No. 743 will conduct a new kind of Veterans Day celebration. Typically we commemorate the day in many of the traditional ways we see in our communities. This year’s program is titled Three Veterans, Three Stories: Three Lives of Service. Our speakers will share their stories of veterans who touched their lives and how they’ve turned to serving thousands through their life’s work. Speakers include Lisa Spahr, author of World War II Radio Heroes; Sgt. Lee Wagner, USMC; and Summer Tissue, Founder of Military Connections.

We will welcome ladies and non masons to this event, in conjunction with the theme of the program. The program will run from 6:30 PM to approximately 9 PM.

Evening Proceeds and Donations will be made to Military Connections, a non-profit organization that ships equipment, care packages, and supplies to troops stationed overseas. The holiday season is fast approaching and many of our Soldiers and Marines do not receive care packages from anyone, but Military Connections, who ships over 900 care packages a month. Over 700 of the troops on the Military Connection mailing list have no family or friends to send them a box. We want to ensure that they are not forgotten. This year, Military Connections is attempting to ship over 10,000 filled Christmas stockings to the troops. Each stocking costs $30 to fill and ship. Any support we receive for this project will boost morale at an especially difficult time.

Masons through history have supported their countries through military service, and they have been privileged to support the contributions of our veterans through the years. This year we are pleased to broaden our focus to the family and the community at large, and recognize their sacrifice. We grow as citizens through our families, and draw strength from the support of our communities. This will be the focus of our celebration for Veteran’s Day.

"Why are there Socks in Your Purse?"

Throughout the year I take stock in all that I have. Doing so allows me to limit the “I want…” language and increase the “I have …” Usually at the top of my list is some reference to my mental faculties. I’m sure that being a psychologist has given me the special gift of appreciation for mental stability that most people take for granted. Waking each day and being able to make choices about my life, with some sense of clarity I hope, gives me joy. Its part of why I coach others. Some lose sight of their choices or they feel overwhelmed by them. I help remedy those situations.

Along those lines is the wonderful ability to learn. So many of us stop learning or at least actively doing it or practicing it. We get into routines that direct our lives without much thought or creativity. Think about it…. What is the last thing you learned? What have you changed about your habits or routine?

The socks… I’m getting there.

So, the other week I was preparing for a doctors visit, the OB-GYN to be specific. (I can hear the groans now. Don’t stop reading. The story is clean I assure you.) I am always cold at the doctor’s office- no matter which office, no matter which city I’ve lived. I’m always cold. Yet, it was warm outside, warranting light clothing, sandals, no hose or socks. It was as though the “aha” light bulb went off. I could take socks with me! It was like a best girlfriend was yelling it from the heavens. What a novel idea! Take what you’ll need to comfort yourself later. Brilliant.

I’ve been going to the doctor and shivering, much of my life. Why now, at 36, did it dawn on me to take socks? Who cares! It did. The fact is that I identified a problem and then figured it out! Who cares that I was a little late in doing so. You know what they say…. Better late than…

I suggest you try to find solutions to the pains that exist in your life and your activities. Think beyond the routine. The solutions may be simple, as mine was, or it could be wildly creative and complex. Use your brain. Be thankful for it and its abilities. It’s a beautiful thing.

Keys to Motivation

Last week I had the distinct pleasure to speak to the Volunteer Administrators of Southwestern Pennsylvania (VASP) at their annual Super-Conference. There are those conferences that stand out in my years of doing this and VASP will definitely be one of them. The audience was filled with volunteers and paid professionals who help run social service and emergency assistance agencies nationwide. These are the people that get the job done- and many of them do it with non-paid volunteers who work around the clock. All of us owe them a hearty thank you for the work they do.

I spoke with them about motivation. The highlights from the talk are:

• Be what you want others to be (and do what you want others to do)
  One woman mentioned cleaning the toilets at a local park where she organized a huge walk-a-thon. She knew that if volunteers didn’t have a clean area to rest they would be unlikely to come back. There was no job too little for her to do to ensure the mission was carried out. You must lead by example.
  
• Identify your passions and purpose. What fuels you? What keeps you working hard for the mission? Make sure you begin each day with purpose. Do like Ben Franklin did, ask yourself what good you can do today. Then, ask yourself what you’ve accomplished at the end of the day.
  
• Get to know your people. We all aren’t motivated by the same things. If you are in charge of others or work with them, it’s important to know what fuels them. Ask them. Take an interest in their lives. How you motivate them will reveal itself in that relationship.
  
