The Sound of Friendship

Forgive my failure to post in recent weeks. We welcomed our daughter, Bahia Lorraine, on July 18th. Her birth story wasn't quite what we had planned but was joyous nonetheless. It has been a roller coaster ride with many highs and lows- oh, and many sleepless nights too but that goes with the territory of a newborn I suppose.

This blog posting pays homage to the many friends that came to our aid during these weeks. The gave me many examples of pure friendship and love .. and I thought I'd share them with you.

In a nutshell, our labor was a 56 hour event. I labored naturally, without pain medication (as I wanted) for 55 and a half hours. When ready to push, our midwives determined our baby was breech and I had to go in for an emergency c-section. But alas, our beautiful baby girl was born at 5:07 AM on 7/18. We were overjoyed.

Sadly, on day 4 of her life we reentered the hospital, the Children's Hospital Intensive Care Unit. Bahia was severely dehydrated and her jaundice had gotten out of control due to that. Her bilirubin level was 25 - which is critical. The doctors were preparing us for lumbar punctures, she endured two of them, total body blood transfusions, and many needle sticks (her veins continued to collapse as they tried to find one for an IV). The greatest worry was the jaundice getting to the brain and damaging it. Time was of the essence. We spent 5 days in the NICU.

During that time we received many blessings (AKA the sounds of friendship). Here are just a few of them:

• Two of our girlfriends emailed, "We are just a 4-hour drive away. We love dogs, as you know, and can even clean in a pinch. Can we come up and help you?" Yes, you can. Thank you. They came and walked the dogs, cared for the house, stocked the fridge, cooked meals, everything. They were angels.
• Another friend asked, "Do you need breast milk for Bahia?" Yes, I do. Thank you. Anyone who has breastfed a baby or found themselves incapable of doing so will know what a gift this is. (And, I'm not interested in anyone emailing me telling me of the infection risks of sharing breast milk. I know them all. And, I trust this person with my life. I'm honored to receive her gift for my baby.)
• Our church, Allison Park Church, put a photo of Bahia in the ICU on the large screens during service and prayed for her. During those morning hours, Bahia was taken off all of her bili lights, antibiotics, and extra fluids. She was stable and remained in the hospital for only one more day.
• My mother and her husband cared for our home and dogs while we were in the early days of the NICU. They managed to do that while dealing with their own grief over our situation. This is my mother's only grandchild and this should have been the most joyful of her days but instead it was filled with worry and house chores. We're very thankful they were here. 
• Finally, another friend asked, "Can I come over and walk the dogs and bring you lunch?" Yes and yes. Thank you. She not only did that (managing two wild dogs; one a bully breed and another very fearful) but she paid for a house cleaner to come, when I was ready, to manage some of the things I simply couldn't.  What a godsend.

These are just a few examples of the blessings we've experienced over the last few weeks. They made me reflect on how I have responded to others experiencing crisis- and my behaviors of friendship overall. They've made me realize that I can't recall when I've done something as wonderful as above for someone else. And for that I am ashamed. I will work harder to be better and do more for others- as they have done for me. Thanks for that gift also. We all need a reality check at times. The last few weeks have given me my share of those, in many respects.

Go forward in great friendship and do great things for others. They'll appreciate it.