Enjoy the Perfect in Imperfection

As the spring has sprung where I live, I was reminded to embrace every moment of sunshine and every bud about to erupt on a stem. The air feels so welcoming. The scent in the air is so enveloping. It truly is Spring Fever.

No matter what the full day brings you. No matter what stresses exist at work, home or play…. Let the little moments signaling brighter, warmer days soak your psyche for a few minutes.

I enjoyed eating a meal outside in my backyard- even though the dogs would fence fight a stranger or an enemy rival every 20 minutes.

I enjoyed the porch swing even when the air was a tad cooler than I wanted, just to feel my feet being swept out from under me in full control and safety.

I enjoyed looking at the yard, even though it signals the hard work ahead.

And, I dreamt of that first vine ripen tomato- even though its not been planted yet.

Enjoy the moments of beauty that exist, even if they are surrounded by other things that have to be managed, cared for our cautioned. Realize it is beauty inside of those things and you can harness it.

6 Tips to A Better Job

I am so fortunate to work with such innovative clients. Yes, some of my clients are looking for work. Others are looking for opportunity… Opportunity to leave their current positions in pursuit of jobs or lifestyles that will be more fulfilling.

Now I know what you are thinking, “Lisa, why on earth would they choose to do that in this climate?” Well, because they can. You can too. Believe it or not the sky isn’t falling. Jobs are out there. Opportunities exist.

Most people will opt to complain about the market and allow the excuse to limit their potential. I don’t have those folks as clients, nor would I want them.

In the last two months I’ve had two clients choose to leave full-time, lucrative careers. One left to pursue her dream job, still in sales, but a far more risky and niche market. The other opted to pursue part-time work and focus on her family life. She did that with almost a year of thought and preparation.

Here is how you can find a better job… or dare I say “opportunity”

• Take a hard look at how you are living. What are your income needs? What expenditures do you have that you must continue to carry? Are you fulfilled in your current role/s?
  
• Identify your dreams. What would you like to do or not do with your time?
  
• Create a plan and a timeline for change. Map your dreams onto a timeline and begin your preparation today.
  
• Tell everyone you know (except perhaps your boss) about your dreams. Don’t be shy. They may know of an opportunity that exists that puts you on your path.
  
• Liquidate your “unnecessary stuff” and reduce all spending immediately to adequately prepare for the transition.
  
• Meet with people (over the internet perhaps) who’ve done it (in the specific or broad sense of what you plan to achieve) and learn from them.
  
  Here’s to a great life!

Sometimes Life Calls for a Little Tough Love

I remember hearing about a psychologist in Philadelphia, many years ago, who worked very differently than most. He yelled at his clients. His success rate was, apparently, through the roof. (Maybe because they were jumping that high to get away from him!)

I recall my own tough-love teenage years, as my mother tried everything in her arsenal to get me to cooperate and stay alive day to day (or just make it to graduation). The tough-love approach, as much as I hated it, worked well. She denied me things as a result of my behavior- that really hurt (and proved wildly effective). Do you see the pattern here?

Tough love isn’t about yelling at people but it is about being direct, deliberate, and, at times, unflattering. There are consequences. There is action (or in-action, depending upon the desired effect).

A drill sergeant delivers tough love but s/he also embodies strength, responsibility, authority, and leadership.

You may be in need of some tough love. Or someone you know is. Here’s how I recommend you begin the approach:

• Stop being the crutch they need to carry on. Don’t be an enabler.
• Have a 15-minute conversation with them explaining the new road you are taking (and why). No discussion. This is informational only.
• Lay out the rules.
• Lay out the consequences.
• Be diligent in applying them (and ensure you have the authority to).
• Take 15-minutes to yourself each day to redefine why you are doing this, the intended outcome/s, and the approach specifics.
• Involve other people as necessary (if its trouble with your kid at school, involve school partners, truancy officers, etc….).
  
  Examples where I believe a tough love approach is necessary:
• When someone’s health is at risk.
• When someone’s marriage is at risk.
• When someone’s career is at risk.
• When behavior disruptions are detrimenting the family and/or office.
• Substance abuse.
• A failure to take responsibility for one’s own actions/inactions.
• A disciplinary problem person.
  

Disclaimer: tough love should not be used to abuse another person. It does not include verbally insulting, assaulting or otherwise "do harm" to others. It is one of the available approaches to curb undesired behaviors (in ones self as well as others). I consider it more of a reality check grounded in organization, clarity and compassion with a desire to help another lead a productive life.

An Exercise in Recall

Take an hour this week and sit down with old photo albums. Do this alone or with someone you care about.

Revisit places, people, feelings and events of last month and/or years ago. Think about how you felt at that time in your life. What was going on with you.

Ultimately, I want you to recognize the journey you've been on... and how far you've come. Are you happier now than ever? Or do you still have some work to do to have the life you want?

Spend some time with the old you. Enjoy your old self and find pleasure in the days gone by. If you have any peace to be made with where you were or where you are, do so. Now is the time to make great memories to relive in 10 more years.


Happy memories. And, even happier memory making!

Gift Giving in Tough Times

Do you remember how we "changed" after 9/11? People reclaimed the family as a priority. We took time for reflection and contemplation of purpose. Well, something slightly similar is happening now with people reexamining how they spend money. Both times bring us back to a tough evaluation of what is really important to us.

I really struggled over whether the economy should effect my wedding site selection. Do I try to have a budget wedding (more than I would normally) to reflect my understanding of the economic downturn? Or, do I find other ways to accommodate the tightening of wallets, while still having my dream wedding. I chose the latter. I did that for more reasons than I can type here (just for time sake) but one was because the economy will correct itself over time, and I didn't want to have to look back at one of the most significant days of my life and say, "I had to do that because the economy...". I fully recognized that some of my guests may no longer be able to come based on my luxurious choice. We can celebrate with them in other ways. But, this is still the wedding I've looked forward to for many years- and I'm not going to let fear dictate how I remember it forever. And, besides, I'm the one encouraging you to stay away from the fear mongers, the nay sayers and the downers who will bring you nothing but depressive thoughts. I help people everyday find jobs, recreate a life they have always wanted, and stay on top of their games (whether that is personal or professional). So, what role model would I be to reject my dreams?

That was a long story to serve the title of this blog: gift giving in tough times. I encourage you to revisit what "gift" means. What are the greatest gifts you've received? Its likely more about the sentiment, the memory, the feeling, than it is about the "thing". So, rethink your next gift to someone you love. Make it memorable- and that doesn't always mean expensive. You may also want to ask them what they want. They may have revisited what is important to them, and give you a surprising answer.

All in good health.
Lisa