• Get ready for any opportunity. I always visualize this as the track stars get in their position waiting the signal that they can begin their sprint or race. Are you in that position? Are you ready for the opportunities that await you? Is your team?
  

If you are jazzed about something so much it shows on your face, its what you talk about, it’s the thing that everyone knows about you…. It will be contagious. People will jump on the wagon with you. They’ll want to be with you on the mission. Create that environment. It all starts with you…. One person.

Thanks VASP for the opportunity to talk about motivation. I really loved spending the day with you. - Lisa

Are Your Employees Ready to be Busy?

My husband and I go to the same bagel shop every weekend. Sometimes, both weekend mornings. And, sometimes we even go for coffee on a weekday. We really enjoy the place. We grab our usual seats by the window and settle in for an hour or longer.

The food and service are usually pretty consistent. Random times we have to wonder if our bagels were really toasted or if we gave them the wrong order- resulting in a little different outcome than we expected. (smile) But, we grin and roll with it. We are very agreeable customers- at least I think so.

This morning, however, was “one to take the cake or bagel” so to speak. It was wildly busy (which does happen during every shift). We stood in line for about 15 minutes. No big deal. We were up for it. I said my usual, “hello” to the new-ish clerk behind the counter when she looked up at us in exhaustion. I got a tepid “hi” back. She took our order and I sensed trouble. She didn’t seem as familiar with the system as the seasoned clerks we know so well.

15-20 minutes later my bagel came out. By itself. It did not accompany my potatoes nor was my husband’s meal in sight. 10 minutes later, my husband inquired as my bagel sat quietly cooling to room temp, loosing the lovely gooiness that the peanut butter possesses on a warm one. “It’s coming,” the newbie said before he opened his mouth. He sat back down. 10 minutes later he inquired again. “It’s coming.” Finally we saw it across the room. My potatoes still missing in action. Later they emerged- cool to the touch. While my husband was up at the counter asking them to toast his 40+ minute late meal, I was quickly behind him with my potatoes. Now I was perturbed. It took 5 minutes for anyone to pay any attention but when they did I asked for a fresh batch of potatoes- and ones without a foreign object (a mushroom or piece of meat) in them. I think she rolled her eyes.

I could go on with the story but I’ll spare you as I had hoped to be spared myself.

The gist is that even loyal customers are not going to forgive bad service. TRAIN YOUR STAFF to recognize busy atmospheres from a customer’s perspective. They pay the same price and expect the same consistency in service and food quality. They pay more in fact, because they are willing to wait in lines and wait a little longer for HOT food.

We understand the stress level is higher during busy times. We know you are working hard. But, we are still your customers. We do have the right to expect a few things from you- even when you are busy.

I really wanted to say, “I am really sorry that you are so busy.” But, I don’t know that any of them would have gotten the real meaning of my statement.

We’ll find another favorite. Thanks. I take my money too seriously to tolerate bad service and bad food.

Workplace and Off Hours Ethics- They do matter!

This week I’ve been quoted in the Examiner, twice, on workplace ethics issues. First, was the article discussing the support Roman Polanski has received for his hide and seek role in a rape case from the 1970’s. The conversation then generalized to non-famous employees and others who behave badly off hours.

See these links for both articles:
http://www.examiner.com/x-13521-SF-Workplace-Communication-Examiner~y2009m10d4-Roman-Polanski-supporters-Who-cares-about-rape-Hes-great-at-his-job
http://www.examiner.com/x-13521-SF-Workplace-Communication-Examiner~y2009m10d5-Should-your-private-life-affect-your-career

Here’s an excerpt from an email I sent the writer, Kenya McCullum.

… Professionals should have personal lives but they need to be accountable to their constituents, customers, bosses, companies, etc... and conduct their personal lives accordingly. Look at all of the political scandals that result from affairs. Look at today's news piece on Letterman admitting affairs that someone tried to extort him for. Look at teachers who behave like teenagers- with teenagers. Yes, we should hold certain professions and professionals to a high standard. How would you want a police officer to act off duty?

Integrity and professional conduct are becoming the only hallmarks a good resume needs to feature. Skills are taking a backseat. Want ads should ask" honest wo/men wanted".

Crime is an altogether another animal to open some great discussion. When is it ok to fire an employee who commits a crime (and what level of criminal behavior would be acceptable)? These are great questions. More companies are getting into ethical and legal considerations than ever before- and I think they should be.

