Sensitivity. Does anybody have any anymore?

Recently I was at the doctor’s office. I was there to have a second ultrasound to examine a cyst on my ovary. Later that day I was to have a biopsy on some tissue in my cervix- an altogether unrelated issue but ultimately tragic as far as timing goes. What a day!

All of that I could deal with. The trouble came when I walked into the ultrasound office to be surrounded by pregnant women, photos of babies (hundreds of them) on the wall and an air of family planning. What a great place this would be for those expecting. Not such a great place for those trying to conceive who are having difficulty (and I don’t consider myself in this class). Not a great place to be as you contemplate cancer which may interfere with your reproduction possibilities in the future.

This experience brings me to the topic of sensitivity. Professionally we owe it to our clients and those who encounter our business or work within it. Personally, we should strive to deliver it in our daily lives. But, how does one acquire sensitivity? Do we know when we are being insensitive, absent someone telling us?

Here are three keys to becoming more sensitive:
1. Open your eyes. Observe more. Recognize when someone’s facial expression changes. Be aware of someone’s physical challenges. Become an investigator with trained eyes as you look at people and a given situation.
2. Step outside of yourself. Ask yourself how that person (or a person with a different situation) might feel in this setting? This exercise will increase your IQ and make you see the world far differently, if you do it often enough. You can think of people you know or know about- how would they feel or what would you imagine they’d think in this situation? You can do it.
3. Be willing to ask. When in doubt, ask. Ask politely with compassion as the foundation. Very few people will be offended at that. Instead of, “I have no idea why or how that offended you!” Ask, “I’m asking because I don’t know but I want to better understand. Can you tell me how you’d feel if….?” Or, “I’m concerned that I may have (or my colleague may have) offended you in some way. Can you help me understand so that I don’t make the same mistake again?” Let people know that you want to be sensitive to their needs/culture/desires, etc…. Be honest. Be willing to learn something.

Yes, some will say, “Get over it. Everything seems offensive to someone today.” Yes, to some degree I understand what you are saying and even agree with you. But, why wouldn’t you want to know when you are the one offending others? Why wouldn’t you want to try to understand where they are coming from? It’s not only affecting your business but its affecting your relationships (which can also affect your business).

Think about the last time you were sensitive to something. How did it make you feel? Wouldn’t you have wanted someone to try to make right on the situation?

In my above example, I believe the hospital should only send family planning ultrasounds to that particular office. I think they should send all others to another facility 2 blocks away and/or another ultrasound office in the same building (if they have one). I can only imagine a woman falling apart in there as a result of the setting. It wasn’t me on that day but it could have been.