Enjoy your life- but be careful to choose a profession that allows you to enjoy it to the extent and in the ways you want. Don't jeopardize your fellow employees and company's reputation. They deserve more than that.

Join me at VASP in Pittsburgh Friday October 9th

I am pleased and honored to be a featured speaker at this year's Volunteer Administrators of Southwestern Pennsylvania's conference. I will be speaking on motivation- how to do it for yourself and your employees (whether they are paid or not).

I usually talk about time management, stress reduction and goal achievement, so this will be a welcome change of pace. I'll talk about motivation through storytelling- sharing some well known leaders of motivation as well as those stories closer and more intimate to me. I'm expecting some great energy- from the talk as well as the conference as a whole.

Think about what motivates you. When is the last time you felt wildly compelled to DO SOMETHING? What were the driving forces?

Also consider, how would you motivate others to help you achieve your current mission/s?

Boy, is She Annoying?

I recently watched a well-known, and I believe well-loved, talk show host and chef on her daily show. I must have been a captive victim, in an airplane or something. The situation is escaping me. As you know I don’t watch much television and I certainly don’t make it a daily chore to watch anything consistently- except the Office.

Wow. I found her to be outrageous! She was so very offensive to her audience (I hope they realized it… or maybe I don’t, ignorance can be joy to some). She was attempting to multi-task (cook and take questions) and was doing it poorly. Her inability to do so made her responses short and insulting. Let me give you an example:

(audience member) Q: XXX, I really love your show. I struggle to make risotto. I find it so hard. What is your secret?

(host) A: Risotto is not hard. There is nothing to it. 20 minutes on the fire with constant stirring and steady addition of the risotto is all.

Do you see what I see? Someone told her that they struggle with something and that they find it hard (they emphasized their challenge) and she told them they were wrong. It’s easy. Look at me! Ugh.

The other offense she made was not allowing guests to ask their questions completely. She cut them off about 10 words in- every time. Mind you, she never cut them off when they were singing praises about her. Outrageous. I understand TV is on a timeline between commercials but that is something you control for in other ways. Allowing the host to look rude and insult is only acceptable if that is the show you are running (and sadly there are those shows out there).
Some people are a long winded and their question is quite intelligent and complex- they need more than 10 words to get there!

I’m saddened, but not surprised, that someone that seems annoyed by her guests, is arrogant and offensive has her own show, magazine, etc… She clearly has a following.

Unfortunately this happens, we fall in love with someone and we try to remain true to that love no matter what they do to us. We want to still love them. But, at some point we have to open our eyes and witness it from today’s perspective. Not 10 years ago. Maybe they once were great to us (and themselves). And, now maybe they are just great to themselves. Time to find another love.

Today’s blog is to remind us to live with our eyes open, with a perspective of today and the future. The past is the past. Don’t allow it to dictate your today or your tomorrow.

Also, be mindful when you’ve lost your own way and are no longer delivering the quality of care others deserve (in your work or your home life). Be your best- every day. Don’t slack off. You may find yourself without a fan base if you do.

Sensitivity. Does anybody have any anymore?

Recently I was at the doctor’s office. I was there to have a second ultrasound to examine a cyst on my ovary. Later that day I was to have a biopsy on some tissue in my cervix- an altogether unrelated issue but ultimately tragic as far as timing goes. What a day!

All of that I could deal with. The trouble came when I walked into the ultrasound office to be surrounded by pregnant women, photos of babies (hundreds of them) on the wall and an air of family planning. What a great place this would be for those expecting. Not such a great place for those trying to conceive who are having difficulty (and I don’t consider myself in this class). Not a great place to be as you contemplate cancer which may interfere with your reproduction possibilities in the future.

This experience brings me to the topic of sensitivity. Professionally we owe it to our clients and those who encounter our business or work within it. Personally, we should strive to deliver it in our daily lives. But, how does one acquire sensitivity? Do we know when we are being insensitive, absent someone telling us?

Here are three keys to becoming more sensitive:
1. Open your eyes. Observe more. Recognize when someone’s facial expression changes. Be aware of someone’s physical challenges. Become an investigator with trained eyes as you look at people and a given situation.
2. Step outside of yourself. Ask yourself how that person (or a person with a different situation) might feel in this setting? This exercise will increase your IQ and make you see the world far differently, if you do it often enough. You can think of people you know or know about- how would they feel or what would you imagine they’d think in this situation? You can do it.
3. Be willing to ask. When in doubt, ask. Ask politely with compassion as the foundation. Very few people will be offended at that. Instead of, “I have no idea why or how that offended you!” Ask, “I’m asking because I don’t know but I want to better understand. Can you tell me how you’d feel if….?” Or, “I’m concerned that I may have (or my colleague may have) offended you in some way. Can you help me understand so that I don’t make the same mistake again?” Let people know that you want to be sensitive to their needs/culture/desires, etc…. Be honest. Be willing to learn something.

Yes, some will say, “Get over it. Everything seems offensive to someone today.” Yes, to some degree I understand what you are saying and even agree with you. But, why wouldn’t you want to know when you are the one offending others? Why wouldn’t you want to try to understand where they are coming from? It’s not only affecting your business but its affecting your relationships (which can also affect your business).

Think about the last time you were sensitive to something. How did it make you feel? Wouldn’t you have wanted someone to try to make right on the situation?

In my above example, I believe the hospital should only send family planning ultrasounds to that particular office. I think they should send all others to another facility 2 blocks away and/or another ultrasound office in the same building (if they have one). I can only imagine a woman falling apart in there as a result of the setting. It wasn’t me on that day but it could have been.

Know When to Say When....

Being back in Philly… it was incredible.

I lived in Philadelphia from 1993-1997 while attending Temple University. I lived in North, West and then the art museum area. I loved it. Sure, it had its ups and downs but I loved it. I always said if I found a great job back there I would have returned.

Fast forward 12 years later. I went to Philadelphia last week for a few reasons: the PA Governor’s Conference for Women on Thursday, a book signing at the Big Blue Marble Bookstore in Mt. Airy on Friday and to meet Flavius Jankauaskas, a hero in my book World War II Radio Heroes, on Saturday. Plus I planned to hit some of the old stomping grounds.

My trip was filled with mixed emotions. I walked some of the same paths I had taken years before. Now, with more money- so I splurged on restaurants I could have never afforded to go to as a student. But, with the same sense of uncertainty. Then it was about where I’d go from here. Now, it was about what I had hoped Philly would do for me today.

I must confess that safety was an issue for me. Likely because when I lived there I was attacked. I had recovered, what I thought, was relatively quickly from it but nevertheless a feeling of security avoided me while I was there trying to visit the random sections of the city I had once known. I am also less accustomed to vagrancy as it exists in Philadlelphia. I live in a city-dwelling of Pittsburgh yet am removed from most homelessness and begging as I encountered in Philly.

And, the city seemed far younger than I was comfortable with. Everyone was out for a night on the town while I walked or rode in the taxi solo. I just wanted an outstanding meal- minus the shots of jagermeister and the flirtation of the guy next to me.

I visited one of the old homes I occupied while living there. It seemed littered and sad. Not the youthful, hip, open-door place I had recalled.

I could go on.. but perhaps over a coffee one day I’ll tell you the rest.

Final note: the SEPTA smelled. Not necessarily bad, just smelled. I passed an entrance and quickly recalled the familiar odor. It didn’t repulse me but it did jog my memory to only that which it was- SEPTA. I rode it again for old times. Yep, got lost again- bad directions from one of the cashiers.

Okay, one more, just because I’m feeling moody about this… This was the only place in the world I have asked 3 people to take a picture of me and a friend and heard the word “NO”. They acted as if I was trying to sell them something. It was rude. I’ve journeyed all over this beautiful world and this is how my beloved city of Philadelphia treated me.

I share this because I am enthralled with the experience. But I also share it as a coaching moment, believe it or not.

REALIZE WHEN YOU’VE OUTGROWN A PLACE.
REALIZE WHEN A PLACE CAN NO LONGER LIVE UP TO YOUR POTENTIAL.
KNOW WHEN TO SAY WHEN.
GROW UP.

I have. Philly is no longer that place I dream about returning. It’s that place I may enjoy heading back to for a couple days with a friend but not more than that. Thanks Philly for being what you were when I needed you to be that.

Now, let’s focus on the G-20 coming to Pittsburgh this week.

Multi-tasking and Juggling is OUT; Focus and Prioritization is IN

We’ve been hearing it for a while. After we all became comfortable with touting our multi-tasking abilities! The news hit…. multi-taskers don’t get quality work done.

We’ve tried to hide from the truth. Hoping the results would be different. But they aren’t.

STOP multi-tasking. STOP having 10 balls in the air at one time. You aren’t doing yourself, your family or your company any favors.

START to focus. START to prioritize your projects and activities. START to apply 100% of yourself to ONE thing at a time.

Here’s how it can look (customize it to your day and activities):

7:30-8:00 Creative writing or reading of industry articles
8:00-8:20 Email
8:20-8:45 Phone calls that you prioritized that need to go out
8:45-9:15 Activity 1 (30 minutes of dedicated time without interruptions)
Stretch or take a 5 minute break
9:20-11:30 Activity (uninterrupted)
11:30-11:45 Email
11:45-12:00 Phone calls that you prioritized that need to go out

Here’s how it should NOT look:

(NO dedicated time to email, phone and creative process or specific tasking)
Constant review of email
Constant calls received and made
5 minutes of activity #1
Take phone call
8 minutes of activity #2
Respond to someone on Facebook
3 minutes of activity #3
Unsolicited phone call received
Lunch at your desk reading email and trying to read an industry magazine article

…. You get the picture

Focus. Prioritize. And for goodness sake, stop saying, "I'm a great multi-tasker." Thats so passe.

Join me in Philadelphia September 16-19th!

Join me in Philadelphia this week!

The Pennsylvania's Governor's Conference for Women will be held on Thursday, September 17th. Visit http://www.pagovernorsconferenceforwomen.org/ for more details.

On Friday, September 18th, I'll be signing books at the Big Blue Marble Bookstore in Mt. Airy. Visit http://www.bigbluemarblebooks.com/ for more information.

It will be good to be back on my old stomping grounds. I left Philadelphia when I graduated from Temple University in 1997. I've missed it so much. I'm looking forward to visiting some of the old neighborhoods, eateries and of course, the Temple Bookstore to pick up a few goodies to show off my pride.

Jump Start Your Creativity

I didn’t think of myself as a creative person until I was in my 30’s. I’m not sure if it was entertaining or networking and business needs that brought it out in me, but nevertheless I now consider myself (as others do) to be pretty creative.

To jump start your creativity or to find it, I encourage you to do the following:

• Every few minutes ask yourself, “wouldn’t it be cool if….”?
  

Allow your imagination to take hold and start to dream of the possibilities or the non-possibilities that would be great if they existed!

Another creativity trick is to hone in your observations skills.

• Start to pay closer attention to other people’s creativity. Identify someone or something that you think is creative. Upon labeling it as creative think about your own ability to do it or something similar. Before you know it you’ll be putting your own spin on a creative work.
  
  

Remember, we are what we eat. The same philosophy holds for ‘we are what we surround ourselves with”. If you want to embody something, surround yourself with people who have that attribute. Read about it. Think about it. And, it will be.

It’s that simple. Now, wouldn’t it be cool if…..

5 Tips for Pursuing Employment

It’s a wild emotional rollercoaster ride- being gainfully employed and feeling secure than then given the dreaded “we don’t need you anymore” or “we can’t afford to keep you on” line.

At first you may rationalize that a few weeks or months off will do you good. After all, you’ll be getting unemployment (if you are lucky). Why not take a rest?

But at some point you’ll start to worry. You’ll hear of others not getting jobs and not being able to care for themselves and their families. You’ll start to wonder what kind of job you’ll have to take to make ends meet.

You’ll go through various stages- anger, depression, self-pity, annoyance, defiance, sadness, guilt…. It won’t be easy. But, it will pass if you put yourself on the right track.

Here are 5 Tips for getting you on the right track:

1. Get up every day at a decent hour (say 7 AM) and get out of the house.
2. Volunteer at least 20 hours a week at a place or with people you will enjoy and feel like your contribution matters (animal shelters, religious institutions, senior centers, non-profits of all sorts, hospitals, etc…).
3. Go to at least 2 networking groups or social group events each week. (Google groups in your area for various areas of interest- there are also groups for the unemployed)
4. Have a resume ready to go for each area of interest you have or area you may want to target (a general resume, a technical resume, a “field-specific” resume like healthcare).
5. Let everyone in your life know that you are looking for your next position (not job) in the xxx area. Make sure people know you are looking and they are looking out for you. Don’t make it sound desperate- keep it positive and professional. Make sure they know what you do or want to do. Help them help you better. And, don’t forget to ask them how you can help them!
6. Bonus Tip #6: It goes without saying, but you should be spending at least 2 hours a day actively looking for open positions and targeting companies you want to work for. Call them. Submit resumes. Don’t just spend your time in the “research” mode. You must be in the “sending” “calling” and “doing” modes. You can’t be interviewed for what you don’t put in for!
   
   If you like these tips let me know and I’ll send you 5 more!